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my 17 year will have the honor of bring a pallbearer for my mom.

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for the hardest day of my life ,my son will have the biggest honor of all he will carrie my mom to her final resting place. he has asked me, mom is it ok to feel sad and happy at the same time, for the first time in my life i could not answer him i feel so bad i have never not been unable to give one of my children an answer for anything. my heart is so broken that  my children are feeling my pain . and i am having a very hard time dealing with my own childrens pain.


by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:16 AM
Replies (11-14):
by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 12:21 PM

I'm sorry about your loss  and think that your son is very brave.

 I lost my father in law on the 3rd of this month and don't know how to reach out to my husband but I am encouging my children to let out there feelings if they need to cry let them cry if they have questions ask and all we can do is answer them the best way we can and we also have to ask for help you are not alone.  your family is in our prayers.

by on Sep. 9, 2009 at 11:33 AM

I agree 100%.  So sorry for your loss.

Quoting summerdayz:

I am so very sorry about your mom. I see nothing wrong with your children seeing your pain. You can grieve together, and comfort each other. Trying to hide your pain won't work anyway, and it really IMO won't be beneficial to anyone. Your heart is broken...all you can do is go day to day , and over time as the days pass, the pain will lessen some. hugs...

by on Sep. 10, 2009 at 10:28 AM

Angie I just seen this post today but I figured it out in chat yesterday and I just wanna say it's ok to let them see that it hurts you there's nothing wrong with that. I know its hard to let them see it and that you feel like you should be the rock. My mom did that when my grandmother died and she hid her pain yet she was the one who took care of everything, she did have a little help from my aunt but not enough. Finally at Thanksgiving she broke down (my grandmother died on Halloween morning in 2007 and her birthday was on Thanksgiving that year) I don't think you should hold it in because it's not good for you, it'll just build up until you explode! Like I said yesterday please let me know if you wanna talk or anything! <3 and again I'm sorry about your mom luv.

by on Sep. 11, 2009 at 6:28 AM

We lost my youngest daughter in April of I do know how you are feeling to lose that big part of you.  I am so sorry for your loss.

What is important is that you talk about how you are feeling.  Its okay to cry and be sad, they may even start having questions about other kids were 8, 5, and 3 when their sister passed away.  What I found hardest was people who would either ask why I didnt cry MORE, then other people would say I was crying to much.   All I can say is that there is no how to booklet on how to grieve...everyone goes it differently.   Just know that oyu have a bunch of moms here to be your support....((HUGS))

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