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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

What is the best way?

Posted by on Sep. 9, 2009 at 10:07 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hey Ladies,

I was wondering have any of you been able to get your teens to take school more seriously? My sister is not taking school as seriously as I would like her too. And when I say something about her future, all she says, is " I know." Which means, " leave me alone please." So, what do you think is the best way to get through to her? Thanks.

by on Sep. 9, 2009 at 10:07 PM
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Replies (1-7):
mary717
by on Sep. 9, 2009 at 11:15 PM

My dd is a sophomore in high school. She is trying really hard to graduate as a junior instead of waiting until her senior year. Maybe it would motivate her to be able to graduate early?

Also, she wants to go to Dental school. Grades and attendance have to be good to get into a good college. You can't make a great living without college anymore.

JennyMarie
by on Sep. 9, 2009 at 11:41 PM

I told my son I simply couldn't support him all of his life. That he needed to do good in school so he could get into a good college with hopefully a scholarship. , and if he chose not to do good and have a ho hum attitude then that was his fault if he ended up flipping burgers somewhere,

He changed his attitude. Plus if he doesn't have good grades he can't play football.

KatCh
by on Sep. 10, 2009 at 9:37 AM

Maybe when she says she knows, she really does know? At my sons' school, the guidance counselors make sure to see every student at least once or twice a year to go over their transcripts to make sure the student is taking the right classes and will graduate on time. My 16 yr old just started his junior year and he says it's amazing how different everyone is this year. They've all started taking things seriously and are more focused, because these are the grades colleges will see. Maybe your sister just needs to realize it on her own. 

rkoloms
by on Sep. 10, 2009 at 10:56 AM

Rather than telling her what to do, ask her what her goals are and what her plan is to achieve them. My daughter wants to go to Boston University; the only way that we can afford this is with scholarships and loans for at least half; she doesn't want to graduate college loaded with debt, and knows that grades are not just the key to admission, but the key to attending her dream school through scholarships. She also has the goal of taking enough AP classes to graduate high school as a college sophmore.

The motivation needs to come from your sister; you need to work with her to help her find it.

Robin in Chicago

Boothfamily
by on Sep. 10, 2009 at 11:01 AM

Everyone is different and it takes different approaches. Just sit down and talk to her w/o accusing or pointing fingers. Ask her what her goals are?

PhillyinFrance
by on Sep. 11, 2009 at 8:28 AM

I have this problem too.   My son is entering HS and it just hasn't clicked.  He does the homework, but doesn't push himself any further - and I'm so sick of hearing how he is so very smart, could do so much better, should participate more... and IMO he needs to study (not just do HW) so I'm hoping to find a solution here too.  This year, we have really cracked down on TV and PC time - in the past, he was allowed to use them if done his HW - this year, we said it's all off all week to give you time to study, whether you have HW or not, open a book and review the lesson.

That said, my jr. high school daughter is better now.  Alot comes from friends.  We had one girl over who I particularly like and I heard her tell my daughter that the kids that were goofing off in their class last year 'just don't understand that their education is for them, they are penalizing themselves by goofing off and not doing their work"'.  Well, statements like that seem to affect her more than anything I can say.  I don't control who she is friends with, but I tend to try to offer or accept more outings with kids that are a good influence, and even make positive comments about those kids.  While my DD started last year our very mediocre, this same girl just happened to mention she was on honor roll - and believe me, her parents aren't bribing her with rewards - she's the first to say it's for her future, and to explain (with good reasoning) how she wants to be an orthodentist.    While my DD has no idea what she wants to do, it seems to help that she is around kids that take school and their future seriously. 

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Sep. 11, 2009 at 11:24 AM

You could try this get a couple of local newspapers. First go to help wanted.have her find a job that she would qualify for without college degree. Next let her find an apt. Now have her figure out her monthly income at that job.If she thinks she would make $10 per hour.Say hell I'll give ya 12 per hour.Now have her subtract rent, elec,water,(use your bills for reference) Does she have or want a car? add that in along with insurance etc. She will figure out in a matter of minutes.that school should be her priority!   I did this with my son and my brother with his DD.His dd just got accepted into Nursing school.Mine is in the Army. This was a real eye opener for these kids.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

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