I saw my brother's fiancee on Father's Day. We started talking about giving birth and such and I told her that I was considering unassisted next time (I had a waterbirth assisted by midwives with DD). Her eyes became as big as quarters! lol. She started talking about some case where a woman was forced to give birth in the hospital, she didn't seem to know very much about it but she said that when they went to get "supplies" for the birth from the local hospital they said she couldn't have a homebirth because I guess there was something high risk about her pregnancy (not sure what). I asked her what kind of supplies they were getting.
Her- "I don't know, like the scissors to cut the cord and the stirrups and..."
Me- "Stirrups?!?!
Her- "You know, the things to hold your legs open (visual motion)"
Me- "Why would they need those?"
Her- "You know, to have the baby!"
Me- (laughing) "You don't need stirrups to have a baby"
I proceeded to explain how giving birth laying on your back is actually the worst way (gravity) and how women squat, get on their hands and knees, use a birthing stool, etc to give birth. She was dumbfounded. "On their hands and knees? To have a baby?" "Every time I have ever seen it, they were on their back." I tried explaining how stirrups were just for the benefit of the doc. Sigh, all that misinformation out there!
Oh, my sis-in-law is a sweetheart with good intent but she has annoyed me a lot with her know-it-all attitude about kids because both her sisters have them and she babysits, lol. When I was pregnant she tried to convince me that having an Epidural was actually better because one of her sisters had an issue in the hospital and had to get oxygen and she didnt use pain meds and the other did use them and she was fine. Also, the doc that delivered the one sister told her it was better. Here is the reasoning she gave me. She said the drugs don't effect the baby at all. Then she said that the drugs lower the heart rate of the baby which is good because it keeps the baby calm. What the? This is a fallacy for obvious reasons. Oh man, sometimes doctors make me so mad when they give out false information!
That's just one story, I have a bunch of them!
Anyone else have stories about dear, misinformed family members who try and convince you out of your choices?
Thanks for sharing this story.
I have many as well but the ignorance and naivity out there makes my BP rise!
When people find out I had twins at home their eyes get as big as saucers.
"On purpose?" Because, we all know no body in their right mind would choose to have twins at home!
Yes, on purpsose
"But twins are HIGH risks!" Says who? Twins are highER risk for not high risk they are a variation of normal. We all know flying is safer than driving yet we still all choose to drive knowing the risks. If you don't want to die then stay home...no we make choices that makes driving safer: sit belt, drive the speed limit, don't drive drunk, etc.
But then again I was already high risk:
over 35
over 5 pregnancies
lost one child
and now twins...
And I had a wonderful VAGINAL DRUG FREE birth at home!
When I told my mom I had a homebirth the first time (I wanted until he was born) she said "they still do THAT there?"
After all how could any civilized nation do something so dangerous as let women birth at home?
Arrrg!
As for, "drugs don't make it to be baby", I for one can't believe women really believe that!
And the "slow heart rate...calm baby???" Yes indeed they are very calm when born shocky!!!!
http://www.natural-pregnancy-mentor.com/epidural-side-effects.html
Yes, indeed epidural are very safe!(I hope you hear the sarcasm)
I had to laugh at the "stirrups." THAT was funny....I failed to get those in my birth kits...darn!
It's hilarious how people respond...
It's sad though that some people are perfectly happy being ignorant.... we will never be able to reach all of them.... but the few we do are so worth it!!!
When some of my husbands family found out that I had my last baby at home - unassisted - they asked, "Weren't you scared?"
"Of what?"
"I don't know..."
Exactly, they just dont even know.... they are so wrapped up in the medical model... they don't even bother to ask questions....
It sure is fun creating a stir... I love being the "wierdo" in the family!! lol
i brung up the topic of homebirths to my mother in law once, jus to see how she would react if we told her we was going to have a UC with this baby. and she started talking about how stupid people are for even thinking about it, and the fact that she had to have 2 c-sections because she wouldn't dialate at all. and that she like being knocked out when she had my husband. "i just went to sleep and when i woke up i had a baby" i just looked at my husband and he was shaking his head behind her. so i didn't say a word. now i'm 33 weeks and have to bit my tongue everytime she brings up "i'm going to have to be the one watching your other 4 kids, no one else will do it", or "you need to stop having kids because you are getting to many for me to watch, you do know as soon as you have that kid steve (my DH) will have to come straight home to care for the other. he will not get to stay with you in the hospital". with my last baby she was complaining before the baby was born.the only thing i want to do is tell her so bad she will not be watching my kids this time, and that i'm having this baby in her back yard right here in my house in my bathtub regardless of if she likes it our not. but then again i could put a list on here of the things she thinks don't know about because "doctors know best".
i am a proverbs 31, biblical, frugal living, attachment parenting, natural healing, modest sewing, God assisted, stay at home, homemaker with a large family and very old fashion views.
links go to several of my favorite groups if you want to check them out.
You know, I didn't get a lot of crap for my first natural water birth beyond the normal, "what if he inhales water", "How would you live with yourself if something goes wrong?" etc. *Eye roll* What I got crap for, and a ton of it, was NOT circumcising our son. You want to know what will get my BP up? The topic of circ'ing little boys. Hmmmmmmmm, I feel can feel it rising now....... :) *deep breath* LOL!
We live in Germany - natural childbirth, water births, etc. are the norm here. I delivered my son 4 years ago in a german hospital. They expect you to deliver natural. The delivery rooms in the hospital are huge with a large bath, balls, cushin area with pulles that extend down from the ceiling (for resistance to hold on). I played soft music and enjoyed playing around with all the different positions as I endured contractions.
Our first 2 were born in the US . The hospital insists thats it's absolutely necessary to take the epidural and quietly push the baby out with those numb muscles of yours. BUT Once I had Isaiah natural (painful but quick and easy). I was out of bed 30 minutes later to hold Isaiah. I will forever try to deliver naturally.. it just felt right.
Now that I am with child #4, I expect to deliver naturally here in Germany ... if I was in the US. I'd search for a midwife just to help assist. I deliver big babies... and I'm a tiny woman. My #2 (at 9lbs. 6 oz). was a serious tear which took 2 surgeons and a pint of blood to fix. I was concerned when I was delivering Isaiah #3 that the same problem would arise. Praise God, he was delivered at 9 lb. 1 oz. which was small enough to slowly squeeze him out without the major tear. This is the only concern I have when delivering..
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Proverbs 4:23
Your pelvis had been proven for a 9 pound baby you'll have no problems. Plus if you are well nourished your skin will stetch.
One more thing an epidural makes you more likely to tear because you cannot control your pushes.
Again, you'll do well! :)
Quoting naturlmomma3:
We live in Germany - natural childbirth, water births, etc. are the norm here. I delivered my son 4 years ago in a german hospital. They expect you to deliver natural. The delivery rooms in the hospital are huge with a large bath, balls, cushin area with pulles that extend down from the ceiling (for resistance to hold on). I played soft music and enjoyed playing around with all the different positions as I endured contractions.
Our first 2 were born in the US . The hospital insists thats it's absolutely necessary to take the epidural and quietly push the baby out with those numb muscles of yours. BUT Once I had Isaiah natural (painful but quick and easy). I was out of bed 30 minutes later to hold Isaiah. I will forever try to deliver naturally.. it just felt right.
Now that I am with child #4, I expect to deliver naturally here in Germany ... if I was in the US. I'd search for a midwife just to help assist. I deliver big babies... and I'm a tiny woman. My #2 (at 9lbs. 6 oz). was a serious tear which took 2 surgeons and a pint of blood to fix. I was concerned when I was delivering Isaiah #3 that the same problem would arise. Praise God, he was delivered at 9 lb. 1 oz. which was small enough to slowly squeeze him out without the major tear. This is the only concern I have when delivering..
Quoting mclaurin612:
erg, my mil is an rn and we have chosen not to vx and i had an unassisted preg. she doesnt know about the up ofcourse but she found out we wouldnt be doing unnessesary well visits or vax for katie she fliped saying i would have a diseased child and she would nevr be normal and cant go to school. she said if she dies from this ill never forgive you. and my fil is just as bad saying that katie needs this and we need to stop being selfish.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! I would tell her, if I let you guilt me into injecting my child with substances I am uncomfortable with while her immune system is sitll forming, and she had a vaccine reaction, I would never forgive you. I make the decisions for my child out of love for her and I do my reseach on them so if something happened to her, the last thing I would be worried about is your forgiveness. All of my decisions are for her and have nothing to do with selfishness.
Well, I think I wrote all that out that way because I wanted to affirm to you that I know you make the decisions you make out of love and selflessness, not selfishness. How easy would it be to go with the flow and just do as the establlishment tells us, despite evidence and intuition. That would be the selfish thing to do (given what you know), following the path of least resistance. But, doing something different and taking flak for it, is done because you believe its the best thing for your daughter. HUGS!
Quoting mclaurin612:
erg, my mil is an rn and we have chosen not to vx and i had an unassisted preg. she doesnt know about the up ofcourse but she found out we wouldnt be doing unnessesary well visits or vax for katie she fliped saying i would have a diseased child and she would nevr be normal and cant go to school. she said if she dies from this ill never forgive you. and my fil is just as bad saying that katie needs this and we need to stop being selfish.
- Bellarose0212
on Jun. 23, 2009 at 9:30 PM