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just join and i'm wondering

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 9:19 PM
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i have been in a could of natural pregnancy and brithing groups. and didn't really like how they made people feel or reacted to some peoples reasons. so i'm wondering is this also a very judgemental group? when my husband didn't agree with a home birth everyone would start saying that i needed to leave him and that he was not the one giving birth. and i don't want to be in a group like that or where i have to watch what i say because of everyone in the group jumping my case. information is good, but it's not worth it if you can't say anything or ask a question.

also wondering is this group supportive of UCing because it states pretty much everything but in the group discription. so i was wondering?

sorry but i want to feel safe in a group and not judged.

i am a proverbs 31, biblical, frugal living, attachment parenting, natural healing, modest sewing, God assisted, stay at home, homemaker with a large family and very old fashion views.

links go to several of my favorite groups if you want to check them out.

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 9:19 PM
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blessedmamaof9
by Group Owner on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:17 PM

First  let me say that yes UCing is a safe subject...I know of two of us here who had UCs...maybe more I don't know.


As for judging.  The plan and purpose is for information to be shared HOWEVER we are all human and we all mess up.  I for one - I can only speak for myself - do not want to judge BUT to be perfectly truthful I can get pretty hot under the collar on some subjects....in which case I try my best to keep my mouth shut. :)


This is a natural mom group..natural birth, breastfeeding, homebirth, attachment parenting, alternatve to drugs (meds)...so if you put a post like..."can't wait for my c-section at 37 weeks"...you may get less than nice comments....I am just being  "smart BTW.


Again I can only speak for me...I am an older mom (really)...I have kids ranging from teens to toddlers...I am passionate about mommyhood, birth, breastfeeding, etc...so if someone comes against what I love and am passionate about it is hard...


I am also a Christian and try to be christlike in all I do...this group is for mom of like minds ...but I realize we are all unique and our families are unique..


I am rambling now...


So yes you can speak your mind and ask questions and no one should blast you.  I have no qualms locking a post if it gets out of hand or someone if for example they do not believe in homebirth and think c-sections are great and they are just here to pick a fight.

At the same time I will ask you to give grace knowing that answers are posted and that you are not talking to a live person...so sometimes it is easy to get offended or hurt when in fact no ofense was meant and it is all due to poor wording.

We are all human and as such we should all treat  each other with respect and much grace.

Did any of this make any sense???

May god bless you and welcome!

Wife to the love of my life - mom of 9 

Praying Moms  ~ Natural Moms  ~ Recipes

Natural Pregnancy

blessedmamaof9
by Group Owner on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:25 PM


Quoting mommaseyes:

i have been in a could of natural pregnancy and brithing groups. and didn't really like how they made people feel or reacted to some peoples reasons. so i'm wondering is this also a very judgemental group? when my husband didn't agree with a home birth everyone would start saying that i needed to leave him and that he was not the one giving birth. and i don't want to be in a group like that or where i have to watch what i say because of everyone in the group jumping my case. information is good, but it's not worth it if you can't say anything or ask a question.

also wondering is this group supportive of UCing because it states pretty much everything but in the group discription. so i was wondering?

sorry but i want to feel safe in a group and not judged.

I forgot to address this.

I would NEVER tell you to leave your husband because you disagree with the place of birth.  Most  husband don't tell their wives because they are big bullies or big meanies or because they just can.  If a husband says no to a HB it is usually scared for his wife and child.

Second, the "he is not giving birth" makes me mad...duh!  Of course he is not giving birth he can't .  Just like I can't pee standing up...We are biologically different so why blast a guy for that he cannot help it.

I am also of the belief that because we - as women - carry the baby in our body does NOT give us the right to call all the shots.  The baby is half of him as well and because he is not caring him/her does not make a father/husband less valuable.

When my DH transports our children by car and I am not with them the children don't suddenly become his to do whatever he chooses with cause he is "transporting them."

As I said:  DHs say no because they are uninformed, misinformed and scared.  Most come around when they are educated....just like us....


Moreover babies need their daddies more than being born at home or whatever.


So unless DH is abusive....keep him! :)

mommaseyes
by on Jul. 6, 2009 at 7:35 AM

i understand that we can't hear the tone people have and try to get a better understanding of where they are coming from. my first daughter was born c-section, and if i had of known then tht she could have been born breech or turned then i wouldn't have had it. i am completely againest c-section unless it is truthfully needed, and it very rarely is.... we have lately stopped vaxing out kids, and i prefer natural med.s over a doctor any day.  when my 5 yr old went for her school physical minus the shots me and the doctor had some problems because 1 i didn't get her vaxed and 2 because she had not been there in 2 years he swore that she had been to another doctor or clinic. needless to say when i get $80 i will be getting their medical records from him. i have found the other day a natural medicine (sp)clinic in the same town. i will probably take my business to.

i'm planning my first UC. our 5th baby is due in aug. but i'm not counting the end of this month out.  it took me till i was 6 months pregnant to get hubby to agree to a home birth. and we had already seen the only homebirthing midwife around here and neither of us cared for her. but she is more of a medwife then a midwife, and hubby just didn't like her.

i wouldn't leave my husband to get a birth i wanted, when i talked to him at first he would just say he didn't like the idea, the mess, or something of that natural. the more it talked to him he finally said what if something happens or goes wrong. i had him watch the business of being born and he started to come around. that and the fact everytiem he came to the computer there was something on there about homebirths. now he is saying that he wants to delivery the baby and he wants to be with me and help me in anyway he can. so somethign has changed in him about it. i'm thinking God has touched him about it because i have been praying about having a UC and everything seems like its falling into place. and suprisingly for my first UC i'm not scared out of my mind right now.

i am a proverbs 31, biblical, frugal living, attachment parenting, natural healing, modest sewing, God assisted, stay at home, homemaker with a large family and very old fashion views.

links go to several of my favorite groups if you want to check them out.

Cynthje
by New Member on Jul. 6, 2009 at 8:56 AM

Hey,

Welcome to this group, we do support UC here and a couple of our members have had UC's. We try to be as supportive as we can and we have a lot of great information!


blessedmamaof9
by Group Owner on Jul. 6, 2009 at 10:46 AM

I am so happy for you that your hubby has had a change of  heart and yes it can happen.

Many of us here have made "dumb" choices out of ignorance that we would not do again.  He was the sickest of all my kids.

My first born was vaccinated because I did not know any better and when I asked the doc he said he should be. He reacted badly and yet I took him back twice before saying no way....

Now my kids don't even see a doc.....the well baby check are for vacc. schedules.  I can see and feel (they are heavy!!!) that my babies are growing and if something was wrong most of the time docs brush you off as being a paranoid mother.

I have had to go in for broken arms (2) and stitches (1) and that is all. Everthing is handled naturally.


I am not against drugs and doc when needed...but they are rarely needed and for that I praise God!

We are all on a journey and we are all at a different place on the journey.

When I started out about 16 years ago I knew no one who had birthed at home, was not circ or vacc, long term breastfeeding, etc.  I was going against my family and most my friends...I was a strange duck...still am :)  I always wished there was an "older" women to whom I could go but there was not.  I had to learn everything the hard way and by reading and learning....

So I always said I wanted to be available to younger moms who did not have anyone.  This is why this forum exist.


I am glad you are here and I am glad you have learned and are learning  so you too one of these days can be there for a mom just starting out...

Quoting mommaseyes:

i understand that we can't hear the tone people have and try to get a better understanding of where they are coming from. my first daughter was born c-section, and if i had of known then tht she could have been born breech or turned then i wouldn't have had it. i am completely againest c-section unless it is truthfully needed, and it very rarely is.... we have lately stopped vaxing out kids, and i prefer natural med.s over a doctor any day.  when my 5 yr old went for her school physical minus the shots me and the doctor had some problems because 1 i didn't get her vaxed and 2 because she had not been there in 2 years he swore that she had been to another doctor or clinic. needless to say when i get $80 i will be getting their medical records from him. i have found the other day a natural medicine (sp)clinic in the same town. i will probably take my business to.

i'm planning my first UC. our 5th baby is due in aug. but i'm not counting the end of this month out.  it took me till i was 6 months pregnant to get hubby to agree to a home birth. and we had already seen the only homebirthing midwife around here and neither of us cared for her. but she is more of a medwife then a midwife, and hubby just didn't like her.

i wouldn't leave my husband to get a birth i wanted, when i talked to him at first he would just say he didn't like the idea, the mess, or something of that natural. the more it talked to him he finally said what if something happens or goes wrong. i had him watch the business of being born and he started to come around. that and the fact everytiem he came to the computer there was something on there about homebirths. now he is saying that he wants to delivery the baby and he wants to be with me and help me in anyway he can. so somethign has changed in him about it. i'm thinking God has touched him about it because i have been praying about having a UC and everything seems like its falling into place. and suprisingly for my first UC i'm not scared out of my mind right now.


Wife to the love of my life - mom of 9 

Praying Moms  ~ Natural Moms  ~ Recipes

Natural Pregnancy

ap.sahm
by on Jul. 22, 2009 at 6:14 PM

hi, I am new here too. I just wanted to say that I am not judgeing about that sort of thing! I know how bad unnessessary interventions are so I hate reading about ppl who induce at 37 wks bc theyre tired of being pregnant but hey, other than that, I think moms should choose if they want to birth at home or hospitals. I prefer naturalbirth in hospital just in case something goes wrong, but thats just for me. The Christian Attachment Parenting group is really good about helping give good info without judgeing or bashing too. Hope That Helps!

         CLICK THIS BLINKY TO FOLLOW ME TO ATTACHMENT PARENTING CHRISTIANS           

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