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OT What have I raised? HELP!!!

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 3:21 PM
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My 7 year old is autistic. She's high functioning, but still has a lot of emotional/social problems, and other things, but the issue at hand concerns her emotional problems.

For the last probably.... 5 or 6 months she has been having extreme emotional outbursts whenever she gets in trouble. We left the 'meltdown' stage about 3 years ago and she had been a very well behaved, well mannered girl. Most people with little contact had no idea she was even on the autism spectrum.

I don't know if her current meltdowns are autism related or not... she's very self hating during these blowups. Screaming at the top of her lungs, hitting herself, saying she wants to hurt herself. Saying things like "I'm just a mean, ugly little girl" - she only says that because she knows I dont' like her saying it, because I've told her it's NOT true- so she says it because she thinks it hurts me. She knows hurting herself hurts me. Many times these meltdowns happen at the slightest little whim. She could get in just a little trouble, where we just talk to her and explain to her what she did wrong- and she still loses it. But it's controlled fairly quickly.

Today she was being plain and simple mean to her brother. I told them to stay in their own rooms because they kept fighting, but their rooms are across the hall from each other so with their doors open they can still see each other. So she had the WalMart ad that Jeremy had been carrying around because it has pictures of Transformers on it and in front of his face she ripped it up- just to be hateful. I talked to her to try and find out HER explanation as to why she did it and we finally got to the truth- she just wanted to be mean because they were in trouble. There was NO other purpose for her doing it. So I kept her downstairs and went up to her room, gathered all of her toys, books, everything except clothing and bedding, and shoved it into the back of her closet that she doesn't use. I called her upstairs and told her to look around. It took her a minute but she finally asked "where is my toybox?" and I told her, "it's put up" "and where are all my toys?" she asked. "they are in the toy box"

So she erupted. And I'd say for no less than 15 minutes now she's been coming in and out of her other closet screaming at me, stomping the floor, slamming the closet door, and overall losing control. I guess she thinks I'm listening to her... I dont' know... I was at first, but I have to finish making lunch so I just don't have time to sit and baby her right now.

I will be going back up there to talk to her after I feed the boys. I imagine she's going to continue throwing her fit in the mean time.....

ugh...

any suggestions? thoughts?

My Family!

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 3:21 PM
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Replies (1-3):
6under1roof
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 3:39 PM

she's moved out of the screaming mad phase and into the 'sorry' phase... so 25 minutes of melt down and so far around 10 minutes of sorry. She just came down and apologized to my face, and to Jeremy's. She's much calmer, but still crying. I told her to just stay up there til lunch is ready and we can talk.


is this normal behavior or are we back to the autistic meltdowns? i'm just not sure how to respond. If she's doing it just because she's being a brat, then I will respond with punishment because I don't deserve her treating me or talking to me like that. BUT if it's the autism, I don't want to punish, because her emotions aren't really her fault. See where I'm stuck. Not having ever been around other kids her age I dont' know what is really 'typical' behavior.

Nita_friend
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 3:41 PM

I think you are doing the right thing. You found out the reason for her behavior and punished her accordingly. I would suggest talking to her later and giving her the opportunity to earn her toys back, by being kind and helpful to her brothers.

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DishragBaby
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 3:50 PM


Quoting Nita_friend:

I think you are doing the right thing. You found out the reason for her behavior and punished her accordingly. I would suggest talking to her later and giving her the opportunity to earn her toys back, by being kind and helpful to her brothers.


I completely agree. 

Earning the toys back is a great idea to work on her behavior also.

 

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