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Is he normal???

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 10:23 PM
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My fiance and I have sex once in awhile but its like he does not want me anymore. It is bad enough I am gaining all of this weight but its like hes afraid to have sex with me for fear of hurting the baby or that the baby is going to grab his penis( which could never happen, hes just crazy) The dr says its normal to have a healthy sex life while your pregnant. I didnt want too in my first trimester and now I am all about it except he doesnt want too I guess because I am showing now !!! PLEASE HELP he is making me so irritated...has anyone else ever had this problem??

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 10:23 PM
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Replies (1-7):
ccouch24
by Member on Jan. 25, 2010 at 10:27 PM

I am kinda nervous that my Fiance will be this way also..He left before I was showing for Utah he's in the Army and went for training. He will be back Friday and I am showing now and I am afraid that he wont be into me as much. We had a normal sex life the forst 13 weeks but I am curious to know if that's going to change...Hang in there.

Mikeyswifey4eva
by Member on Jan. 26, 2010 at 2:43 AM

I can say my sex life with the hubby has slowed down alot....but also ive had the worse morning sickness so i didnt want it much as its easing off ive notice we still havnt picked up again he always says how cute my little belly is ....sometimes i think it me cause it freaks me out alot dont wanna hurt the baby maybe i freaked him out. So will see how it goes as time goes on good luck.

kathymama4
by Member on Jan. 26, 2010 at 9:22 AM

Happened BAD with my first. It can be really hard for guys to adjust, especially once baby is showing. He'll go through the same sort of thing with your breasts if you bf, lol. We learned to try to have sex in the dark, or with me turned around. Not because I'm not still beautiful, lol!, but so he wasn't constantly reminded of the baby. Also, I bought a really beautiful camisole that skimmed over my belly in a soft sheer. It helped to make me look and feel sexier, and also to cover my belly, and make the whole thing feel more like it did before baby. Good luck!

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hopefulmom1228
by Member on Jan. 26, 2010 at 9:47 AM

I know how he feels about hurting the baby- isnt this such a silly fear that we have! But I get nervous too...but we dont have any sex problem. I almost rather we slow down! We have sex about every day sometimes every other day. I get so tired! lol. so dont worry girl, this side of it all isnt that much better!! But you should tell him how you are feeling, that it makes you feel like he doesnt want you when he acts like that. He prolly doesnt realize he is making you feel like that. They dont understand how ugly and gross we feel right now! 

JeresMom
by Group Admin on Jan. 26, 2010 at 2:56 PM

I think the two of you should sit down and talk about it.  Has he gone to the baby appts?  If so that is a great time for you to ask the dr in front of him so he hears the professional answer.  Try not to focus on how it makes you feel but more about how your libido is speeding up and you are very interested in getting down!  Do you really need to ask or discuss?  Would he say no if you just came on to him and went for it so to speak?  This will go away and I am guesssing since this is his first baby he is probably just being cautious.  If hes not comfy with the idea I wouldn't push the issue there are ohter things the two of you could do together that could be satisfying without his fears of penetration.

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GraceZsMom
by Member on Jan. 26, 2010 at 3:22 PM

We also had the same problem with the first one but one night I totally surprised him with a sexy little outfit that he loved. This time it was my fault I was  not feeling comfortable with the love life because I was so nauseus. The first baby I felt that he didn't want me because I was starting to show and the same thing about the baby getting hit or grab him and we had a long talk about it and really what was wrong was that he was worried about having a baby ( his dad is an alcoholic and didn't want to be like that), also we were living in Oregon and trying to build a home for us in Montana . He was so stressed and depressed that he couldn't get in the mood.

I wouldn't worry about it. I think that every guy goes through it especially with the first one.

no_floppy_sox
by Member on Jan. 27, 2010 at 5:00 PM

It is totally normal.  I accused my DH of cheating on me.  It's even worse now that we had a miscarriage in between pregnancies.  He won't even touch me now.

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