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them jerks!****vent****

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 12:19 PM
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i am 19 weeks, and i have a 15 month old....we pland for this baby.  but when ever i see someone i know they give me crap about it..."you should have one out of dippers be for you put one in dippers... are you sure you can handel 2 babys?... werent you being'carful'?"  apperontly if i PLAND to have a second baby then i have already thaught of all this,  and strangers look at me like i am a slut when they see me with a baby and a bump.  were do they get off judging me?  this one girl i USED to be friends with,... when she found out i was prego with baby #2 she threw a fit,..."if im not ready for a second child then neather are you, my lil girl is older than yours and i cant do it."  um hello, first of all, i am married, i own my own house, no morgadge.  my husband has a job.  i dont think she has the right to tell me when i am and when im not ready for a baby, i mean hell she dont even know who the father of her child is so obveusly taking parenting advice from her,... not so good.  errrg!  anyone having problems like this?

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 12:19 PM
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by Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:17 PM

 ive had ppl look at me like that too. my dd is 16 months and i'm 20 1/2 weeks preggo.. but no1 in public has said anything.. i'd prolly knock them out. lol

but i took crap from dh's family for a bit. now they just leave me alone lol

by Group Admin on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:27 PM

People are bizarre!  I have not had that problem.  Although I have thought  it about other Moms that were obviously not meant to have kids.  I don't think that your case but maybe its where you live.  People are always excited for us and our son is 20 months old.  But we live in the bible belt area and I think they believe thats what nice young married familys do :)  IDK but then again I don't "get" people.

by Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:22 PM

Can I relate?? Completely my first two are 14 months apart, second and third are 16 months apart, third and fourth are 20 months apart and my last one and this one will be 13 months apart.  We didn't plan it this way but I've tried about every birth control out there including an IUD and it hasn't worked.  people always tell me if you take it the way you should.  how can I screw up an IUD?  Anyway we wanted five so now we're done and my kids are a lot closer than I planned but I love how close they are.

I think it's ridiculous that people think they know what another person can handle.  I've gotten all the comments but I've grown a tough skin.   Something I've learned people love to tell you what they think when you are pregnant or have small children with you.  My husband always has the perfect response but I usually do not what to say at the moment.  It's yours and your husband's business when and how many babies you have.   I would not talk to that old friend anymore if she approaches you again tell her flat out.  You are thrilled you are having another baby right now and that you do not welcome her opinions or advice.  If she pushes the issue walk away she's not worth the effort.

by Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:46 PM

 i know what you mean. my daughter turned 2 in dec, and we planned this baby. a lot of our financial situation has changed, AFTER i got pregnant. so we have been given a lot of crap for that. and the fact that i am only 21.

but like you, we own our home, dh has a job and we are stable. it s not for ANYONE else to decide when you are ready for another baby. my sister had her kids barely 2 years apart, but that was too close for me, i needed more time.

by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 12:15 AM

they're just jealous, love.

i haven't had that problem yet, probably cuz this is my first kiddo, but we've also kept it pretty quiet. but this is the exact reason we haven't told dh's mom; i don't want her sticking her nose up my uterus, y'know?

my mom's first two babies were eleven months apart, so i can only imagine what people said to her. she had a relative who told her that she was physically incapable of being pregnant while breastfeeding, but, well, she was pregnant! she just smiled and nodded. people can be so ridiculous.

it's like that one family who just had their nineteenth kid. i saw them on the cover of a magazine, and the caption read, when is too much? and i thought to myself, like it's anyone else's business to tell someone they can't have children!!!!!!!!! are we in america, or china, where they're only allowed, what, one kid? it's one thing if they're dependant on the government or something, and they're just using and abusing the system, but if they're capable of having tons of kids, who's to stop them? leave me and my uterus alone!

sorry you're having a bad day, mama. hope you feel better now that you vented!

CafeMom Tickers
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 12:55 AM

We're in the US (well, actually I'm in South Korea but I'll get to that in a minute, lol) and more and more, there's this anti-baby/anti-family movement. Part of it, I think, is that there's a really big green movement in the US and therefore, people think that having more than two kids is a bad thing. A number of people in a group I frequented believed that and believe that having a large family is absolutely un-green and socially irresponsible. Since kids aren't needed to help on the farm anymore, they tend to see more than two superfluous.

Now, here in South Korea, they're trying to encourage more families to have kids and to increase the birth rate here. It's not working too well though. They've made abortion illegal (which is NOT working at all, abortion is very common here because the law is rarely enforced and doctors can make money off of it). Back in the 70's and 80's there was a campaign to not have kids because it was unpatriotic. Birthrates dropped by a lot, from something like 4 to less than 2. Now, there's an aging population and hardly enough people to replace that population. The government is even giving pregnant moms money to pay for the prenatal appointments, 200,000 which pays 40,000 per appointment (in other words, less than $200 but that gives you around $40 per appointment). Thing is, housing is EXPENSIVE. Education is INSANELY expensive. Public school, I've learned, is not really free. You pay for it. Everything is really expensive here. It's one reason why we're not going to be staying here to have the baby, there is no way that the four of us can make it here on what my husband makes. Just getting baby stuff would break us.

Unfortunately, people are nosy and think they can tell you whatever they want but you know, just tell them to shut up. It's none of their business how many kids you have or how far apart they are. There are benefits to having kids that close together including the fact that you don't have to quite start all over! DD is FOUR, she'll be four and a half when the baby is born. Not quite my ideal age spread but sort of how it happened. We're having to start ALL over. I got rid of all of her stuff pretty much, especially when getting ready to come here. Fortunately, so far, no one has really said anything negative to me about having another baby. My mom was pretty happy. I'M the one who is freaking out!


Wife to John since 2003, Mom to Natalie (4), and expecting number 2 July 2010.

by Member on Feb. 21, 2010 at 11:14 AM

thank you all...when i talked to my husband about it last night, hes like, "oh so we sholdnt get you a shirt that says oops on it?"  it was funny and it made me feel good...idk why but it did. 

by Member on Feb. 21, 2010 at 11:19 AM

Quoting Beyondthesky37:

  I would not talk to that old friend anymore if she approaches you again tell her flat out.  You are thrilled you are having another baby right now and that you do not welcome her opinions or advice.  If she pushes the issue walk away she's not worth the effort.

lol, she live in FL im in NY so i dont think im going to have to worry about it, but she knows how i feel about it and i havent taked to her  sence then.

by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 12:22 PM

It's so weird how people seem to think they should have an opinion on how & when we should choose to have kids. I can relate to a previous poster about the "anti family movement". There seems to be this new view that having children is irresponsible and death sentence. Luckily we have sites like these to find like minded people who enjoy children.

by Member on Feb. 21, 2010 at 3:23 PM

 ugh thats terrible! People make me so mad! I always get the dirty looks from people because Im not married to my boyfriend. They always see my bump then look down at my hand to see if im married. Then i always get questions and that pity look. So stupid. Just cause we arent married doesnt mean we arent going to in the future! And it doesnt mean my baby is any less loved!!

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