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what is a good way to get my group more active?

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 6:03 AM
  • 5 Replies
Unfortunately my group is for bereaved parents who have lost a child so I don't think the basic tricks are necessarily appropriate and I already had one member somewhat criticise me for suggesting we post about things other than our losses.

But it's unfortunate to me that there isn't a very active group for bereaved mothers that focuses on healing, not just talking about your story and that's it. I think forming bonds with other mothers who have experienced the level of loss that we have is a big step in healing, and part of forming friendships is by learning other things about each other and our families.

I guess I don't want to turn anyone off, you know, fix something that ain't broken. I just wish that more than a dozen of the 1200 members participated.

So what kinds of things are appropriate to get people replying and posting?? I have never been more than a group member so this is all new to me. I'd really like to make our group easily accessable to newely bereaved mothers so they don't have to feel so alone. I already changed and added new keywords, stickied resources (numbers/websites to helpful organizations). It seems innapropriate to spam chatterboxes (not to mention I flipping hate when people leave crap in my chatterbox especially now, it's so impersonal).

I wish I could go into like NC Club and post because there once was a huge Angel Baby thread and there were recent replies. I'm not really sure how else to promote/advertise the group, especially since I'm primarily mobile (I can access the full site from my phone if necessary).

Any ideas would be great, thanks for brainstorming and I hope I never have to see any of you in my group, Grieving; Surviving the Loss of a Child.
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by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 6:03 AM
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Replies (1-5):
MoversShakers
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 11:56 AM

 Do you have it clear in your group descriptions (both short and long), your guidelines and welcome message that the group is about both bereavement and healing?  If not, that might be why someone took offence.  She may have thought you were trying to change the focus of the group.

Also, do you have more than one forum?  If not, you might want to have one completely dedicated to bereavement and one totally dedicated to healing.  That way the two topics stay seperated.

To get your current members active.  Send out periodic bulletins, ask group members what they would like to see, get yourself a dependable admin team.

Quoting .sp4rkl3z.:



But it's unfortunate to me that there isn't a very active group for bereaved mothers that focuses on healing, not just talking about your story and that's it. I think forming bonds with other mothers who have experienced the level of loss that we have is a big step in healing, and part of forming friendships is by learning other things about each other and our families.

 

.sp4rkl3z.
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 2:27 PM
Thanks - I haven't really changed anything that the OP had in place except write a message when someone joins because she didn't have one:

Subject: My condolences
First and foremost, I am devastated to hear of your loss. No one should ever know what you've been through and what you're coping with.

Please don't hesitate to introduce yourself and if you feel comfortable, sharing pictures of your beautiful angel and your family.

I have recently taken ownership of the group and as I have never owned one, this is all new to me! Bear with me, I am working on making the atmosphere more inviting for everyone, from the newly grieving parents to those who are well on the road to recovery.

Again, I am so incredibly saddened that you and your family have experienced the death of your child. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. This process is new to me too, but I will do whatever I can to help you.

I hope you're doing okay,
Meredith
.sp4rkl3z.


Also somewhat reworded the short description:
The loss of a child is the most difficult thing we will ever endure. A group for comfort and support in learning to cope with this tragedy.

(Just added the last sentence)

And the long description:
Learning to live after your child dies is the most emotionally difficult experience a parent will ever endure. It does not matter how or who. We all experience the "why's?" and "what if's?" We have no answers as to why and we beat ourselves up over the what if's. No matter how young or old, our children will always be our babies. They are the babies our hearts and souls mourn, yearn and search for.

Every day, heartbreakingly, a child dies and a mother cries. Every day, somewhere, a mother faces another day without her child. Every day a mother prays for her child. Every day a mother wonders if her child will open the gates of Heaven for her. Every day a mother wonders if there is truly life after death.

Every day a sibling cries for their brother or sister who died. Every day a sibling yearns for that best friend they lost. Every day a sibling says "Shh, Mommy, don't cry. It's okay, Mommy. I'm here, Mommy." Every day a sibling grieves the loss; the loss of their sibling, the loss of their mommy’s heart, the loss of laughter that once filled their world. Every day the surviving sibling wonders "Why them and not me?"

Every day, somewhere, a child dies and someone’s heart shatters. Every day, somewhere, a child grieves the loss of their best friend. Every day, somewhere; society experiences the grief from the loss of a child.

That day and the days that followed will forever be etched into my memory. Grief forever imprinted within the dark shadows of my eyes.


(This is what the OP wrote, I edited it as far as some of the typos and removed a few things, I'm not crazy about it though)
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Liansmommie
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 10:34 PM

Well I say go with the direction you want. If the members you have aren't that active, then maybe the current format isn't working and needs to be shaken up. If you lose members who aren't posting anyway then what have you really lost? Go with your idea and see where it takes your group. I like the PP's idea of a separate forum for those who would rather not move forward just yet but go for it and make the group your own. Often times that is all a group needs to get moving again.


I like the description but not as a description. I have no idea how your group is set up but I would take what is written here and make an introduction forum and make an announcement post out of that at the top of the forum. Then write new descriptions of what you think the group should be about.

Also, I would rewrite this part since it's basically inviting people to find fault with how you are running the group. You may be new but that just means the group is in renaissance mode.


I have recently taken ownership of the group. I am working on making the atmosphere more inviting for everyone, from the newly grieving parents to those who are well on the road to recovery.





MoversShakers
by on Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:55 AM

 I agree with these two statements.

First, nothing in that description is about healing and moving forward, it's all about the grieving process, which is fine, but if you also want to focus on other things, let people know.

Secondly, don't sell yourself short.  You may be new at group ownership but you have a vision for your group.  Let current group members know you'll be making some changes and then go ahead and make the group your own.

Quoting Liansmommie:

I like the description but not as a description. I have no idea how your group is set up but I would take what is written here and make an introduction forum and make an announcement post out of that at the top of the forum. Then write new descriptions of what you think the group should be about.

Also, I would rewrite this part since it's basically inviting people to find fault with how you are running the group. You may be new but that just means the group is in renaissance mode.


I have recently taken ownership of the group. I am working on making the atmosphere more inviting for everyone, from the newly grieving parents to those who are well on the road to recovery.

 



 

MMKherMommy
by on Apr. 17, 2011 at 5:17 PM

i usually just ask a bunch of Q's to get our members talking........liiiike, whats your fondest memory? how do you keep his/her memory fresh 'n alive? what has been the biggest help in learning to maneuver in this grieving process? etc.

looks like an awesome group....so stick with it!

 

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