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Deployment Tips

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 6:47 PM
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Military Spouse

  1. Do something special to welcome your spouse home-help the children make a welcome banner, make your spouse's favorite dessert, etc., but be understanding and flexible if your spouse is too tired to notice.
  2. Give your spouse time to adjust to being home. Don't tightly schedule activities for them. Don't expect them to take on all their old chores right away. Understand that your spouse may need time to adjust to a different time zone, a change in food, etc.
  3. Plan on some family togetherness time. Suggest a picnic or a special family meal. Time together helps the returning spouse to get back into the rhythm of family life.
  4. Be patient and tolerant with your spouse. He or she may not do things exactly as before. New experiences during deployment may bring changes to attitude and outlook.
  5. Stick to your household budget. Don't spend money you don't have on celebrating your spouse's return. Show you care through your time and effort.
  6. Don't be surprised if your spouse is a little hurt by how well you were able to run the household and manage the children without them. Let them know that your preference is to share family and household responsibilities with them no matter how well you did on your own.
  7. Stay involved with your children's school activities and interests. Don't neglect the children's need for attention as you are becoming reacquainted with your spouse.
  8. Stay involved in your own activities and interests, but be flexible about making time for your spouse.
  9. Don't be surprised if children test the limits of the family rules when your spouse returns. It's normal for children to want to find out how things may have changed by acting up a bit. Consistent enforcement of family rules and even-handed discipline are key to dealing with acting out.


  • Go slowly - don't try to make up for lost time
  • Accept that your partner may be different
  • Intimate relationships may be awkward at first
  • Take time to get reacquainted
  • Forget your fantasies
  • Reassure your children
  • Seek help for family members if needed

(Developed by David Gretsch, Mobilization & Development, Ft. Hood MWR)

by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 6:47 PM
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