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The Beauty & Style Lounge The Beauty & Style Lounge

How do you deal with frump girl mode?

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:49 AM
  • 7 Replies

 I am a disabled veteran and I struggle every day with PTSD & MST.  Some days are just too painful to even bother to comb my hair, those are the ugh days.  When several of them get together, and as I get older and more of my physical limitations rule my days, I get into frump girl mode. 

How do you deal with frump girl mode?  You don't have to have my issues, but, new baby frump girl, or out of work frump girl, there are a lot of reasons to get to frump girl.  Is it just one thing you do or do you have a little case of 'magic' stuff that you do to get yourself out of frump mode?

Please share, I need some input, this season has been difficult, personal set backs, an extended family issues from my late father's estate, I have 26 people suing me for $1!  Yeah, crazy stuff. 

Thanks in advance.

 

 

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:49 AM
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littlemascara
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry you are going through all of that.  I have been through sexual trauma in my past and every day is a struggle with health issues now.  Therapy has been very helpful for both, I hope that is something available to you (I know the VA moves reeeeal slow).  There are times where I allow myself days off, because I really just need rest.  But there are days when if I just start with ashower, or if I had one the night before I start with jut washing my face, brushing my teeth,my hair, get dressed, add a little makeup and it does help me just start to get going.  it doesn't mean I am going to get 8 million things accomplished by any means, but I feel a bit better and more present.  For me, perfume always helps.  I even wear perfume to bed.  And I might only get myself into yoga pants and tee shirt, but I always wear some pretty jewelry, because that's my favorite thing more than clothes, shoes anything. :) And I'm just kind to myself.  Doing laundry is a struggle, driving is often a struggle and it's easy to let that all make me feel pretty low, I am certainly not the person I was even 5 years ago physically.  But I set series of small, attainable goals.  If I just say "I'm going to clean the house" that's a recipe for failure.  If I say "I am going to clean the kitchen, or get 2 loads of laundry, or vacuum all the floors (and I had to get a lightweight cordless one, it's awesome, lol) then I can do those things and feel like I am getting stuff down.  No, my house is never a showhouse.  I also have delegated a lot to the kids, stuff they are perfectly capable of doing and being responsible for at their age.  On REALLY bad days, I let DH know and just do my best.  It's not going to hurt anyone if my hair is messy. 

I hope you are able to get support from friends, familyand fellow veterans or even online sites like this and start finding routines that work for you.  My cousin is paralyzed from neck down.  So she relies on her mom to dress, bathe, everything for her.  Her hair is always done, makeup, and she just finds things everyday to be positive about. She's funny and smart, she uses Dragon to do Facebook, Twitter, etc and she has one hell of an active social life.  She has written children's books, does beauty pageants, has a clothing company.. pretty amazing stuff for anyone.  She's a real inspiration to me.  She and I always watch "Push Girls" and talk about it, it's about 4 differnt young women who need a wheelchair for various reasons and how they live life like everybody else and how their lives are different. 

Stay strong mama, you're obvliously a survivor.  And humor helps... I have to laugh.  My kids help with that, my DD just put this on my FB wall to make me laugh:



blondiemomof2
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 7:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I make sure all my comfy clothes are cute. I also have a hairstyle that is pretty low maintainance. I can wash and let air dry and flat iron my bangs for cute beachy waves or blow dry and run a flat iron through it for 30 seconds and it looks presentable. Also a lovely mlbb gloss and some mascara never hurts.

MsBlueBelle
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 1st, Thank you for being a female veteran.  If one more person asks me for my husbands last four I will scream! 

2nd, Go RED SOX!  I grew up under the Citgo sign that you cannot miss if you live in Bean town.

3rd, Thank you for understanding that 'our' frump girl modes are not because we lost our fashion groove, but that it was stolen by some horror that sneaks in steals it back, just when we get on with life.  I have been waiting 26 years, for the VA to make my home handicap accessible.  I have run out of options.  Know any rich people?  lol 

How can I watch "push girls"??  Sounds like I would enjoy that show.  I get tired of looking at peoples fannies.  kwim?

MsBlueBelle
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:24 PM
2 moms liked this

 

jalex
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I have fibro and in a lot of pain most of the time...  I know frump girl mode.  I do wear a lot of yoga pants.  I'm trying not to let the fibro and living in hills of north GA turn me too crunchy.  I have been trying to wear some mascara and lip gloss when I go out as mentioned, it really can help.  Thank you for your service :)

Apr1l
by Katie on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:11 PM
1 mom liked this
It can be very difficult when u get in a deep rut to muster any energy to look pretty..I agree with the precious poster about getting cute frumpy clothes. Also with makeup it can be a little thing that can brighten up your face like curling your lashes and putting on mascara it will open up your eyes more.
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littlemascara
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 1:14 AM

I am not a veteran, I'm sorry if my post was not clear about that. So, thank YOU for being a veteran. :) I have friends and family that are veterans, so that is how I know how the good, the bad and ugly about the VA.  I am, however, a die-hard RED SOX fan. :) Remember when they were talking about taking the Citgo sign down?? Like, WTF? Anyway...thank god Spring Training is here! I'm missing Jerry Remy. :D

Like I said, you're a survivor.  Don't let anyone steal THAT. 

I like your humor. :)

Push Girls is on Sundance channel, the new season starts in Summer I think.  But you can watch the last season on iTunes. You can also follow them on facebook and twitter.  One of my favorite lines was one of the girls flirting with a guy and says "I have 26-inch rims on the side of my ass. It's hard not to get attention."  One "upside"  to being in a wheelchair (again, my cousin manages to stay pretty positive) that I never thought about before my cousin mentioned it, and then they talked about it on the show, is she can wear ridiculously high heeled sexy shoes because she's not going to have to walk in them.  That's getting your groove on in my book!



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Quoting MsBlueBelle:

 1st, Thank you for being a female veteran.  If one more person asks me for my husbands last four I will scream! 

2nd, Go RED SOX!  I grew up under the Citgo sign that you cannot miss if you live in Bean town.

3rd, Thank you for understanding that 'our' frump girl modes are not because we lost our fashion groove, but that it was stolen by some horror that sneaks in steals it back, just when we get on with life.  I have been waiting 26 years, for the VA to make my home handicap accessible.  I have run out of options.  Know any rich people?  lol 

How can I watch "push girls"??  Sounds like I would enjoy that show.  I get tired of looking at peoples fannies.  kwim?


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