Friends and countrywomen, it's time we had a talk. You've got more than a few skeletons in your closet, and it's high time you cleaned them out. And trust me, I'm with you. I just cleaned out a closet that held clothing and shoes dating back to 1990. Going through and editing what you want to keep, what you want to donate, and what you want to burn in a trash heap is not easy, but it doesn't have to be hard.
Here are 10 things in your closet that you're holding onto, but need to get rid of now.
- Pleated pants. Unless you're Jessa on Girls, you're never going to wear those front-pleated khakis or, worse, jeans again because they will never, ever be in style again. The end.
- That swishy suit. Remember those awesome track suits that you could hear coming from a mile away? Swish, swish, swish! They had a fun run, but they're safe to throw away. I mean, not even the hipsters have re-appropriated this style -- that's just how bad it really is.
- Those stupid-expensive shoes that pinch your feet like hell. You paid a shit ton for them, but admit it, you can barely walk in them. Just give up and donate them already.
- That hat. You know the one. You bought it because you thought you'd be a cool hat person, you wore it once, then never looked at it again.
- At least three-quarters of your t-shirt collection. How many high school, college, and work-force tees do you really need? Come on, don't tell me you're dying to remember that corporate retreat team building exercise of '07. Edit out the ones that really mean something and toss the rest.
- The glitter makeup. Or any makeup, really, that's been sitting there for a couple of years, waiting for you to return and deem its shimmeryness cool again. Time to officially part ways.
- Puka shell necklace. Everything from that hippie, earth-mama phase you went through needs to go. I should hope I don't have to tell you why.
- Banana clips. Girl, put it in your bathroom drawer and use it to hold your hair back while you wash your face, or burn the damn thing. Those are the only two options.
- Those too-long pants. Or that too-long jacket, or that shirt that needs to be taken in -- anything that has been sitting there for the better part of a decade under the auspice that you're going to "fix it up", yet haven't, needs to find a new home. You're never going to hem that shit, and you know it.
- That on-sale designer item. You bought it at Saks because it was 75 percent off and have never even tried it on. Not that you don't need a tie-dye floor-length mermaid gown, but let's be real, it's gotta go, darling.
What do you have in your closet that you need to get rid of?