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An offer I can't refuse?

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 12:55 PM
  • 15 Replies

Hubby and I have four kids and we live in Michigan. He was just laid off work again and it doesn't look like he's going to be called back any time soon (auto industry-ouch). I have stayed home with the kids since my first child turned one. We live in a small home, not enough room really, for all of us and its going to be hard to make house payments coming up really soon. My mom lives in NC and these are her only grandkids. She says if we move down there, she will buy us a home (one big enough for all of us). I think hubby sees this as the best thing to do and he really isn't looking for work. My ONLY problem with this is my kids and their friends. I don't want to tear them apart. They all have good friends, but the one example I will give you (to keep it short) is my 14 year old daughter. She is best friends with a severly handicapped girl. They have been friends so long, that kids at school think my dd is her aide because she automatically helps her friend all day long. To move would devastate this girl. So, do I move to where we will all be taken care of, or do I struggle to stay here? All I have to do is win the lottery (never gonna happen). Times are so hard here its really crazy. I wonder what some of you think.

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 12:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kimsardo
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:50 PM

Consider that there is no guarantee that your children's friends will not move away one day.  This is life.  

It did pull at my heart a little when you mentioned your daughters friend that is handicapped. I have a son with Down syndrome so I know how great it is for our children to have friends.  With that said I wouldn't let it keep you from moving.  If the move is best overall for your family, by all means do it.  Your kids will make new friend and in the process they will learn how to deal with change.

May I say your daughter is a special girl.  She has a big heart. God bless you and your decision. 

vickieb310
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:57 PM

I'm in Michigan also.

I'd mention it over dinner to the whole family just to see how the kids take to the idea, but ultimately the decision is yours and hubbys.

I'd probably move though.


NoahsMomma418
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 2:03 PM

I'm from Michigan too. Our poor State!

 personally I would move. a better life for your familyis #1. plus if you r dh gets a good job you will be able to go back to MI for visits/vacations.

yes it will be hard on your kids and their friends but being pen-pals would be great. It would open up new learning and growing opritunities for your children and their friends. Moving is part of life, we all have to do it. =(  

Momma of Prince Charming ( April 07) and the Frog Princess (August 08) ~ Assume I'm nursing at the keyboard


 I'm a co-sleeping,free birthing,baby wearing,hubby lovin', cloth diapering, breastfeeding,non-vaxxing , hippie tom-boy momma!

tinakenny
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 2:08 PM
I hate to sound mean but your daughters friendship isn't
Going to make your house payment. And since you said your husband isn't
Looking for a job I would move. I had to move my kids and they were mad at
First but got over it and made new friends. You have to do what's best for your
Family.
busykids
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 2:23 PM

Oh WOW! I understand where you're coming from, but it's life and things happen we have to do what's best for the family. On the other hand, i feel for your daughter's friend. And I'm not saying it to be mean, with the way the economy is we cant really focus on things that' cant help financially. I would move from MI too if i had an offer like that, i hate the  way MI just turn out to be i want to move so bad. Good Luck!

MommyLady
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 2:50 PM

That is an amazing offer, you have a great mother!!

Between the childrens friends/struggling to have a too small place to live, or having them make a life change but being able to feel more secure in our life....I'm going to choose option B, every time.

Everyone moves eventually, and there's no guarantee that they will even stay in the state when they are grown, you know?  It's just life.

I know it's a hard choice, and we so want our children to have lifelong friends.  Ultimately, you have to do what is best for the whole family, the security and stability of the whole family...not just the kids and their friends.

Blessings.


bergencounty
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 3:16 PM

I guess you and hubby need to decide where your family will be the happiest.

http://www.indeed.com/ is a good search engine for jobs.

There is jobs available at JCPenney in your state. http://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Jcpenney&l=michigan

Is your family close to SC? http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1493129/SC_Needs_Your_Help_Have_You_Seen_This

Aurorasmom
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 5:35 PM

im in agreeance with everyone else.  your daughter's friend's situation definitely pulls at my heart strings, but honestly for your family's sake cant really take that into consideration.  just because you move dosnt mean your daughter cant go back to visit.  she is old enough, or at least getting there, that she should be mature enough to handle a trip like that on her own, which could make it that more special and important when they see each other.

i think you have an amazing offer on the table you cannot refuse, especially in an economic time like this.

good luck ith the decision making!!!

harmonden
by on Jul. 6, 2009 at 8:11 AM

Wow, I didn't think anyone would bother with my question (now I see its under Style for Less, so I'm not sure that's the right place). Hearing from you (and not a member of my family) make sense and I feel a little better abut the situation. I really liked reading what other people think about this. I'm just thinking about a few years ago, everything seemed to be going so well, but I guess that's life! If anyone else has something to say about this, I'd love to hear more! 

flea575
by on Jul. 6, 2009 at 1:24 PM

Hi Well, I'm sorry to hear about the prospective move, for your daughters sake. However.

You know everyone has such great advice, and all of it's true. LIfe happens, movesbow down

happens, and what a rich rewarding experience your dear sweet daughter to not only'make

friendship with someone with a handicapp. However, she bonded with this young

girl and now became best of friends. You know true love happens when folks are just'

genuine. She is a true friend, and they will and can I'm sure keep in touch through writing

and also explain to her, that this would also be an opportunity for her girlfriend to visit

over the summer vacations. This is also what life is about. Change happens and sometimes

for the good sometimes for the worst, but I believe utltimately change is meant to be for a reason. God does not close one door that he's not already open a better one for you. Take your Precious giving loving Mom up on her offer. What a generous loving thing to do for her family. You'll be fine. Good luck. Blessings

flea575

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