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looking for toddler advice

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 8:30 PM
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I have a 2 1/2 year old.  One day she was a perfect little girl and the next day woke up a with full fledged terrible two's.  She is running my life and I do not know how to get control back.  If she is doing something and I tell her not to do it, I swear she does it more.  She will not stop running if I tell her too she runs faster, she yells at me, goes near the stove when she knows she is not allowed to go near that, she makes herself limp if she does not want to go some place so I have to pick her up and carry her.Giving her a bath and washing her hair is a nightmare.   I have said things like if you do not take that out of your mouth I am going to take it off of you.  She will put whatever it is in her mouth again and then come hand it to me.  As if to say so what, I will do what I want to do.  I have tried time outs until I am blue in the face.  She will say "no time mama" but will sit there for a few minutes until I let her get up and then she goes right back to doing whatever it is she got in trouble for in the first place.  Please any advice I want my good little girl back???????

by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 8:30 PM
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Replies (1-7):
MommaOfT21Girl
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 6:08 AM

i have almost the exact same problem, but my girl isnt quite 2. hopefully someone can offer us some tips.  i just had another baby, and lauren is almost too much for one person to handle since avery was born.

                           
My t21 girl!                                 My Miracle Girl!

MomJJTwins
by Member on Aug. 13, 2009 at 2:42 PM

I think it is great that she has the mental capacity to be naughty. This is a good thing in some ways.  No advice here. I have 2  two-year olds.  I just pray for naptime!

AuntGranny
by Group Owner on Aug. 17, 2009 at 11:47 AM

Terrible Two's?  Watch out for 3!  Actually every child goes through this stage.  They do grow up and usually out of the terrible stage eventually.  You just gotta love them! (Not necessarily like them all the time!)

jjamom
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2009 at 9:54 AM

Yep!  Carol said it perfectly.  Just be firm and consistent, and keep her out of danger and she really will grow out of it (especially if you don't give in)!

I also agree with the other Mom who said that it's great that she has the mental capacity to do some of the things she's doing, ever frustrating that it is for you right now!  Hang in there. 

Quoting AuntGranny:

Terrible Two's?  Watch out for 3!  Actually every child goes through this stage.  They do grow up and usually out of the terrible stage eventually.  You just gotta love them! (Not necessarily like them all the time!)


owenmom
by Member on Aug. 19, 2009 at 7:35 AM

I would have to agree with everyone else. But watch out for 3, i call them horrible. The everything is mine and no. Stay consistent my son does the same thing get that out of your mouth he will put it in there further and then take it out. So from us saying it so much and then taking stuff away from him, know when we say no mouth he does it. It will get better just keep it up. They do learn eventually.

Jen mom to Owen

VeronicaTex
by on Aug. 19, 2009 at 3:45 PM

Oh, honey.  Wait until they're 16!!!!!!!  Mine was a head banger  (on the wooden floor) from way back.(She started doing stuff in NICU.  She ripped out her IV  twice when she was only several days old and  they finally had to tape it to her head out of her reach!!!!!!! ) She is now 16 and bangs her head with her hands frequently because she doesn't get her way and throws MY stuff.  I'm trying the "taking it moment by moment" approach: keeping CALM, using humor, tending  to her needs and richly rewarding her with positive reinforcements like praise and behavior chart rewards (like she has to get 5 smiley faces-I draw them to look like her -and when she does we go for a hamburger.)   This is working quite well and for the time being I'm using this for BAD KITCHEN BEHAVIOR.  

She's been a holy terror for 2 days.  (I really feel for her she has bad allergies-I've given her a tablespoon of honey, Children's Tylenol and we'll get a shower in a bit and go out for her beloved hamburger!!!!.)  A little connected story-she totally dressed herself yesterday:   shirt, pants, I guess underwear(she stripped after throwing a temper tantrum, then got back into her oversized T-shirt.), socks and wanted help with her shoes.  She wanted to go out for a hamburger and too bad I was feeling too lousy but I richly complimented her for dressing herself and promised her we would go tomorrow for hamburgers.

If I could offer any advice-start early and be consistent-I wish I had done this when she was really young . Now that I'm a SAHM (I used to be a teacher) I can really devote lots of time to redirecting her. I believe this is a good thing that she is testing me(she does her stuff then looks at me to see how I'm going to react). DON"T GET ME WRONG . I hate this but remind myself of something I read long time ago:remember  that Down Syndrome children will do everything that others will-except a little later.

Her doctor says I'm probably getting the worst of her bad behavior because I'm her "slave". But little by little I'm getting my sweet Gracie back-just in time for school to start.

Hope this was of help, even for the little ones!!!!!! 

lulu03
by New Member on Aug. 19, 2009 at 4:21 PM

This is what I do with my son who just turn two. Since I know that I'm still stronger that him and faster than him I take control of the situation.

Example:

1-He likes to touch the stove, well he is not allowed in the kitchen I block it so he cannot come in. I also sit him on the high chair and strap him down.

2-Since I lost him once at Target. I purchased a harness which is very cute it has a monkey on the back. Now when we go out and he wants to walk I put it on, of course he hates it and fights with me to not put it on but I do and after a few minutes he forgets all about. Is either that or on the stroller strapped down.

3-I have never a problem with baths because when I started giving him baths inside the plastice portable tub I used to put it inside our tub. He got used to being inside the tub. He loves taking a bath which he does everyday. I know parents that struggle with this and I know one that she just puts the child inside the shower with her until she got used to it.

4-Teeth brushing. This is a dfficult one but thanks to a wonderful speech therapist she helped Antonio with oral motor therapy and it did work. I have no problems brushing his teeth everyday. Again I know parents that struggle with this problem this is more of a sensory problem than behavior.

5-Antonio loves to spit and hit the TV. I was having a hard time trying to figure out a way for him to stop doing it. Well what I do now is that I turn the TV off every time he does it. It's working because he is doing it less, once he sees me with the remote he runs and sits down.

Time out doesn't work for our children.

 

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