The past oh 3-4 mths maybe I have gotten away from cooking from scratch, away from daily cleaning, and putting a lot of effort into other things, and I have found myself to be miserable. We are so far behind financially that we have had no oil for the past two weeks, which means cold showers and boiling water on the stove to wash dishes.
I was talking to Hubby tonight, and asked him if me being a wife and mother was enough. He asked if it was enough for me, and honestly it is, but I feel like I should be contributing to getting out back on top. He reminded me that me getting a job outside the home would make me miserable, and I wouldn't be able to do the things that I do now, like homeschooling and cleaning, and cooking, and baking, and sewing etc.
I decided I was going to take this year (my 35th) to really figure out what makes me happiest, and today I spent the whole day in the kitchen, organizing, cleaning etc. I felt great! Better then I have in weeks!
So I am resolving to get back to being a housewife, which was the only thing I really wanted to be when I grew up!
Tracy ~
Wife to 1 Engineer
Mother of 3 Humans, 3 Dogs, and 2 Cats, and 15 chickens
http://journeyofahousewife.blogspot.com
i know how you feel. my husband don't want me working outside the home. because my health goes down i stay so stressed that i don't eat, i cry at work about missing out on things with the kids. i'm more likely to start back to smoking. he keeps wanting me to wait to go back and see if he can get a job or disability or some kind of money coming in.
i have started making a list of things to do. but it's a list for me and the kids. hubby has a seperate to do list.
It has taken me close to 11 years to be the wife I've always wanted to be. Ever since I was a teenager I wanted to be a housewife. I wanted a husband to be the king of the house. I never had that and never knew what I was missing until I became completely submissive to my husband over a month ago. Life couldn't be better! I do have times submitting, but I love submitting, I love homeschooling, I love gettings things nice and clean before hubby gets home. It's an awesome feeling!
We all go thru those phases where instead finding what works, we feel sorry for ourselves!! It's hormones mostly lol, but we also come around and get back to it. I know I have done this 'cycle' many times.. I can't imagine working outside the home and missing out on my kids and schooling and leaving it to someone else. But sometimes I just sit down and wonder how I got here! I'm glad you got back into what you love, it is truly worth it!
Must be something going around. I too have gotten off my routines. I clean better when hubby is out of the hosue, and with him being unemployed recently I end up hanging out with him instead. Today he went to Lowes and I managed to overhaul the kitchen AND livingroom! I felt so much better. He used his outing to get stuff to make our indoor veggie garden hydroponic system. He, too, felt so much better! Because of prolonged unemployment I have gotten a part time job to supplement his unemployment payments, but only because he can be home with the kids.
We won't do daycare for the toddlers. We're even considering homeschooling our oldest who's 9. He's a straight A student eligible for the gifted program when he starts 4th grade, but we've just started learning about the "conditioning" they're using in the school system. We're in a small town and are shielded from the bulk of it, but the older he gets the harder it will be for him to seperate what the rest of the world tells him and what his parents are teaching him.
Sorry a little off topic there, but I completely understand how you feel. I made myself a couple of aprons. Kind of like putting on your "thinking cap"... I have my Suzie Homemaker pretty apron, and my dishtowel gardening apron. We're going to compare the results of hydroponic gardening with old fashioned container gardening. We're renting so a traditional garden isn't allowed. It gets in the way of the mowers :(
If you can stay home and keep doing what you do-then don't change it. My mother was the first generation that worked outside the home in my family..and she did it after my brother and sister were school age. We are planning on having another baby-and I want this to be the LAST year that my younger ones are in public school-it is just really getting out of control with how they try to program the children AND they are barely educating her, so I'm working as much and saving as much as I can right now so next year I can be able to stay home. So..do what you can while you are at home..there are always small things you can do at home, that can even incorporate what you already love to do, that can bring home extra money. Stay in prayer-Needs given up to him will always be provided for...
I'm a little off track on everything! I haven't even had time to get on cafemom for the last few weeks. I am so far behind, it will take all day to catch up! I slacked off on a lot of things, because I have had sick grandparents, family members come visit, and am potty training my son. I'm going to the bathroom with him constantly, so it seems like I can't get anything done...then I just give up. I've also been knitting a lot. My mother in law thinks I am just being lazy, but she forgets that is one of my "jobs". Since I sell my things, I have to have enough to put out there to sell. So yeah, it is a hobby, but I'm not just sitting on my tushie having fun! I really need to get my head screwed back on, buckle down, and make myself be productive again.
Its July, and that means one thing! Christmas in July at 13 Plum Knitting! New items and sales every day!
We got way off on our bills around here! I read my last reply and I still feel the same, but life has changed around me. My hubby got laid off in July and is on unemployment and there are no jobs around here.. So he is home and doesn't make enough to cover our bills each month. It was also very sudden so we got behind. So now my SIL and her 3 kids and hubby live with us, and I got a job outside the home. I clean buildings, so it's evening. I homeschool during the day, work at night and cram my sewing in there too. I feel like I am behind most days, but I am getting used to that feeling. Hubby has taken over the home chores, and I've had to let all that go too. He does it different, doesn't stress about the same things not being done as me (I hate smudges on the fridge, etc).
BUT I know that right now, this is where God wants us, it's not what I ever had in mind, but the alternative is worse.. We've been there and I don't want to go back. God really has helped me have peace over how things are now. We are almost 100% caught up again, which will be a huge relief. We aren't sure where hubby will be when his UI runs out, but we aren't there yet!
I've come to realize even more that the things I stressed over before, where nothing in comparison to missing my kids all day.. or all evening rather.. I don't get to send them to bed, and I sleep later in the morning.. but it's working out somehow for now.
trying new things to keep cool
- AutumnDreamer
on Jun. 13, 2011 at 11:22 PM