How to handle people who feel the need to say something

[bekalynne440]

I have to admit I like to recieve acalades and for others to think well of me.  Its been a challenge to change things (such as wearing skirts now, keeping my hair long, etc) that I know people may look down upon.  I have to remind myself that I don't do it for them, but am following my own God given convictions.

It still bothers me, though, too hear things said at times.  And its really mostly from my family.  Stangers will sometimes stair, but it really doesn't bother me.  We are visiting my folks right now and my mom has said a few things.

She made it a point to say I may not always choose to wear skirts all the time.  I may change my mind down the road.  I just don't see the point in having to say that.  Its like she thinks this is a "phase" or something.  She also said "Well, as long as you don't think all women should wear skirts, because I won't."  I believe God gives people different convictions according to what will help their relationship with Him.  While I may believe all women wearing mostly skirts would be ideal, I don't think that's what God asks of all women.  I told my mom I believe its only what God has convicted me of, not a conviction He gives everyone.  She then tried to correct me with "Its not a conviction from God, its a personal choice."  I sat there biting my tounge.  I knew if I said anything it would only create an argument.

I hear each time I visit my family (they live 10 hours away, so not too often) from my sister how I should cut my hair and it has no "style" when its long.  My mom usually doesn't say much about it, but she is nervous about the idea of us homeschooling (I've already started researching and preparing myself and our oldest is only 2.5).  For a while my mom kept trying to push a college degree on me (I went to an unnacredited Bible school, but don't have a degree from an accredited college).  Why do I need a degree if I want to be a SAHM?  It seems like too much of a waste of time and money for a "just in case" back up plan to me.

How do YOU handle others' critisisms?  Do you have the issue of being more concervative than the rest of your family?

[COGMOMJen]

I used to receive alot more criticism than I do now.  Time does help with it, they see you stand no matter what, where and when and you earn their respect.  We homeschool, we wear dresses, we don't perm or cut our hair, we do as much as we can from scratch, we are very much on the conservative side of life.  My dad raised us this way, and he got a LOT of grief from the rest of his family.  My Aunt and Grandma tried to sway me from it when I was first married but she soon found out that, I wasn't after their approval.  Yes it was hard and I had to remind myself many times that my life was God's not theirs.  But I have found that when you follow what God shows you, he gives you peace to deal with the criticism.  Sometimes, well many, times I find myself just saying, "This is the choice I made" and walk away.   If they really want to know why I do what I do, they know they can ask, and I will talk, but I refuse to argue with them. 

SO, keep you chin up, the view is much better up there..  Stand where God puts you and you will have peace..  It can take years to earn their respect but mere seconds to loose it.

[Saira222]

The worst one (ok... one of the worst. There are a lot to choose from LOL) is when my husband and I started trying to live a better life. My father told me I was just following some meal ticket blindly like a puppy dog and that he KNOWS me and PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE. Yeah... because I'm going to remain a misguided 17 year old for the rest of my life.

I just have to remind myself that his is not the approval I strive for any longer. His approval always left me with a lits of things I needed to do / change / get. Yeah, he likes to push people's buttons, and he knows personal comments are the way to get me. I have just finally convinced myself that, although he is my father, I'm a 30 year old (soon to be 30-something) married mother of soon-to-be four children. I love him, but his oppinion doesn't affect our lives. It's so sad, too. They're only 30-45 minutes away, but I talk to or see my dad maybe once every three or four months.

[oldfashionSAHM]

i look at things like this. people ALWAYS have to have something to talk about. I've heard stuff for years about how many kids we have. even been told several times that i better not be pregnant . people will set the and drill me when they find out that i'm a stay home mom and prefer to be one. even when i go through my periods of skirt wearsing i hear stuff all the time. i wear skirts a lot in the summer. when i make any clothing for me or the kids it's a skirt. 

But people always have to have something to talk about. I just pretty much stay to myself. as long as my family is happy it don't really matter. 

when it comes to my mom, she will never be happy. and no matter what i do or say she will always have something negetive to say about anything i do.