Life > February 10, 2006
Modern day women lack modesty
Passionate Purity
Last time, we talked about chivalry’s death, or at least comatose state. This time, we’ll look at what I believe to be the female side of the coin — modesty. If my last article ticked you off, prepare to be livid.
If men have forgotten what manhood is and have started confusing it with boorish behavior, then women have forgotten what femininity is.
Women have started claiming independence and freedom from men by using both our sexuality and even our hearts as weapons or controlling mechanisms.
The word “modesty” usually brings clothing-issues to mind, but the principle of modesty extends far beyond attire. That said, the clothing issue can unlock the entire concept if we are willing to take it seriously.
One thing I will never understand is why more women aren’t absolutely incensed by pornography.
We all know it objectifies women, turning us into a commodity. It fools guys into thinking that women exist to supply pleasure at any time and in any way they want.
Pornography also fosters habits based on that philosophy of sex.
Frankly, we women are whole people — people with hearts and the capacity for love.
We carry baggage, we have issues and bad hair days, and we struggle occasionally with halitosis. We aren’t perfect, and we certainly do not exist solely for the sexual satisfaction of men.
Why bring this up? Because I believe that, in many ways, what women do to men through immodesty is parallel to this.
Women dress like skanks because we have an inkling of what it does to men. We crave the attention that comes with cleavage and miniskirts. We want to be desired, and this often feels like an easy way to elicit such desire, present even in just the look a man gets in his eyes.
Why is this bad? It turns men into a means to an end and reduces them to their sexuality.
It also promises something that we frequently don’t intend to deliver. I’m sure you’ve guessed that I’m not exactly a fan of premarital sexual activity, but I think this principle applies to any woman not interested in having sex with every straight man on campus.
By wearing tiny bikinis, super-short shorts, midriff-baring tops and skin-tight jeans, we are inviting the male eye to gaze at what it can see and the male mind to imagine what it does not see. How is that substantially different from porn?
Where has our mystery gone, ladies? No wonder men aren’t interested in marriage anymore — they can have it all with no strings attached.
Even though that is hardly functional, healthy or even safe for their souls — no more then it is for us women — it’s easy. It feels fun in the moment. What the heck are we doing?
Even if we are not sexually involved, our clothing can suggest the same philosophy — you can have me without being responsible. You can take what you want and walk away.
That’s like ripping apart a dollar bill - at the end all you get is two pieces, neither of which can do what they were supposed to do in the first place. Something is lost. Two halves of a dollar bill are less than a whole.
So sex separated from marriage — from commitment, from permanence, from character and even from real life — can’t do what it was meant to do. Both sex and marriage are cheapened when they are separated.
Modesty applies broadly, as I said before. Not only does a modest woman maintain the mystery of her body, but also of her heart. She realizes that not just any man should have rights to her.
As Wendy Shalit writes in A Return to Modesty, modesty protects women from judgment. The only man to look on her in naked vulnerability is the one who is sworn to love and accept her no matter what he sees. That is the beauty of marriage — openness in security.
Women, it is good to want to be wanted for all that you are, and to want that wanting to last forever. Use that desire to foster in your heart an appreciation for modesty.
It requires more of men — it makes them men instead of servants of sexual instinct and whim. It requires more of us — it makes us women instead of tramps and whores.
I am not suggesting that we all wear jumpers and bulky sweaters, and nor am I suggesting that we not be friends with men. But for crying out loud, are you precious? Is it possible that you are worth something? Act like it.
Don’t give away what ought to be bought with the price of commitment and love. Waterford crystal would be worth nothing if they handed it out to anyone who asked.
If you hand yourself out so cavalierly, why should you expect the economy to treat you any differently?
i am a proverbs 31, biblical, frugal living, attachment parenting, natural healing, modest sewing, God assisted, stay at home, homemaker with a large family and very old fashion views.
links go to several of my favorite groups if you want to check them out.
You know modesty is so non existing in Florida Especially.
Little girls go to our church wearing short so short that you can see their BUTT CHEEKS !!!!!
I am NOT JOKING. The teenagers wear just as bad OR WORSE. SOme of the women there are just as bad wearing spaghetti strap shirts with their BRA STRAPS showing IN CHURCH !!!!!
I cannot believe it !
I also think modesty is so much more than the way we dress but also in the way we speak. My Dad always told me that ONLY TRASHY WOMEN CURSE !!!! My Mom felt the same. I hate to hear a woman cursing. A TRUE LADY NEVER SHOULD & SHE NEVER WOULD !!!!
Quoting incheck4real:You know modesty is so non existing in Florida Especially.
Little girls go to our church wearing short so short that you can see their BUTT CHEEKS !!!!!
I am NOT JOKING. The teenagers wear just as bad OR WORSE. SOme of the women there are just as bad wearing spaghetti strap shirts with their BRA STRAPS showing IN CHURCH !!!!!
I cannot believe it !
I also think modesty is so much more than the way we dress but also in the way we speak. My Dad always told me that ONLY TRASHY WOMEN CURSE !!!! My Mom felt the same. I hate to hear a woman cursing. A TRUE LADY NEVER SHOULD & SHE NEVER WOULD !!!!
i use to have a really bad habit of that. my brother would say i was worse then a sailor. my husband didn't hardly curse when we got together. he told me was worse them him, but then he would turn around and brag about it to his friend. i'm not as bad now. and trying to get better. but like smoking it's a hard habit to stop.
i am a proverbs 31, biblical, frugal living, attachment parenting, natural healing, modest sewing, God assisted, stay at home, homemaker with a large family and very old fashion views.
links go to several of my favorite groups if you want to check them out.
It's not only the young girls who dress that way, I've seen women with their breast and their belly's out. Yuk. In church. Growing up I wasn't allowed to even wear pants to church never mind jeans or shorts. I've stopped wearing pants all together and feel like I get more respect from people.
As for cursing, I used to swear like a sailor also. Now I try hard not to so I don't have to repent later.
Blessings,
Le-Teisha
Quoting incheck4real:
You know modesty is so non existing in Florida Especially.
Little girls go to our church wearing short so short that you can see their BUTT CHEEKS !!!!!
I am NOT JOKING. The teenagers wear just as bad OR WORSE. SOme of the women there are just as bad wearing spaghetti strap shirts with their BRA STRAPS showing IN CHURCH !!!!!
I cannot believe it !
I also think modesty is so much more than the way we dress but also in the way we speak. My Dad always told me that ONLY TRASHY WOMEN CURSE !!!! My Mom felt the same. I hate to hear a woman cursing. A TRUE LADY NEVER SHOULD & SHE NEVER WOULD !!!!
I agree with you, modesty means so much more then dress also additude..
It used to be that the winter (I live in MI) was a reprieve from the barely there clothing, but *sigh* now there is a movement of kids and parents that don't even dress for the weather. I seen an article on how parents "pick their battles" and dressing warm in the winter is one they choose to not fight. I used to only call summer the flesh feasting time. ugh.. I don't want to see any cracks, up front or behind!!
My beef with the modesty issues is that as soon as your daughter hits size 7-the whole idea of kids clothes go out the window..most stores sell stuff that makes them look like pint sized hoochies..seriously-but society overall doesn't want kids to act like kids..we force so much on them at such young ages..from sex to accpetance of deviant behaviors to cartoons that are so distasteful and disrespectful..it is hardly a wonder that the world is in the shape it is..And whomever thought that pants hanging off your behind and your bra straps showing were good ideas should be slapped..but I just cannot get over how we've permitted the lowest point of socieity to rule it...
This post is wonderful! Thank you for bringing this up. Truth be known, even the most "spiritual male" has problems with lustful thoughts when he sees a female in enticing clothes. Men are men. They are visual beings. This is how God made them; not to be sick headed, but to enjoy the blessing of a wife.
Let's all be mindful each day as we dress to ask ourselves if what we are wearing draws attention to our bodies or to a chaste, meek and gentle spirit. (Which will lead others to thoughts of the Lord.)
I read once where the modesty of a woman and her daughters in a public setting can actually cause others to want to come talk to you and perhaps ask what it is you believe. It is a great way to share your faith in Christ with others!
Quoting MPmommy05:
My beef with the modesty issues is that as soon as your daughter hits size 7-the whole idea of kids clothes go out the window..most stores sell stuff that makes them look like pint sized hoochies..seriously-but society overall doesn't want kids to act like kids..we force so much on them at such young ages..from sex to accpetance of deviant behaviors to cartoons that are so distasteful and disrespectful..it is hardly a wonder that the world is in the shape it is..And whomever thought that pants hanging off your behind and your bra straps showing were good ideas should be slapped..but I just cannot get over how we've permitted the lowest point of socieity to rule it...
i'm fighting that battle with 2 of mine now. i'm not to strick in our house because in the summer i will walk around in a bathing suit because i have the temp turned up to keep the bill down. and the girls usually wear mid-thigh shorts and speghetti strap shirts. but if anyone is coming over or once we hit the doors to go somewhere the clothes change..
but i have one that's almost in jr.s clothes and one closely behind her. and they try and find the skimpest things they can find.
Come check out my groups
Quoting Ruthmom802:
I read once where the modesty of a woman and her daughters in a public setting can actually cause others to want to come talk to you
i've heard that before.
Come check out my groups
trying new things to keep cool
- mommaseyes
on Jun. 19, 2009 at 1:29 PM