stepmom of 2 teen girls with 2 children of my own looking for advice
Sheesh where to start
i have been married for 7 years and am SM to two teen SD 15/16 BM to 2 Children of my own now 4/5.
When i first met my husb the girls and i got along great and while their mother is a psychotic bitch we got along pretty well at first too. Trouble started when BM started talking smack about me to mutual friends. After hearing this, I no longer have any interaction w her at all. DH does not communicate with BM rather lets the 15 yr old do all arranging of pick up and drop off via cell phone.
My SD are disrespectful and resentful of my kids and while i do understand where they are coming from I cannot allow it in my home (SD /16 has called me a "fat fu%*ing c*#t in front of my husb) he called her mother and she came to get her now saying how she insists kids are respectful. I have it on good authority they refer to us as "douchbags" and the mother "likes" it on facebook. The 15 year old SD has txted me that she wishes me dead and that she hopes her father cheats on me the way he did her mother and that they hate me with all their hearts, they refer to me as a "dumb bitch".
It seems to me that while the BM needed me to mind her children for free things were good, now that the girls are older and dont need childcare all bets off. I could regal you with the custody issues and tax exemption issues but that could get lengthy. At this time i am insisting on an apology before they enter my home and havent spoken to them in almost a year. They regularly visit with their grandmother and this is where my husband gets to see them (because he is backing me up in insisting on a apology
I am sad for my husband and wish things could be different for his sake i have really stopped caring what the girls think of me but it is a completely dysfunctional household with the girls not coming for regular visits and not interacting with their younger brother and sister at all.
My sister seems to think a peace offering on my part will do the trick? what do i do BUY them something? i have always taken the high road i believe that I have the right to be respected and treated with the kind of treatment you give a teacher. I as a SM have no authority to dicipline or offer medical attention. I see where i made my initial mistake in taking these girls into my home, clothing and feeding them and generally taking over for DH in all aspects of raising them while they were with us. But where to go from here is my question! thanks for listening!