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Welcome aboard - Let's get aquainted

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 5:57 PM
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My name is Luann and I live in Texas.  It was just one year ago that my husband and I moved here from Michigan.  DH accepted a position with a new company that moved us here.

I have 2 daughters and 3 step-children.  All our children and grands are now far away from us. 

Both my daughters and my step daughter gifted hubby and I with new grandbabies last summer.  Boy, was it hard being far away from them and not there to witness the births (or welcoming the newly borns to the world).  

Last October I met our June baby for the first time.  Oh, how sweet it was.  In April, hubby and I met his daughter's granddaughter for the first time, and just last week I was able to meet my youngest daughter's new baby (now 9 months old).  I dislike being so far away from any of the grandkids. 

We have a total of 9 grandbabies.  The other grands range in ages 12 to 7. 

How do you handle/maintain a healthy relationship with your far away grands?

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 5:57 PM
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by New Member on Jul. 6, 2009 at 7:27 PM

That's what I want to know too, so I came here looking for answers.  I will be a 1st time grandma and my dd lives 600 miles :(

by Group Owner on Jul. 10, 2009 at 6:45 AM

Hi, and welcome!  You are the first new member!

I'm hoping grandparents with 'experience' in long distance grandparenting will join.

My DD lived with me while she was preggers. So Ali knows my voice.  She was born in MI (I'm in TX) and still even at 9 months old knows my voice.   As silly as it may sound will you DD put the phone up to her belly and you could talk to the baby?

I visited my DD a couple weeks ago, meeting Ali for the first time.  Yes, she was shy of me at first  BUT when I talked and said, "Hello Baby Girl" as I always did,  she KNEW who I/my voice was and got all smiley. 


by Member on Jul. 12, 2009 at 7:37 AM

Hi, I'm new to the group as you already know.  I have 11 grandchildren ages 6 months to 13 years.  My grandchildren are in MO & KS.  I lived in KS when I first became a grandma.  I have no contact with my oldest grandchild, problems between her mom & my son caused that but I do get to see pictures of her on myspace.  My son has 4 more children that I have been involved with but the last 2 were born after I moved to the bootheel of MO.  I've been close to his oldest son, he comes to visit over the summer & we talk on the phone.  He has a different mom then the others so when my son gets mad & stops talking to me I still get to see & talk to Cody.  Right now my son has cut me out of his life so I don't have contact with his younger 3, ages 12, 4 & 1.  My 2nd son is divorced from the mother of his 2 children.  His son died at 17 months & we haven't seen his daughter in 6 years.  Her mom has just recently allowed me to write to her.  My granddaughter writes me & sends me pictures.  This is new & I am very thankful.  I have a grandson that is 8 months that lives 60 miles away but I only get to see him about every other week.  His dad works odd nights so he sleeps days.  Two of my other grandchildren live just 10 miles from me but I only see them if I babysit.  They are 6 months & 18 months so I really don't like to babysit that often.  I just can't handle them for long periods.  They are screams & spoiled beyond enjoyment, mostly the 18 month old.  I can't stand to visit the kids with their mom around cause she doesn't discipline them at all.  I don't feel I should have to do it when she is around.  Their dad has no contact with us even though he is still married to our daughter.  My 2 1/2 year old granddaughter lives with her parents who live with us.  They live upstairs & we live downstairs.  I think I have covered all of them.

This is the 3rd marriage for both me & my hubby.  I have divorced twice & he divorced his first wife & his 2nd wife passed away.  We have been married for almost 4 years.  I gave birth to 3 sons.  He adopted 2 girls & a boy.  So we have 4 sons & 2 daughters.  One of my sons is married to his daughter.  So we are really a blended family. 

I try to write or call my grandkids atleast once a month.  My older ones come stay with us for a week or two in the summer usually.  But not this year cause of my mom's death & then we lost 2 of our 4 incomes.  So no traveling for us this year.

Oh, my name is Sarah but some call me Kati.  I answer to both.  I also answer to mom or grandma anytime I hear it, even when it isn't me that the person is talking to. lol  I am 52 years old & live in the country down in the bootheel of MO.  I was born here & moved back about 6 years ago.  I love it here.  I lived in Kansas City, KS for 43 years.  But it never really felt like home.  I spent my summers down here on my aunt & uncle's farm. 

by Group Owner on Jul. 12, 2009 at 2:06 PM

Welcome to the board Sarah/Kati.

I had a reply all typed and it went 'Poof".  arghhhh

I hope one day you will be able to have full contact with all your grands.  I'm not sure what I would do in the same situation.

Hubby's daughter had a baby at 15 years old, (just turned 15) and was under much pressure by her mother to give the baby up for adoption to her and her new husband! So at 2 weeks old the baby was adopted by his other grandmother and stepgrandpa.  The boy is very well loved so i am grateful for that.  Hubby and I don't have contact with him, however.  On rare occassions we see him (at weddings or birthdays when we're all together).  It's a tough situation but one day Kase will know the truth.  His 'mom' won't let us see him because she's afraid we'll tell him that truth.  That's just so wrong! 

I just had a thought.  For the grands we don't have contact with we could make a 'Journal" for them.  One day they will be old enough to understand we had no control over not being a part of their life.   Maybe  a scrapbook type?

Please know that I work 8-5 weekdays.  I don't surf the net while at work.  So if I don't show up here in a timely manner you will know why.

Have a great rest of the weekend,



by Member on Jul. 13, 2009 at 6:22 AM

I had it when that happens (lost post).  You would think that as adults we would realize that the truth will come out sooner or later & it's always best for it to come from the closest family member.  I gave birth to 3 boys & all 3 have different dads.  I tried to keep my oldest son from finding out that I wasn't married to his dad & keep him thinking my 1st husband was his dad.  My stepmom got mad at me & threatened to tell him the truth so I told him first.  I should have just told him from the beginning but I was trying to protect him from his bio dad.  He never claimed him & always said he wasn't his.  My son did go looking for him, which wasn't hard cause I have always known how to get in touch with him.  He was so heartbroken cause he was told "you aren't my son' & the man refused to even met him.  What's bad is that my son looks just like he did in high school.  My grandchildren have been told the truth & know that I am here.  I do plan on meeting them someday.  Since my first born grandchild's mom is on myspace & reads my blogs, I think maybe she will open up more.  She does post blogs about my granddaughter & posts pictures.  So I am getting to know her through that.  My other granddaughter & I are writing so I am hoping that one day her mom will allow a visit.  As for my son & his wife, they will get over it sooner or later, they always do.  This is the longest it's been but I'm sure it won't last forever.  Something will happen & my son will need his mommy, I think.  The bad thing is that I've heard through the grapevine that his wife wants another baby then she is divorcing him.  She told me 6 months ago that she was divorcing him if he doesn't find a job by May.  As far as I know, he hasn't found one.  I love my son but he isn't much on job hunting.  He is very laid back about doing that.  I worry about that.  I worry about them getting divorced & me not being there for him.  I'm sure he will start talking to me again if that happens.  They step on our toes as children & on our hearts as adults.  The way I feel about it all is that a child needs lots of love regardless of how we feel about a person.  If that person loves them then it is a crying shame that the child can't have that person in his life.  We should be able to look beyond our feelings & allow our children to be loved by all relatives.

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