I know that there are other recovering addict groups on cafemom, and I joined them, but whenever I made a post I would go check the next day or even the day after and there were no replies. The posts on the front page were still from the month previous. I want an ACTIVE group. Talking makes it easier for me to stay clean...to have support and understanding from other people...not just talking to myself. So,we will have daily polls and posts and chats..and I will do my very best to be a very active group.
My name is Rachel. I am 24 and mom of 2 girls. I was addicted to heroin pretty bad for a little over a year..and recreational use for 4 years before that. I've used every drug atleast once except for crack and mushrooms. I was given up for adoption when I was 6 months old..my real mom was only 13. I was adopted by an older couple, 35 & 37..and my life was okay with them. When I was 6 my adopted mom came down with MS (multiple sclerosis) and she became very angry after that. I used to think finding my real mom would fix everything. When I turned 18 we hired a P.I. to find my mom..she was living in NY. I went up to meet her..and her next door neighbors had a son..who is now my husband. At the time he was a drug dealer..and I think the shock of finding out what my mom was really like after expecting her to be something else for all those years sent me over the edge so to speak..and I started using. We got married after 3 months of knowing each other, and the drug use was only recreational for the first 4 years of our marriage. The last year hubbs got a new job and he was working at night..so he wasn't around when i was home...so I started using ALOT more while he was gone...slowly bankrupting us..until one day I had to tell him there was no money left...I had spent it all. So we called my parents and told them what was going on...and decided that they would watch our daughter while we went to rehab..so we sold what we could, got enough to last us until we got to TX, I took our daughter and flew down and he drove 1 car full of the stuff we really needed down. We went to an outpatient rehab center and that was a year ago this week. We have been on Suboxone for a year now...and honestly I don't think I ever could have quit without it. We stayed with my parents for 2 months and then got our own place. 2-3 weeks after we got here we found out I was pregnant again...we were worried about her health due to the drug use..but she is 5 months old now and perfectly healthy. My hubbs found a job doing the same thing he was doing making twice as much money, and we have the nicest apartment we've ever had..we actually have money in savings and we just bought a second car. It's like after we got clean our lives turned around dramatically. Don't get me wrong, I still have bad days...and I really want to get off the Suboxone...because it's becoming a problem for me, but for the most part we are doing really well, and are very happy with the way our lives are going. It helps to talk about it when you have bad days and even good days, and that's all I want. So that is my story...and I will be here for anyone who needs it. I want this to be a VERY open group..no bashing for relapsing, and no embarrasment for anything you've done. I did some stupid shit for drugs before, but it's all in the past. So welcome..and I look forward to talking with all of you.