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irritated

Posted by on Aug. 9, 2009 at 3:33 PM
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I am so irritated right now, my DH is being super pissy lately.  I know its because we decreased our methadone dose by 10 mg, usually he is really patient esp with the girls, but geez.  Example of this is yesterday the baby (4yrs) spilled his glass of tea all over his night stand, and he all but lost it.  Not at her, because she hauled ass in the bathroom to get a towel but he threw the wet remote and was like this is bullshit,,,blah blah. I said you need to stop, she is a baby and it was an accident. So the girls and I put on our socks and tennies and went on a walk (we walked a block to their elem school, they played I walked and did lunges and am super sore).  Just now I said hey honey, he yelled WHAT? well excuse me mr. who cant multi task and do two things at once.  I am not feeling 100% either, its hard decreasing your dose, even by 10mg but I do other things to control it.  Like if I catch myself getting irritated with the kids I find something to laugh with them about so I dont yell.  Well I know we aren't all perfect and he tries his best...just as the rest of us do-one day at a time.

Tracie - "Fans Of Soldiers Angels" Group Owner

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by on Aug. 9, 2009 at 3:33 PM
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Replies (1-5):
jasmin143
by Member on Aug. 18, 2009 at 11:18 AM

Its not easy decreasing your dose when you have young children to take care of. I know, my daughter is 5 and she keeps me very busy. I try not to take it out on her cause its not her fault. Im not feeling good today I just went down 10 yesterday, she wants to go out to the park and its the last thing I feel like doing. Im gonna force myself to take her in a little while. Your husband needs to understand your goin through the same thing its hard for u also.

sydjademom24
by Group Owner on Aug. 18, 2009 at 12:04 PM

I can definatly relate...I just came here to make a post about how frustrated I am with my hubby right now...lol...looks like you beat me to it! The past 3 days he has been such a jerk! And I know it's because he's stressed out about work...they just cleaned house and fired like 7 or 8 people...he wasn't one of them...and he even got a raise...a big one! And then they cut down to 40 hours a week verses the 50 - 55 he was working...and our lease is up here in September, so we need to move so he's trying to save up money for that...and his hours got cut...hes spending all of his free time working on that car...and picking at me...pick...pick...pick...bitch..bitch...bitch..slam things around..grumble under his breath..call me names..pick..pick...pick...bitch...bitch...bitch. That's been the past 3 days mabey 4 now...over STUPID shit too! Over me not walking fast enough to the store when he was thirsty while we were doing laundry...because there was a dirty pan in the oven (my dishwasher gets full very quickly, so I stick the big pan that I can't fit in the oven till next time I run the dishwasher) he starts going off about being dirty white trash and what the F do you do all day...why isn't the laundry folded and blah blah blah. Then this morning I wake up at 6:20 to his alarm going off...so I wake him and roll over...and he procedes to get up and start bangin shit around and mumbling under his breath...and he came over closer to me at one point and thought I was sleeping and said "you don't hear shit do you?" "No, of course you don't!" so he was running his mouth at me while he thought I was sleeping.. like it was my fault I didn't hear his alarm sooner and wake him up on time!! I missed the part where it was my job to wake you up for work...obviously if 2 alrams blaring 2 feet away from your head isn't waking you up...then theres a problem!! Then finally after about 5 mins. of him banging shit around I got up and went to the bathroom..and at that point I had, had enough!! So I started bitching at him for trying to put it off on me...while he thought i was sleeping none the less....REALLY...your gonna run your mouth at someone while they're sleeping? Your gonna start throwing shit around while i'm still sleeping...since your up and your mad...everyone else has to be up too...just so it's fair...misery loves company right? And he mouthed off some more and walked out the door...so whatever!! This started on Friday when I went out and spent $25 at the store on stuff for the kids...NOTHING for me! HE exploded and said why..when we are going to the store later tonight is it necessary for you to go to the store right then? And I guess it's not really necessary, but we like taking walks and we were bored and I had to walk across the street and get mike another carton of ciggs..so I stopped at walmart too and got some juice boxes and fruit and stuff...he would have been buying this stuff later at the store when we went grocery shopping anyways.. so I didn't think $25 dollars was a BIG deal...and he just will NOT let it go..ALL weekend he's been picking and bitching about everything he can possibly pick and bitch about. I ask him EVERY time b4 I walk out the door if it's ok if I go hang out at my girlfriends house for a little bit...I take the baby too...so I'm not leaving him alone with both kids....heaven forbid! And he says "that's fine just don't be gone for an hour!" And it is usually about 45 mins, but he's been bitching at me about being over there too much and that's the reason why shit aint getting done around the house....mind you..this past weekend has been that time of the month for me too...and he says I understand..i'll cut you a break. He left me alone for 1 day..and then picked and bitched all day until it came night time and he knew he was gonna want something in a few hours...then he started being nice...and I rubbed his back and gave him the other thing he wanted...and then the next morning it was back to picking and bitching...and I just almost couldn't believe it...your gonna play me like that!! Apologize and say you know your being harsh...and be nice until after you get what you want...and then your out again? WTF!! I was so pissed. Yesterday..he grilled outside..and when he got home I wasn't here...but I left him a note saying that I had taken my friend and her daughter to their dentist appointment..cuz they needed a ride...so he went to look for the big pan and it was in the oven..and that started the white trash bitch session..and then later at night after both girls were in bed I was gonna run over to my friends house for half an hour..and I asked him and he said fine...and I came back about 45 mins. later and he went off on me for being gone for too long...about how he wasn't going to wait up for me anymore..and he'll learn to fall asleep without me if that's what I want...so I did a couple things..mabey 5 mins..and went and laid down next to him and of course i'm always the one saying sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off...and after I say that he says so you wanna fool around or what? He uses that as my way to make it up to him...is to just give him what he wants..and he'll be nice..until he doesn't have any use for me anymore...then 24 hrs later hes being nice again cuz he wants something...UGH I GET SO TIRED OF BEING A PIECE OF PROPERTY to him. Last night he was saying "just do what your supposed to do and shutup and their won't be a problem!" I couldnt' believe he said that to me..and he says I don't have any respect for him, and I have no idea what it's like to be him everyday...like his life is so god dang miserable! I am so tired of being made to feel like i've done something wrong...like i'm a piece of shit that never does anything right..I'm lazy..I'm disrespectful....I really do hate to admit this and it's probably really sad that I am saying this...but i'm fully aware that one of these days there is going to be no coming back. I love him to death and I will stay with him as long as possible...but one of these days he's just not gonna come back...he's not gonna say sorry..he's just gonna be done. I have NO faith that we will be married till death. The way he treats me and the way he explodes...one of 2 things will happen...I will get tired of being treated like this and leave...which is unlikely...or he will have one of his explosions and leave and take his stuff and this time he won't come back..or he'll do something that will get him locked up during this said explosion..and i'll be with the girls by myself...and he's said repeatedly that if we ever split up he wouldn't see his girls again cuz it would be too hard...so I know once he does walk away thats it..he's gone. Ugh...I could keep going on and on...but I need to stop. I'm just really frustrated with the repeating cycle in my life of having a few good months...then theres an explosion..he leaves...he calls & apologizes..he comes back...he's still pissy for a few days...then things are good again for a few months..and then the cycle starts again. His temper is ALWAYS there. He said he wouldn't explode anymore if I stayed away from the money...he said this to my face...and then cuz shit wasn't done around the house he went off...and if it wasn't the house it would be something else. Ugh..I'm just so tired of his shit...and I really don't deserve it!! But I take it...I put up with it. So it's on me I guess. Ugghhhhh....vent over.

DallasMavsGirl
by New Member on Aug. 20, 2009 at 8:26 AM

BELIEVE ME I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!

My DH was abusive the whole probably 4 years of our relationship, maybe 5 and we have been together 8 in october.  He has completely changed now, Im not sure why, but i do know the drugs was a huge part of it. You know how you feel when withdrawling...well we would fight and say the meanest things when we were then be all in love when we had pills. UGH, it was horrible. We still argue but not like we used to, people now cant believe it when i tell them how it used to be when they see us now, and friends ask for advice, what am i supposed to say? because we used to have a drug problem is why he changed?  sometimes now i think how mean he is but im sure he feels the same way about me at times too.  i do know that i am so glad that i waited it out and stayed with him, but i dont know if i could do it again!

DallasMavsGirl
by New Member on Aug. 20, 2009 at 8:28 AM

so what mg are you on now?  i hate to admit it but i couldnt handle the decrease, i had to go back up the 10 i was taken down.

jasmin143
by Member on Aug. 20, 2009 at 11:42 AM

I started on 60 now I'm down to 30. I feel like crap, I can see why u went back up. I just want to be done already. I've been on it so long that I cant imagine not being on it. Do u know how low u have to go down b4 u can go into detox, I thought when I get down to 20?

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