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InLaws/Grandparents

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2009 at 12:48 PM
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I have a question after reading a post?  The question is how do you deal with your inlaws when it comes to your children?

Let me share about mine and see if I get the worse inLaw award?  I have three boys that are all bipolar and have been on meds for years along with couseling.  After my husband passed from Luekemia they asked if they could have the boys for a week.  Durning that week they took the boys off their meds and turned me in to Family Services.  Family Services came to my door and then talked to them about their behavior.  They said that they should have charged them with child endagerment for deyning the boys medical attention. 

This is the least of the things that they have done.  Last Christmas (8 years after my husband passed) they asked if the boys could spend Christmas with them.  The older boys are now 21 and 18 and my youngest is 11 now.  Anyway my mother in law slapped the 18 year old and announced that they had ruined their Christmas.  This went down without my pressence and in front of the youngest. 

My question is this, in the last move I lost all the photos I have of their dad and them growing up and the only people I can think of to get some of them replaced from are my In Laws.  Anyone think I should approach them to ask for photos?  If so how do I do this when they deny that their son is gone?  Or that this had no effect on anyone but them?  Somewhere along the line they forgot that these boys lost their father and I lost my husband.  This does not make any sense to me or the kids.  Help with a difficult decission.

by on Oct. 9, 2009 at 12:48 PM
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Replies (1-4):
slumberjul
by on Oct. 10, 2009 at 10:41 AM

I am so truly sorry to hear about your loss, and to make that worse, they are hurting their grandchildren. Yes I would give you the worst in-laws award. I would be spitting mad if my in-laws did that to my kids.

I would ask for Copies of these pictures. The worst they can do is tell you no. As for letting them see my children anymore, it would be the decision of the oldest two if they want to go, but my youngest would NOT be going without me. They have put you thru HELL and it's not right. Not only did you loose your husband, your kids father, but your best friend.
They are allowing themselves to loose the closest part of their son, and they are VOLUNTARILY doing that.

Best of luck to you and your boys.
Julie

just my .02

amy5272
by on Oct. 14, 2009 at 12:39 PM

I, too, am amazingly sorry that this has happened, especially for your boys.  Yes, I would ask them, but I would also have a back-up plan.  Do you or did your husband have other family members (siblings, cousins, etc)?  I think you'd be amazed at how many pics other family members may have (even if you only get a few from each).  You may even want to start with the other family members first and then go to the in-laws to supplement what you get elsewhere.  Good luck.

JoeyJrsMomma
by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 10:02 PM

I thought I had it bad, but I'm sorry to say you win the award for the worst I've heard!


clearhearts
by on Dec. 4, 2009 at 2:00 AM


Quoting JoeyJrsMomma:

I thought I had it bad, but I'm sorry to say you win the award for the worst I've heard!


I agree. I thought my parents were bad with my kid and I had it bad. I would just ask them. If it's important to you for them to know their father then its worth asking them about pics they might have for your kids. Do you think maybe other relatives might have some besides these crazy people? Also, I'm very sorry about your loss.

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