Overwhelmed

[blessedwitluv]

If you all remember I was pregnant found out I have breast cancer. I had surgery in Jan removing both breast, tested positive for BRCA1, I started chemo March 9th while pregnant...

I had my baby on April 5th 2012 I was induced at 37 weeks....he's doing great weighing 7lbs 1oz and 19.25inches =)

I do have a mix of depression and post partum depression. I also found out I need my gallbladder removed and I had some trouble breathing and had ekg done and now I have to get a stress test done on my heart =\ and I'm getting ready to get more chemo.

So much is going on and I feel like I'm falling apart...I just want to enjoy my my children without feeling so much anxiety, fear, pain, etc....

[Specialk3190]

Oh my goodness...let me start with the good! Congratulations on the birth of your most precious baby boy. May God watch over him ,and keep him healthy and strong! What did you name him?

Ok, now on to the tough stuff. To be depressed after what you have just endured is normal. I don't know if you have the ability to get into some counseling, or to get out and find a cancer support group, but you may find it helpful. We definitely find strength and support when we can see and hear how others have weathered their storms.

life can be so intense, and sometimes it seems so unfair and unjust. Why we ask? Why me? I don't know that answer. Sometimes I will joke that I just want to be weak and shallow and self centered, but I really know that I am lucky. Lucky to have been given some really difficult lessons, and I have been able to endure and persevere, and to grow in faith.(sometimes I was kicking and screaming while being dragged through the storm, but ultimately I came through) You will too. You my friend are a Warrior...battle scarred and STRONG! you are a special and powerful creation of God. You have made it through some serious obstacles, and I would imagine you did that with faith, family and friends. You are lucky because you have been blessed with love...how amazing is that.

It is okay to feel bad for yourself allow yourself to cry, and to feel the pain and the sorrow, but then you will have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward putting one foot in front of the other while praying for knowledge of God's will for you, and the POWER, STRENGTH and COURAGE to carry it out. Everything you need to get through the storm is within you. BELIEVE that the storm will pass and the sun will shine again...just for you!

May God Bless You and keep you STRONG,
Kim

[Nora_A]

Kim pretty much said it all, and beautifully. There's not much that I can add to that other than congratulations on the birth of your son.

It's no wonder that you're feeling overwhelmed and depressed. Your circumstances are far from normal, and more than most people are ever expected to endure.

After my second and fourth babies I had postpartum depression that was severe enough to require hospitalization, so in that respect I "get" where you're coming from. A postpartum support group, as well as a cancer support group may be worth looking into. If that's not an option that you're willing to consider, I'm always willing to talk about it and lend my support in any way that I can.

[sanibelblueyezz]

First and foremost, congratulations on the birth of your son.  Oh my, what you have been through.  I can't imagine all you have gone through.  Now wonder you have post partum depression!  You have so much to face.  I hope you have a support system around you.  I just had my 7th round of chemo yesterday and waiting for the effects; usually by this weeeknd.  I usually feel fluish and depressed.  So I understand a little bit of your woes.  Come here and vent all you wish.  We are here for you.  My prayers for you are for some peace with your babies and peace of mind.  God bless.  Marilyn

[JAYEDEEN]

I am the mother of seven children. We had three in diapers at once at one point. I was so tired but I knew that as each day ended I would never have that day back so I try to make each day a day I can look back in and say "yes my mom just had her kidney removed due to cancer, yes my beloved dad died the day before my breast cancer surgery, yes my brother died two weeks later of a heart attack at 48, yes I have major responsibilities, yes people depend on me and yes since I am mom I am not allowed to be sad, sick, depressed, or anything else that will interfere with everyone else's life around me." I then found a dark quiet room, cried my heart out then I picked myself up and told myself "I can do anything. I can get thru anything. And I am stronger than anything that will come my way." That and a prescription for antidepressants did the trick. I still cry nearly everyday for my dad but the rest of it I just dealt with one at a time. Don't let everything overwhelm you. Take one thing at a time and if you only get thru one thing in a day-- you accomplished something. Dont let anyone push you before you are ready to handle something because trust me.. It either takes care of itself or it is still waiting for you. Live each day knowing your blessed with a life filled with people you love and they love you. There is no hurry ....

[elizabeth703]

please dont give up hope .... U r not alone i hav breast cancer for the secound time and im hear to meet new friends ... I will keep u in my thoughts and prayers ....

[JAYEDEEN]

The second time? That is exactly what I am worried about. I had breast cancer in July of 2009. I had a lumpectomy on my left breast and I had abnormal cells removed from the right at the same time. I then had 33 radiation treatments. It's been two years and six months since I had the radiation treatments and I still have the rash I got from the treatments. My older sister got a double mastectomy and my mother had a lumpectomy last summer. I am scheduling to have genetic testing but in the meantime three weeks ago I had a mammogram that I failed then I had an ultrasound that I failed when the radiologist pointed out several areas he felt were cancer. I then had an MRI which lead to a biopsy. My gyn says I have dense breasts and that with these nodulars (nodes) growing in my breast I will have to go thru this extreme testing every 6 months for the rest of my life. Cancer breeds in nodes and the more I get the higher the chances of return cancer. I am very interested in your plan for treatment this time. I know how hard it has been for me just thinking I had a second bout of cancer so my heart goes out to you. I know it is not easy or even something that should be happening. We are suppose to beat cancer and put it behind us. I worry ever day of my life. I wish there were some magic words i could give you but we know there are no words. I am a good listener and will be here for you to vent if need be. May the Good Lord keep you safe during this time and give you peace.