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Breast Cancer Awareness Group Breast Cancer Awareness Group

UPDATE.....Does anyone have young children?

Posted by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 9:06 AM
  • 6 Replies

I decided to have the mastectomy,I'm not keen on radiation. I have a almost4yr old and not sure how he will handle it. I breastfed for 2yrs so even thu he doesn't nurse he still lays on them, especially when he is upset, cuddling like when nursing. He is also autistic and not sure how to explain so he understands. Wondering if anyone has had to explain to a young child? 


UPDATE

had masectomy last wk, feeling ok now. It was so hard when i got home, he wouldnt even come near me, kept yelling at me to go back to hospital, even said 'happy mean day' & poked me w'a toy rake. Now he is the best helper i could ask for, took him two days to get use to things, now he gets my water, very careful when he lays w'me. He is geting better at leting others help him get dressed & things, and so am i accually. It working out best it can and praying that the worst is over. Thank you everyone for the advice & support

by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-6):
LIMom1105
by Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 9:50 AM

I have a 5 year old.  I'm not sure what treatment I will do myself, but I will have to talk to him about it in the not so distant future.  He is autistic also, so I'm not sure yet what the best way is to explain this to him.  

I had an excision this summer, and I did just tell him I went to the doctor, and she had to do something that made my breast very sore.  He understood this, and didn't ask many questions, and was actually pretty careful about how he cuddled then.  We didn't talk to him about why I was having that done, and maybe it's best to just focus on the whats rather than whys at this point.

Does he have a social worker, therapist, or teacher you can talk to about this?  I'm almost thinking of calling my son's school counselor or his old psychologist from preschool to go over this. If they share anything good, I'll let you know.

Hugs!  When are you having your procedure done?

2curly
by Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 4:19 PM

Yes I have two kids, DS is 4 and DD is 2.  DD just turned 2 this month though and I had my bilateral mastectomy back in May.  I really did not tell my kids exactly what was going on with me because they are so young.  But my husband and I did tell our kids that mommy had a boo-boo and that they had to be very careful.  I basically would adjust their positions if they wanted to sit or lay with me.  I couldn't have them lay or lean on my chest especially since I had the tissue expanders in and they are not very comfortable.  So I would just have them lay lower or to my side.  Overall they were really good with everything.  

Good luck to you

KrissiABC
by Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 8:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Quoting LIMom1105:

I have a 5 year old.  I'm not sure what treatment I will do myself, but I will have to talk to him about it in the not so distant future.  He is autistic also, so I'm not sure yet what the best way is to explain this to him.  

I had an excision this summer, and I did just tell him I went to the doctor, and she had to do something that made my breast very sore.  He understood this, and didn't ask many questions, and was actually pretty careful about how he cuddled then.  We didn't talk to him about why I was having that done, and maybe it's best to just focus on the whats rather than whys at this point.

Does he have a social worker, therapist, or teacher you can talk to about this?  I'm almost thinking of calling my son's school counselor or his old psychologist from preschool to go over this. If they share anything good, I'll let you know.

Hugs!  When are you having your procedure done?


im waiting,hoping to know tomarrow the exact date. i think your right about the what instead of why. when i had the biopsy i bleed for 2days bcause i didnt "take it easy" (my idea & their idea of takin it easy is diffrent). he freaks about bandades so ive been working with him,letting him put the bandades on&he acually put one on his finger(a 1st). its the whole "change" thing that has me worried. after the implant it shouldnt be as noticable. he has suprised me many times & im praying this will be also. we went to build a bear & made a mommy bear for when im away from home(also gonna b a 1st)thank you for great advice.
KrissiABC
by Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 8:34 PM

Quoting 2curly:

Yes I have two kids, DS is 4 and DD is 2.  DD just turned 2 this month though and I had my bilateral mastectomy back in May.  I really did not tell my kids exactly what was going on with me because they are so young.  But my husband and I did tell our kids that mommy had a boo-boo and that they had to be very careful.  I basically would adjust their positions if they wanted to sit or lay with me.  I couldn't have them lay or lean on my chest especially since I had the tissue expanders in and they are not very comfortable.  So I would just have them lay lower or to my side.  Overall they were really good with everything.  

Good luck to you


thank you, i think simple will be the way. wen i had biopsy i just toldm mommy mucle didnt work, so he used my knee instead of me picking him up. adjusting should work there is the rest of me he can lay on. can i ask how your doin?
LIMom1105
by Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 8:45 PM
Yeah, I do think simple is best. Less scary for him too, though you are acknowledging something will be different. Preparing my son for any change is really important for us, and I'm guessing it is for you too.

You are smart to prepare him for a difference in appearance. Mine freaks if I take off my glasses.

I love the Mama bear!!!! such a cute idea. All the best to you, and I hope he surprises you!


Quoting KrissiABC:



Quoting LIMom1105:

I have a 5 year old.  I'm not sure what treatment I will do myself, but I will have to talk to him about it in the not so distant future.  He is autistic also, so I'm not sure yet what the best way is to explain this to him.  

I had an excision this summer, and I did just tell him I went to the doctor, and she had to do something that made my breast very sore.  He understood this, and didn't ask many questions, and was actually pretty careful about how he cuddled then.  We didn't talk to him about why I was having that done, and maybe it's best to just focus on the whats rather than whys at this point.

Does he have a social worker, therapist, or teacher you can talk to about this?  I'm almost thinking of calling my son's school counselor or his old psychologist from preschool to go over this. If they share anything good, I'll let you know.

Hugs!  When are you having your procedure done?



im waiting,hoping to know tomarrow the exact date. i think your right about the what instead of why. when i had the biopsy i bleed for 2days bcause i didnt "take it easy" (my idea & their idea of takin it easy is diffrent). he freaks about bandades so ive been working with him,letting him put the bandades on&he acually put one on his finger(a 1st). its the whole "change" thing that has me worried. after the implant it shouldnt be as noticable. he has suprised me many times & im praying this will be also. we went to build a bear & made a mommy bear for when im away from home(also gonna b a 1st)thank you for great advice.
2curly
by Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 1:23 PM

 I am doing well, thank you.  Since my cancer was not found to be invasive, I luckily did not need Chemo.  I just recently got the implants put in and the tissue expanders removed and I feel so much more comfortable. 


Quoting KrissiABC:


Quoting 2curly:

Yes I have two kids, DS is 4 and DD is 2.  DD just turned 2 this month though and I had my bilateral mastectomy back in May.  I really did not tell my kids exactly what was going on with me because they are so young.  But my husband and I did tell our kids that mommy had a boo-boo and that they had to be very careful.  I basically would adjust their positions if they wanted to sit or lay with me.  I couldn't have them lay or lean on my chest especially since I had the tissue expanders in and they are not very comfortable.  So I would just have them lay lower or to my side.  Overall they were really good with everything.  

Good luck to you


thank you, i think simple will be the way. wen i had biopsy i just toldm mommy mucle didnt work, so he used my knee instead of me picking him up. adjusting should work there is the rest of me he can lay on. can i ask how your doin?


 

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