This Movie.....Pregs mentioned

[poeticrose09]

Ok so I couldn't sleep tonight and this movie came on Lifetime it's called The Pregnancy Project. Its about a girl who pretends to be pregnant for her senior project to show people that sterotyping isn't cool nor good. It's a great movie I love it the only thing is is it makes me feel sad and depressed over the loss of my little one almost a month ago. So much has changed. In the past month I've grieved the loss of someone I didn't know yet now will I ever get to  know. I learned that my fiancé isn't ready to have kids yet and that he feel strongly about this both sober and drunk. I thought that I was doing well not really thinking about this baby that I would still be carrying and how far along I would be by now and how everything would be so much different than it is now. I just want to cry more over my loss even though I have no idea where these tears are coming from all of a sudden. To add to all of this I missed my appointment after to make sure everything was ok so I rescheduled it to the first which is Wednesday and I'm really nervous about it because in the past week/week and a half or so all of my symptoms that I had lost(boobs so sore you want to cut them off, heightened sense of smell, the simple smell of cooking meat or raw meat makes me throw up in my mouth, no period still, migraines so severe I curl up in bed after everyone wanting to cry, and the most important one besides the tiredness during the day but my blood sugar drops almost every day which it never did before I became pregnant) the week I lost my little angel with such a fierce mighty vengeance that I don't know how to react. I'm also more hormonal than usual and have more discharge the same look it had when I found out and right after. I cant afford a test since my refund for school doesn't come in until closer to the end of next month. Waiting until Wednesday is driving me nuts and im trying to not worry and stress about it but not knowing is driving me nuts. It's so frustrating, I wish to be and have my own children with my fiancé hes my knight in shinign armor. He's my rock my everything. I think some of this has to do with the movie. Sorry for the long post. 

[dvcastaneda]

i think you being pregnant again might push him away since you said he isnt ready for one, and i had pregnancy symptoms until 4 months after i lost my son, and i got pregnant 5 months after losing him.  i didnt have a period until 2 months after i lost him. i know it sucks and im really sorry for your loss, but i hope everything works out for good.

[poeticrose09]

yea ive been thinking the same thing today and thank you for ur support