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Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:45 PM
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Hello. I rarely get on cafemom but I saw an email earlier and thought maybe I could chat with some women who have been in similar situations. My hubs and I have one son, he's almost 6 now. We have ttc for 4 years now. I've been to the doctor, he's gotten his sperm tested and he was fine. My dr. Said she couldn't come up with a conclusion as to why it's been so difficult for us to get pregnant again. I even did three months of fertility treatments. They actually made my levels go down. She wanted to try injections but we decided to wait.

Anyway, finally, December 21 I had a positive hpt. I didn't even have one with my son (had to have a blood test to confirm I was pregnant with him) so you can imagine how shocked I was it was positive! After some thinking I figured out I was about 7 weeks pregnant at the time, called the dr. And set up my first appointment for a week later. Before that appointment, my husband and I had sex and the next day I started spotting. I freaked out and called the dr. She felt it was probably just from us having sex, by the following day the spotting stopped. That was a Friday, the next day, I started spotting again. The dr. Rescheduled my appt for the next week to see the nurse. The bleeding didn't stop so they sent me for an ultrasound a week later. By this time and by my calculations I was almost 9 weeks pregnant but the ultrasound showed I was about six weeks. They wanted me to wait a week and go back. The following week, before I even made it to the ultrasound I started bleeding heavily and found out when I got to the ultrasound what I already suspected, I was losing the baby my husband and I have tried to have for 4 years. This was just over a week ago when I found out. I finally quit bleeding this past Friday.

I have been so depressed since I realized I was having a miscarriage. I know women have them everyday but it's different when it happens to you, ya know? Add that to the fact that we've been trying for SO long and it makes it more depressing. I'm calling to schedule an appointment with my doctor tomorrow for a check up and to discuss ttc again. But I'm kind of wondering at this point, do I want to go through the disappointment again? Or the fear if I finally do get pregnant, am I going to lose this one too?
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by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:45 PM
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Childless2012
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:29 AM

You never realize what it feels like to have a miscarriage until it happens to you. I was a teenager when my sister had one and i was too young to understood it until i had one at 33 years old. It takes so much from you emotionally and you cant fathom even trying to conceive again.

I've been with my husband for 13 years now. It has been an ongoing discussion about us having a child together. He has a daughter from a previous marriage and his ex wife made it very difficult for him to be a part of her life so he thought that if we had a child together and we split up, i would do the same thing to him. Long story short, last summer i went off birth control and within 2 months i got pregnant for the first time. i was so excited because i have wanted this for so long and i was diagnosed with endometriosis in my late teens and it can leave you infertile. In early October 2012, I was 7 weeks pregnant and i had a miscarriage. it devastated me. It took all i had to get out of bed every day. I was very angry at the world. I have a great support system and i found out that alot of my family and friends have had miscarriages and they understood what i was going through. I couldnt even fathom trying to conceive again. To have to endure the hell of another miscarriage again isnt something i might be able to handle emotionally. However we just found out a week ago that i am pregnant again. I want to be excited and go through all of the emotions of knowing i am expecting my first child. However, it is so hard to do because i know until 14 weeks, there is a good chance it can happen all over again.

It is difficult to worry every minute of every day that i can miscarry again. it consumes alot of my thinking and i try so hard to not let myself do this but i do anyways. I am so scared because emotionally i dont know if i can do it again,but i know i want to have a child more than anything. At this point, there is nothing i can do except try to be healthy and hope it doesnt happen again. You and your husband are the only ones that can decide if you want to take the chance again. It is difficult but if you can get past the 14 week mark, the odds are more in your favor. The advice i was given most often was "dont give up. i have been through a miscarriage or two and i was able to have a child/ren." If and when you decide to try again, it will feel right to you. I would highly recommend waiting until you are not only physically but emotionally and mentally ready to try again. If i had tried sooner, i think it would have been more difficult. every day I still think about the baby i lost but it does get easier as time goes on and on the bright side, at least you have one bundle of joy already.

Zealand2008
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:49 AM
I completely understand. We also got pregnant after 4 years TTC and lost the baby at 11 weeks. If age weren't a factor I might to TTC again but can't really afford to.
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Zealand2008
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:51 AM
1 mom liked this
Was supposed to say wait to ttc


Quoting Zealand2008:

I completely understand. We also got pregnant after 4 years TTC and lost the baby at 11 weeks. If age weren't a factor I might to TTC again but can't really afford to.

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ilovekeith12
by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:16 AM
May I ask how old you are ? I'm 36 and still tryin


Quoting Zealand2008:

I completely understand. We also got pregnant after 4 years TTC and lost the baby at 11 weeks. If age weren't a factor I might to TTC again but can't really afford to.

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Zealand2008
by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:30 PM
I'm 37


Quoting ilovekeith12:

May I ask how old you are ? I'm 36 and still tryin




Quoting Zealand2008:

I completely understand. We also got pregnant after 4 years TTC and lost the baby at 11 weeks. If age weren't a factor I might to TTC again but can't really afford to.


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ilovekeith12
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 6:29 AM

 I am worried about my age but my dr isnt . Did your dr say anything ?


Quoting Zealand2008:

I'm 37


Quoting ilovekeith12:

May I ask how old you are ? I'm 36 and still tryin




Quoting Zealand2008:

I completely understand. We also got pregnant after 4 years TTC and lost the baby at 11 weeks. If age weren't a factor I might to TTC again but can't really afford to.



 

Zealand2008
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:44 AM
No he isnt concerned about my age. My problem was thyroid and endometriosis. Now that those are taken care of things should be fine. There is a higher chance of birth defects I suppose and your egg reserve decreases but women have babies well into their 40s. I just try to stay positive.


Quoting ilovekeith12:

 I am worried about my age but my dr isnt . Did your dr say anything ?




Quoting Zealand2008:

I'm 37



Quoting ilovekeith12:

May I ask how old you are ? I'm 36 and still tryin





Quoting Zealand2008:

I completely understand. We also got pregnant after 4 years TTC and lost the baby at 11 weeks. If age weren't a factor I might to TTC again but can't really afford to.





 


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