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Have you told your employer?

Posted by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 5:25 AM
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Hi ladies!

I am 13w3d and have not told my boss yet.  I'm so nervous!  I just started this position in January, and it's a management position in a school district.  I am going to be on maternity leave during our busiest time (summer is when we complete all of our network/IT projects since the students and teachers are gone). 

I am trying to play this conversation out in my head but I just don't know how to bring it up!

With my last baby, I didn't even care about the job I had (I quit it after I had my baby) so I wasn't nervous.  But this job is the job of a lifetime, awesome pay and potential, so it just makes me more nervous about disappointing my boss.

He has two kids of his own (9 and 12) and has made a few comments here and there about, "When you have your second kid," so I know he expects this to happen, but so soon?

by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 5:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Dogpuck
by Group Admin on Oct. 29, 2009 at 2:38 PM

I told my boss before I told my mom!!! I work at a daycare though.... they love that kind of thing and I'm only part time so by the time it comes for me to leave there will be a highschooler or someone to take over till I want to come back.

As far as you.... is your boss male or female? If they are already talking about #2 then I wouldn't worry to much... Make sure you have maternity coverage... which i would think you would since you started in Jan. but some places are weird about that.... the earlyer they know the better IMO... if they are gonna fire yo ufor being preg then you can pursue a case against them for wrongfull dismissal earlyer and still get paid!


michiganmom05
by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 9:42 PM

My boss was the second person to know after my husband.  I lost my management postion or should I say never got the chance to start the training.  I was told I was getting the manager position and then they found out I was pg and said ahh, nevermind.  So it worked out anyway because I went from 2nd shift to 1st shift.  Now I get to be home with my family at night. 

I would love to work part time or even be a stay at home mom, but finances right now say I need to work at least full time.

Good luck to you.  I'm sure it will work out fine. 

 

Jen825
by Group Owner on Oct. 30, 2009 at 4:15 PM

Wow Michiganmom, that's horrible about losing the management position!  But I guess it sounds like it worked out okay for you anyway.

My boss is male.  And yes, I am covered by FMLA laws.  However, there are a million and one ways that an employer can let you go without it appearing to be due to pregnancy.  The position could simply be eliminated due to budgetary reasons.

michiganmom05
by on Oct. 30, 2009 at 7:58 PM

I just talked to my boss today.  I've been off work since Wed. because I have the flu, went to ER and it's H1N1.  Well, I was informed today that I don't need to show up Sunday or Monday and my hours will be less from now on due to me being sick.  I'm also going to be written up due to excessive length of absence. WTF, I have a note from the ER! I am sick for crying out loud.  I didn't ask to have Sun and Mon off.

But, my place of employment is known for cutting your hours when you miss time or when you won't pick up extra hours.  I'm so stressed, but it feels good to vent.  I've cried my eyes out and worried about how to pay bills, Christmas, etc.  But we've made it through worse times.  OK, I'm done now :) bow down

Heidi020
by Member on Oct. 31, 2009 at 5:14 PM

I work as a sub at the preschool center.  I haven't worked for a while so No I haven't told them yet. But this is a small town so they will probably find out soon.

Jen825
by Group Owner on Nov. 2, 2009 at 5:25 AM

Michiganmom:  Your boss sounds like a complete jerk to work for.  I am so sorry you have to go through that.  Quite honestly, this doesn't sound like the type of environment you will want to be working in once your baby is born, either.  I know the economy is horrible, but is there any way you can take this opportunity to find something more family friendly?  Especially now, before you start showing?  I don't know...I was just thinking about you as I was writing an email to my boss, telling him I'd be working from home today because my son has a fever and cough.  I was thinking about what you had said about your boss reducing your hours just because you were sick.

As far as pregnancy discrimination goes, I did study this a bit in law school (I have a law degree but am not a lawyer right now....long story haha).  There are so many ways your boss can discriminate against you without you being able to to sue under FMLA.  But, if what he is doing is considered "normal" for your workplace (i.e. he does it to others who are sick), then there is nothing you can do about it.  What a jerk, though.

LilysMommy813
by on Nov. 10, 2009 at 6:39 PM

I work in L&D so fortunately its not a total downfall to be a pregnant employee, but I coud have killed my manager.  When I came back from my honeymoon ( We found out we were prego on the honeymoon, we had tried one time before the wedding, and it worked :) a few of my night shift friends are like haha are you pregnant yet and I was like actually yeah.  Im not going to lie if someone asked me but I wasn't broadcasting it to everyone cuz for crying out loud I was like 5 weeks, thats super early! Well the next week I get to work and one of the other pregnant girls is telling me how the manager sent out an email to everyone stating the pregnant girls due dates, including me and listed mine as june 20, WTF!  So now EVERYONE knows i'm pregnant and 1) I wasn't ready to tell the entire unit I was prego and 2) she kinda stole my thunder of telling people people the exciting news myself and 3) thats a violation of my privacy to tell people my business in an email, especially with the wrong info that she got through people guessing ( she actually told me that)  I was pissed and let her know how pissed I was and I didn't even get so much as an apology.  JERK!

Not nearly the shitty situation michiganmom is in but def rubbed me the wrong way

Sorry that was long, felt good to vent

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Eagle293
by on Nov. 11, 2009 at 10:23 AM

well considering i am my own boss yes she was the first to know lol.  i run a daycare so ill only be taking probably a week off and im hoping to have a sub around that time for a week.

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Jen825
by Group Owner on Nov. 13, 2009 at 12:26 AM

Wow, only a week!!  And you are having a c-section??

Well, I finally told my boss yesterday (I was 15w2d).  It went pretty well I guess.  He seemed surprised....perhaps *slightly* pleasantly surprised.  He was surprised that I hadn't called in sick yet haha.  He talked a bit about whether I wanted a boy or a girl, then talked about how much he loves having two boys.  Then he asked if I had thought about my "plans."  I asked him "Plans?"  He said, "With work." 

I said, "If you're asking if I want to keep working here, absolutely.  I love this job."  He looked relieved.  The truth is, it is a great job, but if we didn't need the money, I would MUCH rather stay home with my kids.  But that's not an option.  Although I'm sure he's a bit worried because I did quit my last job after having my son.  But, I didn't care about that job.....it was long hours, long commute, lower pay, and I was trying to finish law school at the time...so I quit.

He did say congratulations, a couple of times...and said he won't tell anyone (even though I said it's not a secret anymore).

Anyway, I'm so relieved to have gotten this out of the way :)   Phew!

Heidi020
by Member on Nov. 13, 2009 at 11:33 AM

I am so glad everything work out for you.

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