What does that go towards? I send my kids to their dad every other weekend. I pack diapers, wipes, baby food, etc. Is that necessary? Am I supposed to provide that stuff for when they are with him since he pays child support?
I hear you on that one, completely. In my support order, I live in NW Florida, it was so ordered that I had to supply anything that my little one needed. Clothes, diapers, wipes, you name it. It was my obiligation. Sounds crazy doesn't it?? To build a home on one income(we all know child support doesn't amount to much) and then have to supply the Non custodial parent with everything. To me, it's a waste of money. And then he doesn't even send the clothes home clean. What I did, was come up with a verbal agreement with the Non custodial parent. Who ever has her, takes full responsibilty for her. What ever she needs you get for her. So far, so good. Good Luck
I used to supply those things before we went to court regarding custody and support....as soon as the final ruling came (I am custodial parent and he pays support) I stopped doing it...
I will say, alot of it has to do with your own peace of mind as well....If you have no peace sending your child over there without a bag because you KNOW that daddy just will not do it or have it, then save yourself the stress and pack it....but I really do not see where he should not be able to do this on his own!
He is very capable of providing those things and he would if need be, I have just always sent it with them. And the cost adds up. I just didn't wanna sound greedy by saying that he has to pay CS and provide all that stuff. I just didn't know what the norm was. I have never second guessed his abilities to provide or care for them, just didn't wanna be out of line.
Of course , I think like that also. Heres another way to look at it..what he gives you for any support is rightly yours for your son....and many times it will be used for the upkeep of the home you provide for him....and 9 times out of 10 that money you get is paying you back from what you have ALREADY spent, am I right? So, it is owed to you (his fathers share) of helping you maintain what you have for your son. He still, can keep up with the "little" things like covering him with diapers on his visits. Be in good conscious! :)
Quoting lcm3181:
He is very capable of providing those things and he would if need be, I have just always sent it with them. And the cost adds up. I just didn't wanna sound greedy by saying that he has to pay CS and provide all that stuff. I just didn't know what the norm was. I have never second guessed his abilities to provide or care for them, just didn't wanna be out of line.
When my son did go to this fathers house (this no longer happens due to the lack of his fathers parenting skills) I never supplied anything. He is only ordered to pay $115 a month, so why would I use it on things when he is at his house? My son went for over when he was a baby so I made his dad go buy the diapers, formula... ect while he was there. Nope he didnt like it but oh well!
I haven't received child support for 3 years this coming July and its court order and I get told thru the Child Support Agency that they got it now if a man applies for assists thru Food stamps or public asstistant for a place to stay they can not get anything out of the father because the government has given them a loop hole to keep them from paying child support on there kids(child) in which I think is wrong but hey want do the custodial parent have the right too. I've been fighting to get support for my daughter now for the past 3 years because he decides to stop paying 3 years ago coming in July. So truly wants the point of having it court order and they at the end won't pay amout they suppose too.
Yeah i understand this. And I felt similarly about it since I too havent seen any payments in about as long as you havent seen payments. Let him duck and dodge for the rest of his life while you live yours the best you can for you and your kids (Im just assuming you may have more than one :)....its truly a miserable existence to be as irresponsible as he is....When he comes out of "hiding" best believe that money will be pulled. Ugh, I know...its frustrating.
Quoting Tangie66:
I haven't received child support for 3 years this coming July and its court order and I get told thru the Child Support Agency that they got it now if a man applies for assists thru Food stamps or public asstistant for a place to stay they can not get anything out of the father because the government has given them a loop hole to keep them from paying child support on there kids(child) in which I think is wrong but hey want do the custodial parent have the right too. I've been fighting to get support for my daughter now for the past 3 years because he decides to stop paying 3 years ago coming in July. So truly wants the point of having it court order and they at the end won't pay amout they suppose too.
How long a time is he taking them? If he only has him for a few hours a week, I'd continue to provide it because, really, why make an issue out of a few diapers? I know the costs can add up, but you're still probably talking about less than $7 a visit for diapers, wipes, and formula/babyfood for visit that doesn't include an overnight. Isn't it worth $7 every week or two just to not have the drama?
However, if he's taking the child overnight then he needs to be providing the basics himself, especially disposable items. If he's good about getting clothes and things back to you, then I'd go ahead and send those since it doesn't cost you anything to do so, and you're getting them back. But if they aren't consistently coming back, (and I mean more than the odd sock going missing, or forgetting a shirt one visit but sending it the next) then I would tell the ex he has to provide his own clothing as well.
Quoting lcm3181:
He is very capable of providing those things and he would if need be, I have just always sent it with them. And the cost adds up. I just didn't wanna sound greedy by saying that he has to pay CS and provide all that stuff. I just didn't know what the norm was. I have never second guessed his abilities to provide or care for them, just didn't wanna be out of line.
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- lcm3181
on Mar. 11, 2011 at 2:46 PM