What's your story?

[trulymommy]

This is a group for single mothers, and I was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind sharing your stories on how you became a single mother?

[Maykhala]

Hi, I am 32 years old and have a pretty good job. I was dating someone and we broke up back in January we actually started to talk again in April and in May we decided to meet up... we started hanging out again and all of a sudden I find out I am pregnant. The BD wants nothing to do with us and would like to sign over his rights and not have to pay financially. He has sent me numerous emails stating he would kill himself or ruin me if I "ruin him financially." I have decided to keep this baby. I am now 10 weeks pregnant and have a ways to go. I am mixed with emotions but I am starting to become excited about this entire process ... except the portion of having to deal with the BD. I am just now trying to figure out what rights I have and support that I can get. I'm not sure how I will be able to afford an attorney ... to top it off the BD is an attorney. Any suggestions would greatly be appreciated.

[SINGLEMOM83]

HI, MY NAME IS ASHANTRIS AND I AM 24 YEARS OLD. I HAVE THREE CHILDREN ALL BY THE SAME PERSON. MY KIDS FATHER AND I WERE HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS AND WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 6 YEARS. WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING EVERYTHING WAS LOVELY AND I LOVED HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING. AFTER MY SON WAS BORN THINGS STARTED GOING DOWN HILL FOR US. WE STAYED TOGTHER FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS AND WE CONSTANTLY FOUGHT PHYSICALLY. HE EVEN FOUGHT ME WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH EACH OF MY GIRLS. HE EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED ME AND I JUST GOT FED UP WITH IT. I REMEMBER ONE TIME HE CHOKED ME UNTIL I WAS ALMOST UNCONSCIOUS AND I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY LAST CHILD. HE HAS BEEN LOCKED UP SEVERAL TIMES AND HE IS STILL ON PROBATION. HE CLAIMS THE THINGS HE DID WAS FOR US. I DON'T THINK THAT IS TRUE I THINK THEY ARE OTHER ALTERNATIVES TO ROBBING AND STEALING. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT I MOVED TO ANOTHER STATE IN WHICH HIS FAMILY STAYS IN LAST YEARS HOPING THAT THING WOULD BE BETTER WHEN HE GOT OUT OF JAIL. WHILE I WAS UP HERE BY MYSELF BASICALLY I RELIZED THAT I DON'T NEED HIM. I HAVE LET HIM KNOW THAT AND EVERYDAY SINCE I HAVE TOLD HIM THAT HE HAS BEGGED ME TO GET BACK WITH HIM. I JUST CAN'T DO IT. I AM TRYING TO MOVE ON IN MY LIFE SO I CAN BETTER PROVIDE FOR ME AND MY CHILDREN.

[eme20913]

well, my name is emily, my one and only is only 4 1/2 months old, she's never met her father. we dated for a while and i found out i was pregnant, and he was so happy... then i went off to visit family and when i came back he was gone. we didnt live to gether or anything but i figured he just got scared but then i find out he stole my check book and cleaned out my bank account, all my savings... it completely broke me. then i moved in w/ my mom and we moved 900 miles away, but i felt he should know about his child so i get in contact w/ again and he just doesnt seem to care. the only thing he talks about is me and i want nothing to do with him, i just dont want my child to hate me. and heres the kicker, i was raped by an ex while i was going out w/ this guy and it was around the time i got pregnant, so now, i am here. alone. and broke, trying to care for the only love in my life with no money and no daddy. my other ex doesnt care either. when i told him i was pregnant he said "i alrady have a kid" she is only 4 1/2 months old and she needs a man in her life. when she see's her uncles or grand father i cant tear her away. and thats rarely. my imediate family is mostly women. she needs her daddy, but i dont know who that is and niether want the responsibility or even care about her. i dont know what to do. it is so hard to keep living like this. i dont want to be alone. and more than that i dont want her to be alone or her to hate me. there are way to many consequences to any actions i could take. and i dont have the money for the paternity testing that child support requires. theres not even a fathers name on her birthcertificate. i was alone when i had her. my mom was there for a short while but i just need, someone to talk to. i dont know n e 1 in this state...

[msmarilynj]

I was 18 & hadn't spoke to the donor in 4 months when I found out I was pregnant. ( He was abusive in more ways than one.) My mom told me that he had a right to know I was pregnant w/ his child. I told him when I was 6 months, he didn't want to be a father yet. He told me it was too late to go to the clinic & then asked did I want to fall down the stairs. He then started to try to have a "relationship." ( We were just hanging out when we first started out. After telling him no for weeks, he decided to use force.) I was already in a relationshipp w/ someone else. He got mad, started telling everyone I was an unfit mom before I even had the baby. When I finally had my son (a month early), my donor & his mom decided to come visit after visiting hours. His mom couldn't come to my room because it was after hours. So she was screaming in the lobby about how my son wasn't her sons' father & he should get a paternity test & that I was "active" w/ other guys from our neighborhood. His family would come over to visit w/o him. When he did come to visit it was to show my son as his trophy to his friends or want to talk about how we should be together for the sake of the child. I moved from my hometown when my son was 4 months. When I moved back to my hometown, I figured that time would mature my donor. WRONG!!!! I took my son over to my donor's house & he said "our" son is big. Then he started to tell me how good I looked & every other compliment in the world. After I told him he needed to be concerned abtou his son & not me, he told me I was a dumb bitch. We fought everytime we seen each other after that until I got a PPO against him. Now he tells everyone else how much of a dumb bitch I am!

[momofadiva]

My husband and I got married in Feb. 2004.  Shortly after we found out we were pregnant.  He was thrilled, I was not.  I wanted to wait at least a year.  Fast forward about 14 weeks and we find out she's a girl.  I'm fine with it, he is not.  He really wanted a boy.

He begins spending more and more time away from home (not cheating, just playing video games at his friend's house).  He's refusing to find work in the winter.  I'm stressing about money when the baby comes.

I get her room ready, I get her clothing ready, I clean the house getting ready for the baby.  He's now sleeping on the couch.

She comes and I had to have c-section (she was over 10 lbs).  The first night we are home, he goes to his friend's house leaving me to deal with a newborn and major surgery.  There is no way to contact him because his friend has no landline and cells don't work out where we live. 

Things just go downhill and in January 2007, I kick him out. 

[Mrsangel22]

Well I was 19 when i found out I was pregnant for the first time.  I got married to my boyfriend while i was pregnant and i thought things were going to be fine.  We could do this.  Well everything was good untill I got pregnant with my second child.  Money got really tight so we ended up moving in with my mom.  And the problems started.  He started to drink heavily and got into drugs, mostly meth.  It all went down hill from there.  I tried so hard to make things work out.  He couldn't have cared less about anything.  He started to be abusive in everyway.  He also tried to kill himself so many times.  Finally I thought maybe if we moved back to his hometown things would get better cause he would be away from all his bad habits.  I was wrong it got worse.  His parents say clearly what he was doing and were behind me 110%.  They were so helpful to me.  Then on Christmas when we were still trying to get through it cause i kept trying after all he did to me, he told me he was moving in with his girlfriend.  At that moment i was done.  I filled for a divorce and got everything.  Including full custody with supervised and reasonable visitation for him.  So I'm happy and who knows how he is.  he never tries to even talk the girls.  He has better things to do.  So its just me and my girls making it on our own. 

[smiley87334]

Hi!  Im   a single mom of 4...  My ex hubby and I were high school sweet hearts.. We got married after dating 8 years when we found out that  I was pregnant...  Well since then we have had 2 more little guys... In may 2002 he started staying out late at night and staying home less and less often...  I was a stay at home mom...  Loving it.. I did work one day a week to keep my sanity...   Before this I never knew their was anything wrong with our relationship..  But he liked going out with friends while I sat home with the kids... Anyway on our baby's first b-day party day he told me he wanted a divorce.. OMG  What a shocker....   Well less then 2 weeks he was dating and taking our kids to the park with one of our friends....Well I thouhgt she was a friend anyway...  so since then I ve moved on and actually have a baby with my bf... that lives an hour away...  So I guess we are not so much single anymore.. But I still feel like it...

[mama2tanner]

I found out I was pregnant when I was 15.  My boyfriend at the time cried when he found out...not too long after he started being a big jerk, treating me like crap all the time. We broke up when I was six months pregnant and it was the best decision I have ever made in my life. Tanner is 4 months old now and a couple of months ago I found out the my ex, Mike, was using some drugs. Not hard ones, but like marijuana and stuff. Then yesterday I found out about him using oxycontin and I am really angry with him. I think Tanner deserves so much better. So Mike is pretty much out of Tanner's life for a long time and I still feel like I made the right decision. I am now almost 17 and loving being a parent. I live at home with my mom and brother and sister and they are the best support I could ever ask for.

[ADRIANS_MOMMY04]

IM 17 YEARS OLD I GOT PREGNANT AT 16. IM A SINGLE MOTHER TO A 6 MTH YEAR OLD. THE BABYS DADDY AND I DATED MY 10TH AND 11TH YEAR IN HIGH SKOOL. THEN 2 WEEKS AFTER OUR SON ADRIAN WAS BORN HE BROKE UP WIT ME.HIM AND MY MOTHER WERE HAVIN PROBLEMS AT THE TIME AND HE SAID THAT WAS THE REASON HE LEFT ME BUT I DONT THINK ITS TRUTH. HE ONLY SEES THE BABY WHEN HE FEELS LIKE IT AND THATS LIKE ONCE A WEEK. HE DOESNT DO ANYTHING FOR HIM YEA HE BUYS HIM DIPEARS AND WIPPES ONCE IN A WHILE BUT OTHER THEN THAT HIS OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS GETTING HIGH AND DOING WHO KNOWS WAT AND WIT WHO!!!! CAUSE BASICALLY HE CHOOSE HE FRIENDS OVER ME N HIS SON....RIGHT NOW AM A SINGLE TEEN MOTHER LIVING WITH MY PARENTS STILL GOING TO SKOOL AM IN MY LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL.NOT WORKING YET MY PARENTS WANT ME TO FOCUS ON SCHOOL AND MY SON RIGHT NOW!!!!! BUT TO TELL U THE TRUTH I STILL TRUTHLY LOVE MY SONS DADDY!!! I JUST HOPE ONE OF THESE DAYS HE CAN GROW UP AND RELIZE HE LOST SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT IN HIS LIFE!!!!

[cpinson2007]

I am a single mother of a 5 yr old boy, was 19 when i got pregnate with him, his father and i both were really happy.until his dad started doing drugs when i was about 6weeks along, i tried to get him to stop but it didn't take him long to get hooked. I was about 11 weeks along when he body slammed me and that was all it took for me to leave. The safety of myself and my child were more important than him at that point. It is hard sometimes, but after about 2 yrs of no child support I had him put in jail, and I dont have a lot of problems getting him to pay it anymore. He is finally started to grow up a little this year. I can happily say that my sons father is not on drugs anymore. He now has a heathy relationship with our son.