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My story

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:42 PM
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Remember that childhood rhyme?  "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" I'm sure you do.  Often it was shouted at kids who were calling you names, or taunting you.  But the truth is, the words do hurt.  They leave scars that you can't see, but never fully heal.  Bullying hurts, and can lead to depression, anxiety, and in the worst cases, suicide.  We need to do something about this!

Here is my story, in short.

 In 6th grade, my parents transferred me to a conservative Christian school.  I was excited!  I could meet new friends, and have a place to express my new found faith.  I had never been shy, and never a victim of a bully save for some jerk at my old school. But he bullied everyone, so it never really bothered me.  I was so excited.

On my first day, i entered teh classroom and the teacher told me to sit.  I took my appointed desk and tried to strike up a conversation with the girl next to me.  She just said high, turned around and started talking to the other girls.  It stung, but I let it go.  We went to chapel that morning, something I had never done before at public school.  When they started singing songs, I felt a little out of place. I had never heard these before.  But I got lucky.  There was a girl next to me who wasn't singing either.  She was  a grade above me, and absolutely hated chapel.  She ended up being my only friend at school for two years.

  As I walked into the classroom the teacher called me over.  "Brian (name changed) said you refused to sing in chapel."  I explained that didn't know the songs.  She said that was fine, but that doesn't explain why I chatted during prayer.  Which I didn't do.  But she didn't believe me, and I got a letter sent home my first day.  it was only the beginning.

The bullying continued.  No one ever talked to me, and avoided grouping with me. The girls were always spreading rumors, and my journals were always made fun of when we had to read them out loud.  Despite the fact that it happened RIGHT IN FRONT of the teachers, they said nothing.  By Christmas I was wanting to leave the school and was telling people I am leaving.  So my teacher calls my dad.  They had already paid the registration for the spring and fall terms, so they convinced me to stay.  By the middle of 2nd semester, I began to consider killing myself.

  But seventh grade brought with it a chance at "popularity."  7th graders were allowed to joing the flags in the marching band!  I was so excited!  But it ended quickly.  I made flags, but the captain hated me.  She was always making me do pushups or laps for silly things the other's got away with.  I dropped a flag in practice, I had to run two laps. I turned my head the wrong way, I got a demerit.  Then when I injured my ankle during our band camp (I fell in a hole and tore my ligaments) and was put in a cast, she tried to have me thrown off the squad because I couldn't practice.  She did make sure I couldn't march in the first half of the season, despite the fact that I marched IN MY CAST during practices. But the worse was yet to come.

That bully from my old school, came to my new one.  And he started in on me the first day.  I found a piece of paper with the words "caution wide load" on my locker.  Often he would tape a similar note on my back when i wasn't looking.  He was always pushing me and shoving me.  When i entered a class he would have all the students Moo at me. I was called every name for "fat" in the book that year.  But the worst part was lunch time.  HE and others would throw food at me.  If they didnt' do that, they would snatch up my  lunch and toss it in the garbage, telling me I needed to diet.  Again, teachers did nothing.  So I hid in the band room with the ONLY teacher I could trust, my band director.  Or I'd eat on the bleachers outside teh baseball field, hoping not to get caught.  I enjoyed those times.  I would read, and just enjoy the quiet.  The worse experience though was after we read some stupid story in literature.  Something about kids on venus.  The sun would only shine for one day out of the year, so they decided to punish the "werid girl" by locking her inside so she couldn't see it while they went out and played.  After that class was lunch.  So they decided to lock me in one of the outside bathrooms.  I used those because no one else did.  By the time a teacher found me lunch had passed and the next lesson had already started.  I didn't get in trouble, but neither did they.

My grades had dropped from all A's to Bs and C's.  I was depressed.  Where I once loved school, I hated it.  No one ever called or invited me anywhere.  And I was just mean all the time.  Yet there was a light in this dark time.  Mom and Dad finally realized they needed to get me out of that school.  All I had to do was make it to summer and I was GONE! 

Needless to say I left that school.  But it never left me.  I suffered from depression and anxiety.  Resorting to cutting myself to ease the pain, and starving myself to lose weight.  My new friends (good friends) worried about me all the time.  By 10th grade though, i had found a wonderful boyfriend.  He is now my husband.  I wouldn't have survived my bout with anorexia had it not been for him.  I went from a size 20 to a size 8 in less than a year.  I could barely even march at band camp, and my hair had started to fall out.  He forced me to start eating...which I did.  I eventually recovered WITHOUT therapy, and today have no issues with the disorder.  Although depression and anxiety are still a part of my life.  If you wish to know more, please send me a message or join my group!

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:42 PM
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Replies (1-3):
judith106
by on Sep. 9, 2009 at 3:55 PM

Wow, you went through alot. My son is bullied in school and has been for a couple

years. Ive been to the school, kids have been spoken to, but he still gets picked on

by most of the boys. Im actually calling the school tommorow again because it is

still going on...Its only week one. Honestly if my son hauled off and punched

someone, Im at the point that I would take him out for icecream...Wrong I know

but Im so worried.

katzmeow726
by Group Owner on Sep. 9, 2009 at 11:13 PM

Oh I'm the same way.  DH and I've already decided.  If our kids start a fight or bully, they're up shit creek without a paddle.  But if they defend themselves in a fight that they did not start and can't get out of, then even if they are suspended, we're going to make sure they know that they did right.

Quoting judith106:

Wow, you went through alot. My son is bullied in school and has been for a couple

years. Ive been to the school, kids have been spoken to, but he still gets picked on

by most of the boys. Im actually calling the school tommorow again because it is

still going on...Its only week one. Honestly if my son hauled off and punched

someone, Im at the point that I would take him out for icecream...Wrong I know

but Im so worried.


judith106
by on Sep. 10, 2009 at 7:07 AM

Glad Im not alone in my thinking

Quoting katzmeow726:

Oh I'm the same way.  DH and I've already decided.  If our kids start a fight or bully, they're up shit creek without a paddle.  But if they defend themselves in a fight that they did not start and can't get out of, then even if they are suspended, we're going to make sure they know that they did right.

Quoting judith106:

Wow, you went through alot. My son is bullied in school and has been for a couple

years. Ive been to the school, kids have been spoken to, but he still gets picked on

by most of the boys. Im actually calling the school tommorow again because it is

still going on...Its only week one. Honestly if my son hauled off and punched

someone, Im at the point that I would take him out for icecream...Wrong I know

but Im so worried.



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