I ran into a friend of mine that works with my kids dead beat father. And she asked did I know he moved three hours away? I looked at her and told her no he didnt say anything. He got fired from his job the other day and then he up and moved in with this girl (she is one of the girls he cheated with on his now new baby mama}. He didn't even say good-bye to his kids. I haven't told them yet..and really dont know how to explain it, that he moved and didnt say bye to them. I know my daughter and son are going to take this really hard. Now I am wondering, how is child support going to be paid, now that he moved and got fired. I mean does it just go on like every month and keeps building, will they go after him after he dont pay the monthly amount..just wondering how all this is going to work now? I feel so bad, cause Andrew isnt going to fully understand whats going on and why he wont see his fahter as much..(if ever cause he hasnt been in my son's life in six months.) He ingores my son, and acts like he isnt his even though we had the DNA test, he still choose's to ingore my son...ughh now what?
All I can say is that if he did this it is probably better that the kids stop seeing him now since it will get harder as they get older. I tried for years to have my sons father in his life and he just kept screwing up. Even my sons Psychologist has told me this. Although she has said it I kept trying since my son wanted it so much but then after what he pulled the last time I realized that this was not doing him any good. His inconsistent and selfish behavior were actually causing more anxiety for my son. So I just explained to my son that we did not deserve to be treated that way and by letting his Dad come over we were actually saying that what he was doing was ok. It is a good thing my son is 7 and can kinda understand it. Plus by now my ex has pretty muchly showed his true colors to my son too so he sees it. As for child support I barely started getting any about a year ago and it has been on and off since. He too basically got together with some girl and because she worked he decided he didn't need to. He had found someone to support him. But it does add up every month that they don't pay and where I am at if you don't get a payment for a month then they send a notice to them about suspending their liscence and then if they still don't pay they file contempt charges. The problem I have is my ex seems to know how the system works so at just about the time they would file contempt I always seem to get a payment. What pisses me off is it doesn't matter that it is only a very small payment it stops the process. I have actually gotten a child support payment of $4 before. Unbelieveable huh. I do make a point of informing my case worker when he misses one since I figure they are so busy they may not notice. Plus I was nice and went for the least I could and he is still behind thousands of dollars and doesn't even bother to file his tax return because he knows it will come straight to me. I figure no man in my sons life is better that a no good loser like that.
Good for you. You really don't have to say much just that you don't know where he is. Which you didn't until someone else told you. My ex just called again last night and left a message telling me that if I don't let him see his son he will have to come at me. He was basically saying that he has paid some child support and if I don't let him see his son he will take legal action. But I know he won't it was his drunk talk because I finally am saying enough. Plus I have full legal custody and don't even have to let him visit unless he can complete a alcohol rehab program. Then he would have to file to get visitation. Which I doubt he would even bother doing since he couldn't even be bothered to go to the class required when you get a divorce and children are involved. What gets me is I really don't think it is about seeing his son at all. He just wants to be able to come and go as he pleases since he lives with his own father in a studio apt. and they don't get along all the time. Sad that a 44 yr old man can't get his own place. Anyways when he calls he hardly even talks to his son he is more intent on getting me to let him come over and hardly talks at all to him. He also seems to think that his little bit of money sparodically is a big deal. He has no real sense of reality and what it costs to live on your own these days. Plus I don't think I mentioned before that they can take up to 50% of his checks. Which for a normal person would be alot but since he doesn't have any bills and lives off his own father is not a big deal and still I sometimes only get $20 or $50. Then there was that $4 payment so he only worked like 1 hr. that pay period. He has a job where he can work as much or as little as he wants. Anyways sorry this is so long but I just got his message this morning and had to vent. Good luck to you and your family.
Quoting cutie222:
Good for you. You really don't have to say much just that you don't know where he is. Which you didn't until someone else told you. My ex just called again last night and left a message telling me that if I don't let him see his son he will have to come at me. He was basically saying that he has paid some child support and if I don't let him see his son he will take legal action. But I know he won't it was his drunk talk because I finally am saying enough. Plus I have full legal custody and don't even have to let him visit unless he can complete a alcohol rehab program. Then he would have to file to get visitation. Which I doubt he would even bother doing since he couldn't even be bothered to go to the class required when you get a divorce and children are involved. What gets me is I really don't think it is about seeing his son at all. He just wants to be able to come and go as he pleases since he lives with his own father in a studio apt. and they don't get along all the time. Sad that a 44 yr old man can't get his own place. Anyways when he calls he hardly even talks to his son he is more intent on getting me to let him come over and hardly talks at all to him. He also seems to think that his little bit of money sparodically is a big deal. He has no real sense of reality and what it costs to live on your own these days. Plus I don't think I mentioned before that they can take up to 50% of his checks. Which for a normal person would be alot but since he doesn't have any bills and lives off his own father is not a big deal and still I sometimes only get $20 or $50. Then there was that $4 payment so he only worked like 1 hr. that pay period. He has a job where he can work as much or as little as he wants. Anyways sorry this is so long but I just got his message this morning and had to vent. Good luck to you and your family.
Dont be sorry for vent cause sometimes i need to vent to. Like today..we got our income taxes and cause their father went and filed BEHIDEN my back and didnt tell me (the irs threw back my kids SS numbers that how i found out) our income tax was only little over two thousand..so i gotta call the IRS tommrow and find out what the hell is going on..I have decied to file for SOLE CUSTODY, NO VISTS cause him and his family try to kidnapp the kids when we split so i dont want his family around my children..
Hey if you're going to file for full custody then his moving without telling you or the kids can only help your case. You should start documenting everything. I do this with the school in regards to my sons IEP. Just in case we ever have to go to due process. So it would probably be helpful in this sort of situation too. It gets hard to remember everything otherwise especially the exact dates and times.
My son has NO diagnosis...looking for support
- lovebeingmrs
on Mar. 29, 2010 at 6:13 PM