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Venting....

Posted by on Sep. 29, 2009 at 11:51 PM
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Yep...that's all...just venting :)

I hate when he never gets to email or anything.  It pisses me off.  yes I know he's busy but it seems like I've been trying to talk to him about working on "us", he doesn't ever want to talk.  Goes straight to his room after work, when he would normally go get on a computer to get on yahoo. 

I just don't know how he expects to work on things if he won't talk to me.  He has access everyday to his email, so I know it's not that. 

I know some of you don't get to talk to your DHs that much at all.  I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't make you upset.

Vent over...for now :~l 


by on Sep. 29, 2009 at 11:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommywife06
by on Sep. 30, 2009 at 12:59 AM

It doesnt make me upset or mad. I mean your trying to work on your marriage(previous post those are from you right?) I dont want to go further if they arent 

usafwife314
by Member on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:02 AM

Yeah I had posted about it in Newcomers

Quoting mommywife06:

It doesnt make me upset or mad. I mean your trying to work on your marriage(previous post those are from you right?) I dont want to go further if they arent 



mommywife06
by on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:07 AM

Ok I thought so the font is what made me think it was you haha!

Ok so he deployed and isnt wanting to work things out right? I cant remember all I remember is you said he was going to. Or he was about to. Maybe that was a way before post? haha sorry I have pregnancy brain.

I know exactly how you feel! I have emails from his first deployment where he was just like giving up and we didnt talk everyday, we grew more distant and there was a cheating incident(with him). (Not trying to scare you) We split up for about 5-6 months to think about us. And really decide if we really thought we was forever. It sucks. Trying to work on a 2 way street from one side. I dont really know what to say because everything I have tried and am still doing is working on our marriage. And he is going along with it and trying also. But I did have to do alot of emailing to him and to let him know that I am in this for the long haul and do believe we are and should be together and that it does take 2 to work on it! Im sorry momma! I wish I could give you hug!  

usafwife314
by Member on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:14 AM

I sent him an email telling him lets not make a decision right now (as far as s;litting up).  I told him lets finish up this deployment, go to Alaska, and start over.  We will go to counseling...pretty much telling him I'll do whatever it takes.  He says he'll try.

But I don't feel it.  And there is tons that I'm leaving out...just cause I don't feel comfortable talking about it. 


OT::I swear to God if that guy does not turn off his frackin music I'm going to go off. (Not really...just frustrated)


mommywife06
by on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:20 AM

I understand! I dont like giving out details or deep details at that. Thats what we did we finished the deployment, he came home and we worked on everything. We started fresh. Right now(we had some more issues but nothing big) just feeling distant( no pun intended lmao) but so we started dating again. I know sounds weird haha. We would ask the little silly questions you ask each other when dating. I did a date night with him. I turned on my webcam, I had candles lit, I dressed up nice and we just talked about whatever. No kids was in the conversation. We pretended it was like we was dating. And then when he comes home (might sound silly again haha) Im going to propose to him. Ask him to marry me and then we will renew our vows in 2011(5 year marriage mark). Its starting over and so far its working for us. I send him little emails just saying I LOVE YOU. Or I miss you! With the little hearts like in school! haha! And that is helping keep us I guess strong. No, not strong, closer while being far away

Quoting usafwife314:

I sent him an email telling him lets not make a decision right now (as far as s;litting up).  I told him lets finish up this deployment, go to Alaska, and start over.  We will go to counseling...pretty much telling him I'll do whatever it takes.  He says he'll try.

But I don't feel it.  And there is tons that I'm leaving out...just cause I don't feel comfortable talking about it. 

 

OT::I swear to God if that guy does not turn off his frackin music I'm going to go off. (Not really...just frustrated)


usafwife314
by Member on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:31 AM

I think that's great.  I sat down one night and wrote out vows that I want to say...I want us to renew our vows when everything is better (2012 maybe...10 years).  I sent them to him and he says I dont' know what to say.  That's all he ever says.  I can write poems and long emails about how much I want to be with him, and all that...and all he ever says is "I don't know what to say".

It kills be because...I'm just here.  I don't know what I'm suppose to be doing (as far as we go).  He won't talk to me about it.  I'm always telling him what's on my mind.  He says, I'll get back to you. 

I can't spend the next 5 months in limbo.  I know he's got to have his space to figure out what he wants (he says he needs to figure out what he wants in a marriage and a wife), and that I shoudln't be hounding him (So much easier said than done).  But do I really just sit here and wait until he does figure it out?


mommywife06
by on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:37 AM

I think by the emails and everything you are showing him you love him so its making him think(my husband says the same thing) I would write him one asking him what he THOUGHT he wanted in a wife and marriage and what made him change his decision. And tell him to think about it and to write when he has his answer. I wouldnt write long emails anymore just simple ones saying I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU TODAY I LOVE YOU HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GOOD and thats it something along those lines. So he is still thinking about that one email with the questions. Limbo sucks. I was there for 10 months I believe but we did split up for 5-6 of those months. So technically about 4-5 months I was. But I did just that, I somewhat backed off, but not completely. KWIM? (I tend to confuse people along with myself haha)  

usafwife314
by Member on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:41 AM

I get what your saying.  Just not sure I can do the 5 months in limbo with orders to Alaska right afterwords (within 2 months of him getting home). 

I need a magic wand :(

I'm just not going to email him...he doesn't respond if I say I love you.  If the kids weren't sleeping I would scream right now!


mommywife06
by on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:44 AM

haha! I have a garage for that! LUCKILY we got the new housing on our base. I understand trust me thomas never did either. He was the thinker type and still is once he gets to thinking he cant really concentrate on anything else between us unless the first issue is resolved. Thats why I did the short emails, to let him know I still loved him and I was still worried but to also let him know no more feeling spilling no more deep emotions until you start changing and answering my unanswered questions 

usafwife314
by Member on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:49 AM

I have a garage too..but ya know..the dumbass neighbor might hear it over his music and call the cops on me.  Oh wait....it stopped.

I may try that...I sent him one tonight...I was kinda ticked.  I'll tell ya about taht tomorroaw..or well...later today :).  It's almost one here and I gotta get up in 5 hours to get the kids ready for school.  Will talk to you tomorrow.


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