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How do you handle who to visit?

Posted by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:02 AM
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 The Holiday's sure can add stress to some families.  Who do we visit?  Who get's upset if we don't stay long?  In law issues......  so many things to consider.  What's up with your family and how do you decide or handle them?

by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:02 AM
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mommaslilman06
by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:14 AM

this will be our 3rd holiday season as a family. both our parents live in town and just about all the rest of hubbys family lives in our state too. the last two holiday seasons we tried to go to both parents houses and spend time with them but always spent more time at one house than the other. this year i decided that we will be just spending all thanksgiving with his family and christmas with mine. maybe next year we will switch what holidays we spend with who

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ddmac314
by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:17 AM

Mine & hubby's family always celebrate on different days so that we don't have to *choose*.  We just go to mine on the days that they celebrate, and go to his on the days that they celebrate. :)  It makes things MUCH easier!!!

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JBrummer
by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:18 AM

Well, personally we had a horrible time on Halloween because of this very issue.  We were out for a total of 7 hours, trying to accomodate our families and actually go trick or treating.  The kids were MISERABLE.  We couldn't stay long at each relatives house because we had so many other people to see, and that irritated the kids because of course they wanted to stay and play.  And by the time we got to my dad's (we went trick or treating in his neighborhood) the kids were exhausted and just wanted to go home.

Christmas is usually similar.  We don't do everything on Christmas day itself but we have 4-5 Christmases to attend, in addition to our own.  2 of those are on Christmas day.  And my husband & I have been married for 8 years but we have essentially no traditions of our own because we are so busy doing what everyone else wants. 

So I am putting my foot down.  First and foremost we are going to plan what WE want to do on holidays.  My in-laws usually come over for breakfast on Christmas morning but that seriously cuts into our family time so I think we are going to cut that out this year.  We will still do a Christmas with my mom at her house but we are going to do it a week or two before Christmas.  We will go to my dad's on Christmas Eve and I am still trying to decide whether or not we are going to my mom's family's gathering Chritmas afternoon.

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mommy2xp
by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:24 AM

we always end up at his families and seem to have to stay the night for a night or two (they only live an hour away) but i'm changing that so this year for thanksgiving (i will have just had a baby or having her or about to have her) we will be staying home or going to my moms (she lives in the same town) and for christmas we will pry go to his family but only for that day then coming home

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SanDiegoMaxMom
by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:24 AM

When we had kids, we decided that we would always be HOME for christmas morning. 

We usually do a few days before christmas with my family and a few days after with hubby's family.  We welcome anyone that wants to visit US, but we're home that day!

kcrunion73
by Member on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:27 AM

We have my dad, stepmom, and grandma over on Christmas Eve (and sometimes his dad and grandma come over at the same time) just for the kids to open presents, no food.  On Christmas, we wake up and do presents, my mom comes over with more presents, then we go to my nanny's for more presents and dinner, and then we go to his sister's with our presents (we get his sister and her daughter more presents than anyone because they don't have much money).  so it's a long day but we try to move it along as fast as we can...

Jaybelle00
by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:28 AM

This is our frist holiday season with our son, Halloween are always done at our house and for thanksgiving I'm going to host at my house...we just moved to the city and bought our first home....for christmas we have mad the decision that Christmas week will be with my folks and new years week will be with his family. 

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MomToBeISaMom
by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:34 AM

With my parents and my DH's parents, we alternate years and spend Thanksgiving at one place and Christmas at the other.  We live 3 minutes from my parents and 3 hours from my in-laws.  This year, we are doing Thanksgiving at the in-laws' and Christmas at my parents'.  DH has only one brother, and his family is on the same schedule.  We will celebrate Christmas with the in-laws over the New Year's holiday.

I have both sets of grandparents living close by our home.  Each have 7 kids.  My paternal grandparents celebrate Christmas a few weeks early, so we make sure to clear that evening.  My maternal grandparents usually celebrate at my parents' house on Christmas Eve with as many as can make it.

DH only has one living grandmother, so she celebrates with us when we celebrate with the in-laws.  We make time to see his uncles and aunts during that time too.

We've made a tradition to do our own thing (DH, me, and the kids) on Christmas morning when we are here.  We have pajama morning with hot chocolate and open stockings and gifts to each other.  On the years we are at my in-laws, we have a quiet time with DH's parents and the kids.

We've never had a fight over this issue.  I'm lucky that his family and my family are on the same page and understand that we can't get to every celebration every time.

mommybug77
by on Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:51 AM

DD3 has a birthday 3 days before christmas. We have her birthday on the Saturday before Christmas. My MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL, parents & 2 sisters come. After all my inlaws leave I celebrate Christmas with my family.

Christmas eve we go to my in-laws (3 streets away). Christmas day we go to my SIL (about 45 min away). We also go to her house on New years day.

We have not had an issue at all. My family is really laid back about it.

Jemia
by Shekella on Nov. 3, 2009 at 11:10 AM

We rotate every year so this year since we are celebrating Thanksgiving with my family we will celebrate Christmas with DH's family.

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