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On bed rest but expected to have holiday dinner.

Posted by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:30 AM
  • 12 Replies

I am on bed rest and will continue till March. I have since the last year been hosting holiday dinners. My husband's nana use to have it at her house but has been pretty sickly and dealing with cancer. I usually just make Italian Wedding Soup and the rest of the meal would be done by my mother in law. I feel really off in having one because I am stuck in my room in my bed. My house was chosen before because it is the bigger of the houses in the family and centrally located near town. I don't know what to do! Should I have it or should I not? Would you feel akward coming to someones home for dinner with the lady of the house being laid up in bed?? My mother in law has her husband hosting his family for the holiday dinner. She remarried and it is her step kids family so she is unable to host it at her house. I would feel that it be best to either have it at a restaurant or just scrap holiday dinners till like Easter where I will be mobile. However, not sure how long nana has to be with us. It may be her last Thanksgiving and Xmas and she is unable to sit for long periods at a dinner table and needs to lay down once in a while. 

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by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ballewal
by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:32 AM

Don't have it, you do not need the added stress. 

I'm not going to summarize myself in a paragraph because I'm not the kind of mother you expect me to be. 

Stacey_Mac
by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:35 AM

Are you literally supposed to stay IN bed?  I was on bed rest for 6 months of my pregnancy but I was allowed to sit on the couch, in a recliner, etc.  
Maybe you can just move?


If not, then don't have it.

scleblanc
by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:35 AM

Are you able to be on the Sofa? If so, I would do it and delegate, get everyone to help, make it like a kind of pot luck where everyone brings a dish, have some one come over and help you set up and get ready. I would also make it more informal and use disposable plates, cups and flatware.

michiganmom116
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:41 AM


Quoting scleblanc:

Are you able to be on the Sofa? If so, I would do it and delegate, get everyone to help, make it like a kind of pot luck where everyone brings a dish, have some one come over and help you set up and get ready. I would also make it more informal and use disposable plates, cups and flatware.

This!

I've been on bed rest with my pregnancies and I told everyone that they would have to suck it up and help.  Holiday dinners are nice if you have a fancy meal and fancy tableware in a perfect setting, but the FOCUS is on the FAMILY.  If this is Nana's last year with you then, by all means, you should have a family dinner!





darci00
by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:57 AM

I am going to talk to my mom in law in a few days and bring up the subject. Have a feeling she will be po'd if I don't have it. We butt heads alot anyway whats another one. I will talk to my husband about  it being informal. If he agrees it may not be so bad. It would be great to do paper products, lol, but I doubt it will fly. My family back where I grew up did paper products all the time. My dr. doesn't want pressure on my cervix as much as possible. I have a very short cervix with a cerclage put in.

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scleblanc
by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 10:03 AM

I would say if your mil does not like it, that she needs to host the event at her house, and if they don't want to use paper products then a couple of the relatives need to volunteer to clean up. JMO

Quoting darci00:

I am going to talk to my mom in law in a few days and bring up the subject. Have a feeling she will be po'd if I don't have it. We butt heads alot anyway whats another one. I will talk to my husband about  it being informal. If he agrees it may not be so bad. It would be great to do paper products, lol, but I doubt it will fly. My family back where I grew up did paper products all the time. My dr. doesn't want pressure on my cervix as much as possible. I have a very short cervix with a cerclage put in.


darci00
by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 10:03 AM


Quoting michiganmom116:


Quoting scleblanc:

Are you able to be on the Sofa? If so, I would do it and delegate, get everyone to help, make it like a kind of pot luck where everyone brings a dish, have some one come over and help you set up and get ready. I would also make it more informal and use disposable plates, cups and flatware.

This!

I've been on bed rest with my pregnancies and I told everyone that they would have to suck it up and help.  Holiday dinners are nice if you have a fancy meal and fancy tableware in a perfect setting, but the FOCUS is on the FAMILY.  If this is Nana's last year with you then, by all means, you should have a family dinner!

 

 


The more I think about it being her last I think I should for her sake. If mil agrees I will have her delegate since she wants it here. Thanks ladies!

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SanDiegoMaxMom
by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 10:28 AM

That's what I was going to suggest....park yourself on the couch and let the party go on around you!  Do not feel pressure to actually COOK the meal.....your baby and health are the MOST important thing.

Do a pot luck....most people feel better when they can contribute to this type of communal meal.   You can order the turkey etc. already cooked form the grocery store.  Better yet, is there someone that can play hostess?  Let that person take care of the details and enjoy the day.

MommaReynolds
by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 10:33 AM

It looks like what i wanted to suggest has already been said! I just wanted to say best of luck to you with talking to your MIL about the dinner! Hopefully she'll be understanding being as it is most likely Nana's last year! If anything -- do it soley for Nana and MIL can get over the formality of it all!

karisrene
by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 11:00 AM

I would, hands down, say a DEFINITE NO.  Your doctor put you on bedrest for a reason and bedrest dhould be taken very seriously.  I spent 11 weeks on bedrest with my 1st and carried her to term because of it.  I spent 15 weeks on bedrest with my twins and delivered them at just under 26 weeks gestation.  I believe the biggest difference was that I had a toddler at home the second time around, and didn't adhere to strict bedrest like I should have.  I stayed in bed most of the time, but I did get up every evening to have dinner with my family.  By week 10 of the bedrest, I was in the hospital because by doctor wanted to make sure I wouldn't be tempted to get up.

You need to politely, but firmly, let your family know that there is good reason you are on bedrest and that doctor's don't resort to it lightly.  If you like, go to my flickr page (www.flickr.com/photos/kjacobstein) and have a look in the albums marked "Sarah" and "Benjamin".  Show the pics of my babies (born at 1 lb 11 oz and 2 lbs) to your families and let them know that that is what could happen if you don't take the bedrest seriously.  Ask your doctor to write a note on your behalf.  It's just not worth it.  Someone else should have already stepped up, given your situation, but since they haven't, advocate for yourself.  Remember, holiday dinners aren't just dinner.  There is cleaning, decorating, and preparing that usually takes days, if not weeks, for something like this.

I feel bad for you that you even have to ask this question...

karisrene. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
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