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Anyone else have trouble "splitting" holidays?

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:00 PM
  • 10 Replies

My DH and I have went around about this so many times, it gives me a headache. Both sides of my family live near us, but only his parents and one Grandmother live near us. So, we alternate Thanksgiving, (one year his family, one year, my family) spend a couple hours on December 23 with my dad's family and all day Christmas Eve with his mom and dad. Then, Christmas morning, we open presents here, then head to my parent's house for a bit to open presents there, and then spend a couple hours Christmas night with my mom's family.

So, how do you avoid the headache of "splitting" holidays, or is it a big pain for you like it is for me?

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:00 PM
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by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:10 PM

Holidays are very interesting for us.  We live 2 hours away from family so each year we drive to see them (they are only about 15 mins apart) and split our time with each.  We try to spend equal nights at each home and typically have a meal at both places for holidays.

Example: Thanksgiving lunch is at my aunts house.  Thanksgiving dinner is at my inlaws house.  Then after dinner we go to my husband's aunts to spend some time there.

Christmas eve we spend the day at my inlaws just hanging out or we go shopping.  Christmas Eve night we spend with my family.  We have a Christmas party there each year.  Christmas morning we are at my moms, Christmas afternoon we spend at my Grandma's, Christmas evening we have a meal and gifts at my inlaws.  Our son's presents from my husband and I are split and go to each home for him to open up.

Honestly I like doing it this way.  I don't think *I* could compromise and just go to one place per holiday.  I love seeing everyone and always having something to do.

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by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:15 PM

Quoting cheergurl84:

Honestly I like doing it this way.  I don't think *I* could compromise and just go to one place per holiday.  I love seeing everyone and always having something to do.

I feel the same way. I love seeing all my family every holiday, and mine live close enough for me to do that. But, my husband gets upset about my family getting more time for the holidays than his. But, it's not my fault, half his family lives 3.5 hours away.

Until this year, we've always gotten into an argument over Thanksgiving because, his parents feel that, since I get to see my family on Christmas (we spend the ENTIRE day of Christmas Eve with his parents and Grandmother) that they should get EVERY Thanksgiving. I'm sorry, not happening. They get a whole day for Christmas, they shouldn't get every Thanksgiving.

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:20 PM

My family lives up in NY while his is here in the area.  We travel up to NY for Thanksgiving and have Christmas with his family.  Traveling in upstate NY around Christmas is would involve more snow than hubby is comfortable with driving in, lol.

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:36 PM

I don't know if this could help you out, but why not having the holiday get together at your place? That way you won't need to drive to anyone's home.,,,They will go to your house instead.  Just a suggestion.

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 2:00 PM

our holiday season is a nightmare. we recently moved to the philadelphia area, and both our families live in massachusetts (about 15 minutes from one another). We alternate thanksgivings between my moms house and his parents house. this year we are at his parents house and my mom is upset about that, but we spent last thanksgiving with her, so it is as fair as it can get.

Christmas is a little more complicated. We stay at my mom's house xmas eve and then open gifts in the morning, then at 11 we head up to my inlaws house for dinner and presents. It is tricky balancing the holidays, and someone always gets their feelings hurt, but we try and work it out as fairly as we can.


by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 3:00 PM

My husband now hates Christmas because of this reason.  Our normal schedule was this.

X-mas Eve we would rush to my moms(15 minutes away) to open presents around 5pm (she has to work that day).  Hurry to pack them in the car drop them off at home.

Then we would drive 45 minutes to my Grandmas house from usually  7-11:30 pm.  Come back and pass our house to go to dh's brothers house to see his dads side of the family.  usually after midnight till 1 or 1:30 am

X-Mas morning wake up around 7 or 8, either rush to open our presents at home or get ready and drive a hour to my dads house, hurry to open presents there, load everything in the car drive 10 minutes away to my other grandmas by noon stay there until 3 or 3:30pm.  Drive 1 hour back towards our house to go to Dh's other brothers house to open presents with his moms side of the family by 5pm.  Then if we didnt open presents in the morning we get to open them at home around 8 or 9pm.

this caused so much stress and drama between us as soon as the kids were born, that last year we decided to spread everyone out.  We started inviting his dads side of the family over on the Sat. before or after xmas to our house for dinner and open presents then.  We would go to my dads on a friday evening to celebrate that day.  Go to my moms on a Sunday to watch the football games and make a whole day of it.  Then we go to my Grandmas on xmas eve, and his brothers on xmas evening.  this year my other grandma decided she is not doing xmas anymore, which sadly to say I am excited about because this will be the first year we can get up with the kids and relax and let them open and play with their presents without rushing all over the place.  So I will find time to visit her that week too. 

The way I see it it doesnt really matter what day it is.  We found a way last year to have 5 days of Christmas and we will do the same this year.  Christmas for us this year will start on Wed. evening Dec 23 and go through sun Dec. 27th.  No stress or rushing this way. 

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 3:03 PM

We don't do everything ON Christmas. We have Christmas here and then the next day, or day after that, we drive to NY to see my family and have another Christmas with them. DD's birthday is the 26th it ends being like 3 celebrations every year. Yeah's a headache but splitting it up makes it easier I think.

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 3:06 PM

Splitting up holidays always ends in mini-arguements for us!!! lol!! We just have so many people to see and so little time! 

   Happily married to my high school sweetheart, soul mate and best friend & Proud mommy of a beautiful princess and handsome little toddler prince!

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 3:12 PM

We made the easiest, yet most unpopular decision ever for holidays. :)

We stay home.

Yes, I said it. We stay home. We let our son enjoy his presents. We lay around leisurely in our pj's, and eat left over hors d'oeuvre from the Christmas party the night before. We turn all of the TVs on the "A Christmas Story" marathon on TBS, and we enjoy our day together.

My Mother-in-law comes over around 11AM to open gifts with us, and hang out a bit. My brother and SIL stop by on their massive parade of homes that they go on, so everyone sees them. We stay HOME. :)

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 3:42 PM

We split our holidays but Its not such a pain between DH and I as it is with my family that gets mad cause we spend the Holidays with the In-laws! Since they live by us...My family always wants us to come down for X-mas but they know we switch off every year..So this year it will be with the In-laws and With my family cause they are coming to my house this year the weekend befor X-mas and So it works out Perfect and we will spend Christmas Day with the In-laws! So It works out GREAT! 

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