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how would you feel about a person who.... *eta* *another edit!!* **and again!!!*

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has a child, has a job, and has a boyfriend (not the childs father). when she isnt working, shes with the boyfriend. she constantly drops her kid off either at great-grandmothers or at a babysitter...LIES about having to work just to see "boyfriend" and stays away from the child pretty much completely??

the child is 1.5yrs old...your niece. the girl is your SIL. shes been doing this ever since she met the guy. before she works and after work she is with the guy. only comes home to sleep, while kid is sleeping. gets up "pretends" she got called into work. on her days off she drops kid off wherever she can and goes to be with this guy. poor little girl doesnt understand why her mom isnt around!! she hasnt been being herself, extra fussy.

i feel bad for the little girl :( she got dropped of here yesterday morning at 7AM and didnt get picked up til 7AM this morning!!! why??? so she could "go to florida and mow/do yard work" with boyfriend!!!! she NEVER takes her kid anywhere with her!!!!!

ETA: there's no point in trying to talk to her...she feels shes doing nothing wrong. she thinks she is right about every single thing and everyone is wrong. theres no getting through to her. and sadly the ones watching the baby wont stand up and tell her no!

another edit for the confused lol:: the childs "father" is NOT my brother. i say shes my "sil" because my fiance is her brother. i also dont think shes a "horrible" mother, i do not agree with what shes doing...she did this with the last guy she was "with" but this time its lasting a lot longer...and its sad for the girl.

Another edit:: To get things straight.. *I* am not "enabling" her to do any of this. I stopped watching her child a long time ago after she refused to listen to me (and after she got yelled at by her mom to come back to get her child I told her to take with her!). The grandmother (The baby's great-grandmother) is allowing this..and so is the other babysitter. The child's father is with another girl...he left SIL when she was 6 months pregnant after he told her "if you get pregnant, i wont leave i'll be with you and i wont cheat" well...obvious lie. He with with that girl and she is now pregnant. The father is no better than the mother. She won't listen to ANYBODY about this stuff. The "boyfriend" knows about the child, they've all been around each other. But she always makes excuses as to why she can't bring the kid with her (we're going bowling..ok, put her in a stroller let her watch!) or does things JUST so she CAN leave her (going to the movies)...

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Replies (11-20):
proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 4:53 PM
yep. she wasnt ready for a baby but her "husband" at the time talked her into it saying "if you get pregnant, i wont leave or cheat on you" sure enough she gets pregnant...what does he do???? LEAVES!!! FOR ANOTHER GIRL!!!!

Quoting JeanZavala:

I've had a friend like that and I can understand your frustration. Some people just aren't mother figures and doesn't get the concept. In my friends case, she had a baby young and for the wrong reasons. She was a single mother and since the dad didn't want anything to do with her or the child, she didn't either. It's sad to say but some women are better off giving up their kids for adoption so they can have a better home rather than being raised in a broken home with no parents who wants them around. Just my opinion....
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JeanZavala
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:01 PM

Has anyone tried sitting down and having a serious talk with her? Maybe she needs an intervention? Some people just needs to be told to realize what's going on around them. 

proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:03 PM
nope!! they LET HER get away with it!!!

Quoting JeanZavala:

Has anyone tried sitting down and having a serious talk with her? Maybe she needs an intervention? Some people just needs to be told to realize what's going on around them. 

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proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:14 PM
wow i'd be angry!! ugg!!! people have no respect!! wow thats sad about the girl..hopefully she doesnt end up in jail later in life :/

Quoting ashleymosq:

Sad thing is that sounds like my SIL. Her dd is now 9 and she has done this ever since she had her. She has 4 kids total, but only has custody of one. She is always trying to find people to watch her dd so she can go off and do what she wants. The last time her dd stayed the night here was the day we had my Shylah's bday party. My niece came over after the party and stayed the night. The next day I had stuff I needed to get done, but it is impossible to get anything done with my niece here. I text my SIL about 11 to come get here. She didn't finally call us until after 5. She had my DH drop her dd off at a store for someone to come get. He didn't just leave her though. He waited until someone showed up. My SIL said that her phone died and the truck broke down. She called us from her phone to tell us to take her dd from the store. The next day she was running all over the place in the truck. It was a Sunday so there wasn't any place open to get the truck fixed and they are always broke so no one to pay to fix it. So yeah. This always happens with this girl. My DH wants to do something to help. We even considered trying to get custody of our niece, but this girl is bad. She lies, she steals, she teaches our DD horrible things. I know this little girl needs help, but we aren't able to give it. He don't want to call CPS, so I don't know what to do. Oh and it is the 9yr old that lies and steals.

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SammiBaby
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:21 PM

I wouldn't have any kind of respect for the person in question. Not as a person nor as a parent. I think that's just sad and pathetic. The only ones who SHOULD matter are the children and yet you have it happen so many times where parents choose to spend more quality time with their new boyfriends than the child they brought into the world.

I just feel sad for babies that are in situations like that. Makes me want to grab them up and love on them.

proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:25 PM
agree. i have no respect at all for her.

Quoting SammiBaby:

I wouldn't have any kind of respect for the person in question. Not as a person nor as a parent. I think that's just sad and pathetic. The only ones who SHOULD matter are the children and yet you have it happen so many times where parents choose to spend more quality time with their new boyfriends than the child they brought into the world.

I just feel sad for babies that are in situations like that. Makes me want to grab them up and love on them.

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ashleymosq
by Ruby Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:32 PM

She is going to be like her mom. That is so sad too. Her mom goes from guy to guy and sometimes gets a new guy while she is still with another. She goes where the money is. She is teaching her daughter that too. I hate it. Her daughter is already so much like her. At my youngest dd's bday party last July she had a bathing suit on and was telling my friend "omg, I hope I don't look fat in this." She was 8 at the time... She kept worrying about how she looked because my friend was there with her 2 sons. 

Quoting proudmommy690:

wow i'd be angry!! ugg!!! people have no respect!! wow thats sad about the girl..hopefully she doesnt end up in jail later in life :/

Quoting ashleymosq:

Sad thing is that sounds like my SIL. Her dd is now 9 and she has done this ever since she had her. She has 4 kids total, but only has custody of one. She is always trying to find people to watch her dd so she can go off and do what she wants. The last time her dd stayed the night here was the day we had my Shylah's bday party. My niece came over after the party and stayed the night. The next day I had stuff I needed to get done, but it is impossible to get anything done with my niece here. I text my SIL about 11 to come get here. She didn't finally call us until after 5. She had my DH drop her dd off at a store for someone to come get. He didn't just leave her though. He waited until someone showed up. My SIL said that her phone died and the truck broke down. She called us from her phone to tell us to take her dd from the store. The next day she was running all over the place in the truck. It was a Sunday so there wasn't any place open to get the truck fixed and they are always broke so no one to pay to fix it. So yeah. This always happens with this girl. My DH wants to do something to help. We even considered trying to get custody of our niece, but this girl is bad. She lies, she steals, she teaches our DD horrible things. I know this little girl needs help, but we aren't able to give it. He don't want to call CPS, so I don't know what to do. Oh and it is the 9yr old that lies and steals.


proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:40 PM
wow thats really sad and pathetic. what kid that age would care about how they look?? no kid should care. :( sad

Quoting ashleymosq:

She is going to be like her mom. That is so sad too. Her mom goes from guy to guy and sometimes gets a new guy while she is still with another. She goes where the money is. She is teaching her daughter that too. I hate it. Her daughter is already so much like her. At my youngest dd's bday party last July she had a bathing suit on and was telling my friend "omg, I hope I don't look fat in this." She was 8 at the time... She kept worrying about how she looked because my friend was there with her 2 sons. 

Quoting proudmommy690:

wow i'd be angry!! ugg!!! people have no respect!! wow thats sad about the girl..hopefully she doesnt end up in jail later in life :/



Quoting ashleymosq:

Sad thing is that sounds like my SIL. Her dd is now 9 and she has done this ever since she had her. She has 4 kids total, but only has custody of one. She is always trying to find people to watch her dd so she can go off and do what she wants. The last time her dd stayed the night here was the day we had my Shylah's bday party. My niece came over after the party and stayed the night. The next day I had stuff I needed to get done, but it is impossible to get anything done with my niece here. I text my SIL about 11 to come get here. She didn't finally call us until after 5. She had my DH drop her dd off at a store for someone to come get. He didn't just leave her though. He waited until someone showed up. My SIL said that her phone died and the truck broke down. She called us from her phone to tell us to take her dd from the store. The next day she was running all over the place in the truck. It was a Sunday so there wasn't any place open to get the truck fixed and they are always broke so no one to pay to fix it. So yeah. This always happens with this girl. My DH wants to do something to help. We even considered trying to get custody of our niece, but this girl is bad. She lies, she steals, she teaches our DD horrible things. I know this little girl needs help, but we aren't able to give it. He don't want to call CPS, so I don't know what to do. Oh and it is the 9yr old that lies and steals.


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slw123
by Shawna on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:11 PM

 What a sad life this litle girl has.

proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:18 PM
yep. :( even when the mom didnt have a boyfriend she'd work doubles at work just to stay away. :/

Quoting slw123:

 What a sad life this litle girl has.

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