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how would you feel about a person who.... *eta* *another edit!!* **and again!!!*

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has a child, has a job, and has a boyfriend (not the childs father). when she isnt working, shes with the boyfriend. she constantly drops her kid off either at great-grandmothers or at a babysitter...LIES about having to work just to see "boyfriend" and stays away from the child pretty much completely??

the child is 1.5yrs old...your niece. the girl is your SIL. shes been doing this ever since she met the guy. before she works and after work she is with the guy. only comes home to sleep, while kid is sleeping. gets up "pretends" she got called into work. on her days off she drops kid off wherever she can and goes to be with this guy. poor little girl doesnt understand why her mom isnt around!! she hasnt been being herself, extra fussy.

i feel bad for the little girl :( she got dropped of here yesterday morning at 7AM and didnt get picked up til 7AM this morning!!! why??? so she could "go to florida and mow/do yard work" with boyfriend!!!! she NEVER takes her kid anywhere with her!!!!!

ETA: there's no point in trying to talk to her...she feels shes doing nothing wrong. she thinks she is right about every single thing and everyone is wrong. theres no getting through to her. and sadly the ones watching the baby wont stand up and tell her no!

another edit for the confused lol:: the childs "father" is NOT my brother. i say shes my "sil" because my fiance is her brother. i also dont think shes a "horrible" mother, i do not agree with what shes doing...she did this with the last guy she was "with" but this time its lasting a lot longer...and its sad for the girl.

Another edit:: To get things straight.. *I* am not "enabling" her to do any of this. I stopped watching her child a long time ago after she refused to listen to me (and after she got yelled at by her mom to come back to get her child I told her to take with her!). The grandmother (The baby's great-grandmother) is allowing this..and so is the other babysitter. The child's father is with another girl...he left SIL when she was 6 months pregnant after he told her "if you get pregnant, i wont leave i'll be with you and i wont cheat" well...obvious lie. He with with that girl and she is now pregnant. The father is no better than the mother. She won't listen to ANYBODY about this stuff. The "boyfriend" knows about the child, they've all been around each other. But she always makes excuses as to why she can't bring the kid with her (we're going bowling..ok, put her in a stroller let her watch!) or does things JUST so she CAN leave her (going to the movies)...

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Replies (21-30):
Sophie4910
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:31 PM

 I try not to judge. I cant truly understand the situation because I am not your SIL. I think everyone has thier own crosses to bear. I do feel bad for the little girl not being around her mom. I would talk to her and let her know you think her daughter misses her. But other than that I think the ball is out of your court.

mamivon2
by Sandra on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:34 PM

sounds like my real life niece....

proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:35 PM
i try not to either...but she acts like this guy is way more important than her own daughter. i dont talk to her...but the little girl is always here (we live with df's grandma) so i see/hear everything. you can talk til you're blue in the face but nothing will change.

Quoting Sophie4910:

 I try not to judge. I cant truly understand the situation because I am not your SIL. I think everyone has thier own crosses to bear. I do feel bad for the little girl not being around her mom. I would talk to her and let her know you think her daughter misses her. But other than that I think the ball is out of your court.

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proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:36 PM
its my "stb" sil and her daughter. its pathetic :(

Quoting mamivon2:

sounds like my real life niece....

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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:30 PM
Its unfortunate I feel bad for the little girl. At least she has you guys to love her
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proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:42 PM
yep at least someone takes care of her! its ridiculous how she just stopped caring about her (well to me thats how it seems). hell me and df used to watch her and she kept using us...one day i got extremely pissed off about it and i refuse to watch her...its not that i dont care about her but i got tired of being used and ignored!!

Quoting LifeCafe42:

Its unfortunate I feel bad for the little girl. At least she has you guys to love her
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hfaddis
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this

wow.... kids are a gift, not a piece of luggage to pawn of on whoever whenever to go be with your boy toy, way i see it if boyfriend wants to be boyfriend to a mom then they should BOTH be wanting to be with the child... =(

proudmommy690
by Christa on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:36 PM
i completely agree!! heres the kicker...HE has kids of his own, in florida!! he should know better than to keep her from her child...but then again, im not sure how much he sees his own kids.

Quoting hfaddis:

wow.... kids are a gift, not a piece of luggage to pawn of on whoever whenever to go be with your boy toy, way i see it if boyfriend wants to be boyfriend to a mom then they should BOTH be wanting to be with the child... =(

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Leelee1008
by Alicia on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:45 PM

I would honestly call her out on it. Sadly this happens more than a little bit.

Quoting proudmommy690:

shes 25!! shes 6 months younger than me. but get this...she thinks she knows EVERYTHING about parenting and blah blah.

Quoting BeachMommy07:

How old is she christa? sounds like her priorities are mixed up.


LilMissCupcake
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:42 AM

i would feel bad for the child poor thing

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