how would you feel about a person who.... *eta* *another edit!!* **and again!!!*
has a child, has a job, and has a boyfriend (not the childs father). when she isnt working, shes with the boyfriend. she constantly drops her kid off either at great-grandmothers or at a babysitter...LIES about having to work just to see "boyfriend" and stays away from the child pretty much completely??
the child is 1.5yrs old...your niece. the girl is your SIL. shes been doing this ever since she met the guy. before she works and after work she is with the guy. only comes home to sleep, while kid is sleeping. gets up "pretends" she got called into work. on her days off she drops kid off wherever she can and goes to be with this guy. poor little girl doesnt understand why her mom isnt around!! she hasnt been being herself, extra fussy.
i feel bad for the little girl :( she got dropped of here yesterday morning at 7AM and didnt get picked up til 7AM this morning!!! why??? so she could "go to florida and mow/do yard work" with boyfriend!!!! she NEVER takes her kid anywhere with her!!!!!
ETA: there's no point in trying to talk to her...she feels shes doing nothing wrong. she thinks she is right about every single thing and everyone is wrong. theres no getting through to her. and sadly the ones watching the baby wont stand up and tell her no!
another edit for the confused lol:: the childs "father" is NOT my brother. i say shes my "sil" because my fiance is her brother. i also dont think shes a "horrible" mother, i do not agree with what shes doing...she did this with the last guy she was "with" but this time its lasting a lot longer...and its sad for the girl.
Another edit:: To get things straight.. *I* am not "enabling" her to do any of this. I stopped watching her child a long time ago after she refused to listen to me (and after she got yelled at by her mom to come back to get her child I told her to take with her!). The grandmother (The baby's great-grandmother) is allowing this..and so is the other babysitter. The child's father is with another girl...he left SIL when she was 6 months pregnant after he told her "if you get pregnant, i wont leave i'll be with you and i wont cheat" well...obvious lie. He with with that girl and she is now pregnant. The father is no better than the mother. She won't listen to ANYBODY about this stuff. The "boyfriend" knows about the child, they've all been around each other. But she always makes excuses as to why she can't bring the kid with her (we're going bowling..ok, put her in a stroller let her watch!) or does things JUST so she CAN leave her (going to the movies)...
Quoting EmoMommyFUFU:
Call the boyfriend. Let him know that his new girlfriend is a shitty mother. When she comes to you slap her shitless. While she cries tell her whay a piece of yrash she has become and that her baby is going to be a meth user because she abandons him. threaten to call cps if she does not accept motherhood. And then kick her the fuck out of your home and dont let het back in unless she os visoting WITH the baby.
Ok so the name calling and violence is not going to help in this matter. Intervention needs to take place and if she still does not see anything wrong with what she is doing, somebody needs to go through the right channels to take her away from her defective mother and let some couple who can't have children adopt her. Or if someone in her own family wants her that is even better because she will still be with famliy members but will be loved. Then that defective mom needs her tubes tied.
I love my boys
This girl is a borderline "Casey Anthony"! Tell the boyfriend that he needs to help the girl be a parent not a loser mom. Cuz if he really cared for her he would encourage the baby to go along. Maybe make compromises take baby to park to hangout then later on take GF out to dinner for a lil alone time. It doesnt have to be all the time but make an effort to be a "good guy" he doesnt have to be the baby daddy just a positive influence. Tell him he is making a bad impression on the family and if he doesnt care about the GF's baby girl and only see this as a whatever relationship then he better just leave the girl now before things get worse! Next thingyou know she'll be missig work to be with him and ten hve no income and put even more pressure on the family. I've seen this happen before and it never turns out good in the end especially for the child. We as mom's/family need to ntervene more when our hearst and instinct tell us something isnt right,we as a society believe too much in "minding our own business" but when a child turns up missing/dead or injured we then begin to blame ourselves by saying " oh I shuold have said something or I should done this or that" As much as your SIL hates being told hat to do keep telling her keep it known to her rthat your not letting up and that her baby is gonna start resenting her at an early age! And dont be afraid to approach the boyfriend! Heck tell him that you understand the child isnt his resposibility but does he want to be responsible for a mother become careless for her child and god forbid soemthing bad happen to the baby because of their careless behaviour?
I don't understand how any Mother could treat a child like that. I don't understand how any human could look into those sweet, innocent eyes & purposely do harm!!! I'm glad you have more sense than she does!!!
Quoting proudmommy690:
i did in replies...shes 25yrs old (im also 25, 26 in a couple weeks)... i wish she would understand. i couldnt do that to my kids, i have 3.
Quoting LadyMarissa:This story makes me want to cry. I feel soooo sad for that child & I feel soooo sad for the mother!!! Obviously, nobody will be nominating her for Mother of the Year. You didn't say how old she is, but she sounds very young &/or very immature!!! The only way to make her take care of her child is for everybody to stop catering to her!!! Sadly, if forced to become the mother she should be, my guess is that she'll resent it & the child will suffer even more!!! :(( If the child is removed from her custody, she'll resent it & use it as a cause to be a martyr. The child will go into the foster care system & could end up in an even worse situation. The only solution I can come up with is for the child's extended family to step in & do their best to take care of her. She's not old enough to understand what's going on. This mother will be repaid in spades as the child gets older!!!
Smarter Style: What to Wear – The Wedding Edition
- proudmommy690
on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:55 PM