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how would you feel about a person who.... *eta* *another edit!!* **and again!!!*

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has a child, has a job, and has a boyfriend (not the childs father). when she isnt working, shes with the boyfriend. she constantly drops her kid off either at great-grandmothers or at a babysitter...LIES about having to work just to see "boyfriend" and stays away from the child pretty much completely??

the child is 1.5yrs old...your niece. the girl is your SIL. shes been doing this ever since she met the guy. before she works and after work she is with the guy. only comes home to sleep, while kid is sleeping. gets up "pretends" she got called into work. on her days off she drops kid off wherever she can and goes to be with this guy. poor little girl doesnt understand why her mom isnt around!! she hasnt been being herself, extra fussy.

i feel bad for the little girl :( she got dropped of here yesterday morning at 7AM and didnt get picked up til 7AM this morning!!! why??? so she could "go to florida and mow/do yard work" with boyfriend!!!! she NEVER takes her kid anywhere with her!!!!!

ETA: there's no point in trying to talk to her...she feels shes doing nothing wrong. she thinks she is right about every single thing and everyone is wrong. theres no getting through to her. and sadly the ones watching the baby wont stand up and tell her no!

another edit for the confused lol:: the childs "father" is NOT my brother. i say shes my "sil" because my fiance is her brother. i also dont think shes a "horrible" mother, i do not agree with what shes doing...she did this with the last guy she was "with" but this time its lasting a lot longer...and its sad for the girl.

Another edit:: To get things straight.. *I* am not "enabling" her to do any of this. I stopped watching her child a long time ago after she refused to listen to me (and after she got yelled at by her mom to come back to get her child I told her to take with her!). The grandmother (The baby's great-grandmother) is allowing this..and so is the other babysitter. The child's father is with another girl...he left SIL when she was 6 months pregnant after he told her "if you get pregnant, i wont leave i'll be with you and i wont cheat" well...obvious lie. He with with that girl and she is now pregnant. The father is no better than the mother. She won't listen to ANYBODY about this stuff. The "boyfriend" knows about the child, they've all been around each other. But she always makes excuses as to why she can't bring the kid with her (we're going bowling..ok, put her in a stroller let her watch!) or does things JUST so she CAN leave her (going to the movies)...

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Replies (381-390):
by on May. 4, 2012 at 8:30 PM
dont get me wrong..i'd love a night out without the kids lol... but not act like shes doing...she takes it too far.

Quoting LadyMarissa:

I don't understand how any Mother could treat a child like that.  I don't understand how any human could look into those sweet, innocent eyes & purposely do harm!!!  I'm glad you have more sense than she does!!!

Quoting proudmommy690:

i did in replies...shes 25yrs old (im also 25, 26 in a couple weeks)... i wish she would understand. i couldnt do that to my kids, i have 3.

Quoting LadyMarissa:

This story makes me want to cry.  I feel soooo sad for that child & I feel soooo sad for the mother!!!  Obviously, nobody will be nominating her for Mother of the Year.  You didn't say how old she is, but she sounds very young &/or very immature!!!  The only way to make her take care of her child is for everybody to stop catering to her!!!  Sadly, if forced to become the mother she should be, my guess is that she'll resent it & the child will suffer even more!!!  :((    If the child is removed from her custody, she'll resent it & use it as a cause to be a martyr.  The child will go into the foster care system & could end up in an even worse situation.  The only solution I can come up with is for the child's extended family to step in & do their best to take care of her.  She's not old enough to understand what's going on.  This mother will be repaid in spades as the child gets older!!!

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by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:32 AM

Does the guy she is with now know she has a child? To me there is NO excuse for a Mother to behave this way ... I feel is she is not ready and willing to give her daughter the attention and love she needs to grow the lil one is better off being in the custody of someone else. I dont understand how someone could find it in themselves to lie just becuase they dont want to be around their child. I have a two and a half year old and I miss him when I was working and going to school... So I took a break from both because I hated being away from him more than i was with him ... I just dont understand people like this .... I hope for her daughter's sake she pulls herslef and her priorities in order and fast ! As for the great grandmother and the baby sitter they  need to stop watching the baby so often unless they are afraid your SIL will leave her daughter with someone or noone at all. Not insinuating she WOULD do something like that , i don't know her from a hole in the grond ..

by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:34 AM

Awe........... That is very sad.......... :-(

by on May. 5, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Poor kiddo
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by on May. 5, 2012 at 7:03 PM
Poor kid
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by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:48 PM

Sad that the mother behaves like this, but at least there is someone there for the baby. I know everyone has been talking about how this mother needs to be forced to take care of her baby, but it sounds like her baby IS being taken care of. She leaves the baby in someone's care who can take better care of it than she does. 

How many mothers are forced to spend time with children that they obviously don't want to spend time with and who ends up getting hurt? The child. At least this way the baby is being loved and nutured by someone. 

Yes an ideal situation would be the mother stepping up and doing what is right, but that is probably not going to happen. 

I hope the person who is taking care of the baby realizes what a gift she is to this child's life.

by on May. 6, 2012 at 11:10 PM

Wow, sad

by on May. 7, 2012 at 2:07 AM

I dislike mothers that have their priorities miexed up and spend more time with the boyfriend or whoever then with their own child,thats just not right:\

by on May. 7, 2012 at 5:39 PM

I disagree with those who say that everyone is taking care of your neice is enabling mom and needs to stop.  Yes it probably is enabling mom, but let's see this from the child's stand point.  Right now she has people who truely love her and have her best interest at heart.  If everyone tells mom 'we won't watch her any more'  who knows what kind of people she'll leave her with?  I would much rather have people who truely love this little girl take care of her and enable mom then risk the alternative.

That said I would prefer one person/couple decide they will be her parents and sue for permanant custody.  This should be discussed by all and everyone else should back them up.  Everyone needs to document all the care they have provided in the past (if you can only write down from memory do it), any conversations with anyone regarding this and all future events.

While this is going on always keep the child in mind and let her know she is loved.

by on May. 7, 2012 at 9:38 PM

sounds like her priorities arent in order

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