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do you think it's rude of the parent or the guest???

Posted by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:15 PM
  • 46 Replies
Okay here's my question...when attending a childs birthday party do you always come bearing a gift and if so how much should this gift be worth???

Now let's put the shoe on the other foot...when a child is attending your childs birthday party do you think that child should bring your kid a gift...and do you think a certain amout of money should be spent on your kiddo???

Or (because there is always another idea/opinion)...do you think birthday presants are okay and it doesn't matter how much money is spent as long as the presants are opened after the party and thank you cards are sent out...that way no one gets upset...

Just curious...
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by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sweetpea1269
by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:25 PM
My son just turned 8. He wanted to play lazer tag for his bday. I let him invite 2 friends we knew would be able to go (I don't do parties because you invite the class and no one rsvps or shows half the time). We did pizza at CiCi's, ice cream at Friendly's and lazer tag. I told the parents no gift was expected. They sent cards with cash anyway. My son hasn't been to a bday party in a while, they're always inconvenient...
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mamivon2
by Sandra on May. 7, 2012 at 1:29 PM

Most people we know dont have much money. They live paycheck to paycheck.. so I know in advance that they most likley wont be able to get my kids a present.. so when they tell me that they cant get them a present thats fine with.. most the time I tell them anyways not to worry about...

When I started to take my kids to parties at first they didnt understand that only the birthday child was getting present... I dont think there is anything wrong with the birthdaychild opening present in front of other kids.. thats how we do it anyways...

slw123
by Shawna on May. 7, 2012 at 1:30 PM

We don't do huge parties.  My kids will invite their closest friends and I always tell the parents to not send a gift.....and they do anyways.  But yes, we always bring a gift when we go to a party. I don't think it matters how much you spend for a gift, that it should be what the individual can afford.  Some people don't blink an eye about spending $30 for a gift, but others struggle with $7 and that's ok too.  To me, the party is about getting friends together to celebrate......but I know that to some kids it's about the gift.   We always tell our kids not to expect gifts, but to make sure they let the giver know how thankful they are when they get one.

Rain2Rinse
by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:30 PM
I would never show up to a party empty handed. I don't even go over friends houses without bringing a little something. That being said, I don't expect people to give DD gifts at her party. She receives so many gifts from us, grandparents(6 sets!), aunts and uncles.... it wouldn't matter if not a single guest brought a gift. I just want her to enjoy hanging out with her friends.
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jpalmer
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2012 at 1:34 PM
Get off cafemom and go to the doctor!!! Don't make me come get you!!! It will be a LONG drive but i will do this!!! Lol

Quoting Rain2Rinse:

I would never show up to a party empty handed. I don't even go over friends houses without bringing a little something. That being said, I don't expect people to give DD gifts at her party. She receives so many gifts from us, grandparents(6 sets!), aunts and uncles.... it wouldn't matter if not a single guest brought a gift. I just want her to enjoy hanging out with her friends.
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Rain2Rinse
by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:35 PM
Stop yelling at me, mom! I'm a few minutes away. I swear! Lol

Quoting jpalmer:

Get off cafemom and go to the doctor!!! Don't make me come get you!!! It will be a LONG drive but i will do this!!! Lol



Quoting Rain2Rinse:

I would never show up to a party empty handed. I don't even go over friends houses without bringing a little something. That being said, I don't expect people to give DD gifts at her party. She receives so many gifts from us, grandparents(6 sets!), aunts and uncles.... it wouldn't matter if not a single guest brought a gift. I just want her to enjoy hanging out with her friends.
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jpalmer
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2012 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this
GOOD!!! Txt me and let me know when you are done...and don't worry it will all be okay...

Quoting Rain2Rinse:

Stop yelling at me, mom! I'm a few minutes away. I swear! Lol



Quoting jpalmer:

Get off cafemom and go to the doctor!!! Don't make me come get you!!! It will be a LONG drive but i will do this!!! Lol





Quoting Rain2Rinse:

I would never show up to a party empty handed. I don't even go over friends houses without bringing a little something. That being said, I don't expect people to give DD gifts at her party. She receives so many gifts from us, grandparents(6 sets!), aunts and uncles.... it wouldn't matter if not a single guest brought a gift. I just want her to enjoy hanging out with her friends.
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jpalmer
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2012 at 1:41 PM
Same here...we don't expect gifts we'er just greatful if the kiddos show up...lol

If they bring a gift it's fine and if they don't that's fine too...lol


Quoting slw123:

We don't do huge parties.  My kids will invite their closest friends and I always tell the parents to not send a gift.....and they do anyways.  But yes, we always bring a gift when we go to a party. I don't think it matters how much you spend for a gift, that it should be what the individual can afford.  Some people don't blink an eye about spending $30 for a gift, but others struggle with $7 and that's ok too.  To me, the party is about getting friends together to celebrate......but I know that to some kids it's about the gift.   We always tell our kids not to expect gifts, but to make sure they let the giver know how thankful they are when they get one.

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Firenygirl180
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2012 at 1:41 PM

DS is turning 1 in June.  I am including his current clothing sizes and a few toys that would go with things we got him.  All the toys will be under $10 and most are actually under $5.  I know I won't be able to do that when he gets older, but I can now and I will also add on the bottom of the "wishlist" that presents are not necessary.

I plan to keep track of what he gets from who and a rough estimate of the cost so that when the rest of the birthdays for my friends kids roll around I can buy their child a gift that costs about the same as what they spent on my son.  DS is June, then there is a birthday August 27th, Sept 8, and then not again until November.  So for now he is the first birthday of the year.

I wouldn't show up at anyone's house for a get together without bringing something.  If it was a party like someone described where you took your ds and 2 friends to laser tag then I would definitely tell the parents not to send gifts.

I also prefer money to presents.  That way I can use it for things I need or save it for something big that I want.  

nlonnon
by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:42 PM

We always take gifts to kids birthday parties.  We do have a budget of $20 per kid and my children know and stick to this.  With there being so many class parties and such with no limit it can get out of hand (that includes wrapping paper/cards).  Our God children we will spend more on and that's the only exception.  I do not expect anyone to bring gifts to my children.  I always get uncomfortable when people ask me what they want.  I tell them to bring whatever or nothing.  Our kids also have to write thank you notes before they are allowed to play with their gifts (other than what DH and I give them) and this goes for birthdays and Christmas.

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