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is it really so hard?

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 yesterday was my son's 5th birthday & other than my mom who is down visiting non of my family called to wish him a happy birthday let alone send him a card or gift.  it's not the first time it's happened to my kids so it doesn't surprise me just irratates the heck out of me.

i'm the youngest of 6, my two children are the youngest of the grandkids & are even younger than some of the great grandkids.  in total there are 20 grandkids.  i don't buy presents for all of them, once they're out of high school they get a card or happy birthday phone call, but i do acknowledge their birthdays, as i do for my siblings.  (i admit i don't remember all my bil's & sil's b-days ;o)  yet my kids don't get the same.  i'm used to the "out of site out of mind" b.s. i've always been overlooked when it comes to many things in my family & that's fine for me, less drama, but it does bother the kids, especially my oldest, that their aunts, uncles, cousins rarely wish them a happy birthday.  it also bothers here they all spell her name wrong but that's another vent.

one of my sisters called last night to talk to my mom about some neighbor drama of hers.  i heard my mom mention my son's birthday to her yet even then she couldn't take 2 minutes to say happy birthday to him.  my daughter is having her birthday party tomorrow (her b-day is 8/22 & i like to have the party before school starts & while my mom is here to help out) & my son will be getting some presents from some of her friends because a couple always bring a birthday present for him when they come to her party.  yesterday was my first day back at work & some of the teachers remembered it was my son's birthday & told me to give him birthday hugs from them.

i just don't get why it's so hard for my family to call & say happy birthday to my kids!  yet if i don't call, send a card or gift they all think i'm upset about something!  uhg family!!!

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 8:25 AM
Replies (21-30):
Luvmybooskies
by Tiff on Aug. 3, 2012 at 7:32 PM

It would hurt my feelings if our family did that to my kids. There's NO excuse for not at least calling with a "Happy Birthday". 

powow65
by kimmy on Aug. 3, 2012 at 8:38 PM
I cry about my 'Mother side of the family' b/c THEY KNOW we're always broke!
& I barely ask anything from them! All I ask is a card or a gift card to Walmart for DD's clothes for both Christmas & her Bday! So sad they won't help they're own blood.
Smfh
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Godspitgrl
by Nychole on Aug. 3, 2012 at 8:47 PM
I completely understand none of my kids get anyone that comes over or anything.
lizzig
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2012 at 9:57 AM

 i know that's hard mama!  i don't even care if they buy them gifts or not.  my husband make the least of any of my siblings yet i'm still able to buy my nieces & nephews a little something for their birthdays & christmas, but they can't even afford to make a quick phone call?  it's irritating & sad.

Quoting powow65:

I cry about my 'Mother side of the family' b/c THEY KNOW we're always broke!
& I barely ask anything from them! All I ask is a card or a gift card to Walmart for DD's clothes for both Christmas & her Bday! So sad they won't help they're own blood.
Smfh

 

lizzig
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2012 at 10:00 AM

 as i said i don't care & expect it when it comes to me but since it upsets my kids, well more so my daughter, that's what gets me.  it's kinda like do what you want to me but don't hurt my little ones!

Quoting suroundedbyboys:

My dads mom ie my grandma spelled my name with an e instead of an i for years, as in Tesha, and she pronounced it that way too. I never said anything, just always wrote my name correctly at some point she switched to the right spelling and pronunciation idk when. Anyways, I wouldn't stress over the birthday thing, just do what you do with whatever family is around and friends and don't stress about the rest. I use to get really upset about the way my inlaws play favorites with sil's kids, then I decided it wasn't worth my time to worry about them and honestly I've been a lot happier since. I don't expect anything from them so I'm never disappointed, just slightly irritated with their behavior, I then remind myself I am a better person and my family is a better family and all is right in my world :)

 

powow65
by kimmy on Aug. 5, 2012 at 10:11 AM
i cant even see my only 2Neices! Smfh. Im to the point where im ready to "disown" my own "mother side family" & be only with my dad side of the family. & be a great "step-mom" ever!

Quoting lizzig:

 i know that's hard mama!  i don't even care if they buy them gifts or not.  my husband make the least of any of my siblings yet i'm still able to buy my nieces & nephews a little something for their birthdays & christmas, but they can't even afford to make a quick phone call?  it's irritating & sad.


Quoting powow65:

I cry about my 'Mother side of the family' b/c THEY KNOW we're always broke!
& I barely ask anything from them! All I ask is a card or a gift card to Walmart for DD's clothes for both Christmas & her Bday! So sad they won't help they're own blood.
Smfh

 

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lizzig
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2012 at 10:26 AM

 ;o)  one of my sisters got pissed with me for something i said to here when i was 20-21, i'm 37 now.  since then she wouldn't let me have anything to do with her children & they weren't even allowed to accept presents from me.  i had to give them to my mom to wrap up with hers but my nephew knew they were from me.  he was old enough, tweens, to know granma wouldn't buy him such. ;o)  when he turned 18 & walked away from his mom & all her b.s. he got in touch with me & we built our relationship back.  now he has children of his own, close in age to mine (my nephew is only 7 years younger than me), so we get together when we can.  his sister on the other hand was little enough when this all started so she doesn't really remember me.  she just graduated from college & i have seen her a few times the last few years but i know we won't really ever have a relationship like i wish we could.

Quoting powow65:

i cant even see my only 2Neices! Smfh. Im to the point where im ready to "disown" my own "mother side family" & be only with my dad side of the family. & be a great "step-mom" ever!

Quoting lizzig:

 i know that's hard mama!  i don't even care if they buy them gifts or not.  my husband make the least of any of my siblings yet i'm still able to buy my nieces & nephews a little something for their birthdays & christmas, but they can't even afford to make a quick phone call?  it's irritating & sad.


Quoting powow65:

I cry about my 'Mother side of the family' b/c THEY KNOW we're always broke!
& I barely ask anything from them! All I ask is a card or a gift card to Walmart for DD's clothes for both Christmas & her Bday! So sad they won't help they're own blood.
Smfh

 

 

othermom
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2012 at 10:55 AM

It is a bummer that they don't. But it is the same way in my family. The grandparents and my brother call. Their three great grandmas do send cards though, well one sends a gift

DelilahsMom4108
by Jeni on Aug. 5, 2012 at 11:15 AM
I'm sorry that's a shame...birthdays are a big deal in my family.
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alliesmom112
by on Aug. 5, 2012 at 4:02 PM

That stinks momma. I know some of my brothers and sisters forget dd's bday because we live so far away so they don't comt to her party or anything

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