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Smarter Living: Dealing with family during the holidays

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Many of us are wrapping up gifts, packing up suitcase to travel to be with family...a good thing, a thing we all are craving these days after our world has shaken been, again. But even sometimes, family can be tough to deal with.

Mamajamma writes: "I love my family. I do. Even their flaws. But we see each other at the holidays, those flaws are magnified. I try my best to deal with arrogant behavior or kids who are spoiled or those relatives that just sit there and expect the rest of us to wait on them...but it's tough. What's the best way to deal with the not-so-great parts of family gatherings?"

First and foremost, we love our families. Period. That isn't in question, but sometimes scurrying around to get stuff done while others don't lift a finger or tackling a kid who has less-than-stellar manners and demands you to do things, well, it can take the joy out of the most joyous time of year.

The main idea is to adjust your expectations. People don't change overnight. Be prepared mentally. If your mother-in-law tends to hand out nagging comments, tell yourself this year isn't going to change, but maybe have a internal game where you guess how many she doles out. Or that 12-year-old who has never heard the word "No?" Have him help you, give him little tasks to keep him busy.

These ideas won't change the behavior of folks, but at least it can help you control how you react to them. Ahead of time, plan a mantra to keep your own emotions in check when your Uncle John goes on Uninformed Political Tirade #12 of the day.

Are you gathering with family this holiday season? How do you handle tricky situations with your family?

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by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Replies (31-40):
JerseyGirl511
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:53 PM

We all gather at my brother's house on Christmas Eve then have Christmas dinner at my mom's house.  Sometimes things happen and I just try to ignore it.

ethans_momma06
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 1:03 PM

No family for us this year!

alliesmom112
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 4:06 PM

We will be spending a week at my parents house after Christmas. 

brownhoney21
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 4:16 PM

 Yes I will be gathering with family we all get along very well. I am not a tolerater don't bring none want be none.Most of my family is like this we only have one sil that likes drama and you best believe someone will shut her up quick.Her family is all about drama.

nngmommy83
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 4:22 PM

were very close to family year round so it's no different around the holidays

amyjane22
by Amy on Dec. 21, 2012 at 4:40 PM

I don't agree with everything all my family does, but we still get along.  It's about cherishing the time you have together and overlooking the small stuff.

mommythree0508
by Corinne on Dec. 21, 2012 at 6:48 PM


Quoting delanna6two:

Sometimes things can get challenging...

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onecuteladybug2
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 9:25 PM

We are sticking with very small gatherings with specific members of the family. That is our go to solution when it comes to my family and holidays.

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taniamorse85
by Gold Member on Dec. 22, 2012 at 1:09 AM

As long as we don't talk about politics, everyone makes it out alive!  lol

Bluetick
by on Dec. 22, 2012 at 1:12 AM
I run and hide under any rock I can find until the in laws leave and I do not go see my family since they only want to fight and argue
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