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Smarter Living: Dealing with family during the holidays

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Many of us are wrapping up gifts, packing up suitcase to travel to be with family...a good thing, a thing we all are craving these days after our world has shaken been, again. But even sometimes, family can be tough to deal with.

Mamajamma writes: "I love my family. I do. Even their flaws. But we see each other at the holidays, those flaws are magnified. I try my best to deal with arrogant behavior or kids who are spoiled or those relatives that just sit there and expect the rest of us to wait on them...but it's tough. What's the best way to deal with the not-so-great parts of family gatherings?"

First and foremost, we love our families. Period. That isn't in question, but sometimes scurrying around to get stuff done while others don't lift a finger or tackling a kid who has less-than-stellar manners and demands you to do things, well, it can take the joy out of the most joyous time of year.

The main idea is to adjust your expectations. People don't change overnight. Be prepared mentally. If your mother-in-law tends to hand out nagging comments, tell yourself this year isn't going to change, but maybe have a internal game where you guess how many she doles out. Or that 12-year-old who has never heard the word "No?" Have him help you, give him little tasks to keep him busy.

These ideas won't change the behavior of folks, but at least it can help you control how you react to them. Ahead of time, plan a mantra to keep your own emotions in check when your Uncle John goes on Uninformed Political Tirade #12 of the day.

Are you gathering with family this holiday season? How do you handle tricky situations with your family?

Š saw 

by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Replies (41-48):
by Member on Dec. 24, 2012 at 5:01 AM

Quoting aneela:

we have  no family around...

I do but the relationships are peacefully its my dh and our kids on the holidays.

by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 5:03 AM
Yes we are but its nice because we don't see each other that oftened
by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 7:52 AM
Quoting MomTiara19:

With my family, toxic is an understatement. lol.
by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 1:59 PM

I have to spend it with my Mom, who wishes my hubby would go away,so that I can take care of her in her old age, while living life as an old, 40 something spinster, with my 7 year old. I overlook the selfishness, wait on her hand and foot, and pray everyone acts ok.

by on Dec. 25, 2012 at 6:34 PM

ear plugs work great ! lol

by New Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 6:34 PM

I leave tomorrow, thank God. My father is just so RUDE

by Ruby Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:54 PM

Quoting bether89:

 The holidays are a time of close quarters and lots of family in a small area.  I remind myself to use my good manners, enjoy the company of loved ones and ignore those who forget to use their good manners.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Ruby Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:54 PM

Quoting donnag013:

I leave tomorrow, thank God. My father is just so RUDE

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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