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Am I being mean?

Posted by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:12 PM
  • 18 Replies
My neice is 10 years old and she has a lot of issues, but one of those issues is that she cries about everything. She cries when her homework is too hard, when I yelk at her for not listening or hurting her younger sister, and sometimes I am not even sure why she cries. I have noticed that she cries most when we are around my mother because she gets babied. I refuse to baby a ten year old. Its time to grow up little girl.

Anyway we all went to an amusement park and the cousins were all playing in the bounce house. It was time to get out and I asked her to help DS (age 3) out. She started dragging him by his wrist and she was twisting it.... DS started to cry out so I immediated told her to let go of his hand. She didnt so one of the attendants saw what was happening and stepped in to help. I yelled at her when she got out for not listening. She immediately ran to my mother crying. Needless to say my mom was pissed off at me. She told me I was picking on her.

Am I being mean?
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by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
louiegirl62
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, stop yelling and try a calm/quiet voice so she can listen. 

slw123
by Shawna on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I have a 10 year old daughter.  What you are describing sounds just like a 10 year old.  The crying......hormones are starting to take over.  Dragging little brother instead of just saying 'we have to go now'.....that's what my daughter would do.  Running to someone else for attention because you yelled at her.....yep, my daughter runs to my husband when she's in trouble.

The previous poster is exactly right though, talking in a quiet voice makes it so much easier to communicate without crying and drama. 

frndlyfn
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:21 PM
1 mom liked this

Why are you constantly yelling at anyone?   I am an easy crier so yelling does start the waterworks for me and it is out of my control.   Try using a firm, low tone of voice that is calm when speaking to anyone for discipline or otherwise.   I do a sharp "Hey ! "to get dd attention and then a calm voice.

Who has custody of the children?  She could be just over sensitive or still hurt from something in her past.

What are her consequences when she does not follow a rule?  At this age, you can have her go to her room to calm herself down and you can calm yourself down in the meantime as well.  Then proceed to explain what she did wrong in the situation at hand.

Wish2Be
by Michelle on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:27 PM
My sister has custody of her but my mother had custody of her for about three years prior.

I watch them three days a week after school and during breaks she goes to my moms. She doesnt respind to firm tones. Her mother and my mother are yellers.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Why are you constantly yelling at anyone?   I am an easy crier so yelling does start the waterworks for me and it is out of my control.   Try using a firm, low tone of voice that is calm when speaking to anyone for discipline or otherwise.   I do a sharp "Hey ! "to get dd attention and then a calm voice.

Who has custody of the children?  She could be just over sensitive or still hurt from something in her past.

What are her consequences when she does not follow a rule?  At this age, you can have her go to her room to calm herself down and you can calm yourself down in the meantime as well.  Then proceed to explain what she did wrong in the situation at hand.

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momofsixangels
by Colleen on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:28 PM


Quoting frndlyfn:

Why are you constantly yelling at anyone?   I am an easy crier so yelling does start the waterworks for me and it is out of my control.   Try using a firm, low tone of voice that is calm when speaking to anyone for discipline or otherwise.   I do a sharp "Hey ! "to get dd attention and then a calm voice.

Who has custody of the children?  She could be just over sensitive or still hurt from something in her past.

What are her consequences when she does not follow a rule?  At this age, you can have her go to her room to calm herself down and you can calm yourself down in the meantime as well.  Then proceed to explain what she did wrong in the situation at hand.

This

KRIZZ25
by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:53 PM
wow.. does she live wth u ??? if she does wen she cry es for no good reason send her to her room..tell her u will not have it..if ur out tell her she will have to do this or that (chore ) wen she get home..or what ever punishment.i told my kids from a teary age .if thy cry for no good reason thy will go to Thar room..i don't wont to hear it..i cant stand crying..
KRIZZ25
by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:56 PM
if ur mom or sister raises her tell them u deal wth the child .u don't wont me to...@!! don't allow her to hurt ur kids or any one else.. get down to her level look in her eyes and say "don't do that agn ..u are hurting (child name) ..u are not going to hurt him or her.
EireLass
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 7:01 PM
1 mom liked this

No, you just have your way of handling her, and others have their way. I think you did the right thing.

lil_mama06
by Brian's Lil Vixen on Mar. 29, 2013 at 8:51 PM

My 10 year old is also sensitive..But I also don't let her hurt her sister.. 

mackiebugsmom
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:03 PM
My dd is almost 10 and emotional. It sounds like your niece doesn't or didn't have the most stable couple of years. That on top of new hormones would be hard for anyone. It sucks that she hurt your three year old, my youngest is 2 and sometimes gets the full force of my dds emotions, I understand that that is frustrating and unacceptable but I think you should cut her some slack with the sensitivity right now..
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