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Smarter Living: Expectations vs. reality

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There is an episode of in Season 3 of Parenthood (one of the best shows on TV right now) that I could totally relate to...well, all of the episodes I can relate to, but this one really struck home. So, Kristina (the character played by Monica Potter) just had the baby and she wants to plan a Family Fun Night, a great, awesome way to get all three kids, herself and husband together. She spent weeks planning what they would do (ended up picking mini golf) and, as they set off in the minivan, what happens? Fights, heated words, annoyances all erupt. Needless to say, the Family Fun Night is anything but fun. 

I get this. Kristina had expectations of a perfectly awesome family bonding time, which didn't match up with reality. As we all know, having certain levels of expectations can really mess things up, but, man, I do it all of the time. I think ahead, about to the way I think a vacation or party or just a regular day should go and try "force" behaviors or situations, while Reality has a totally different game plan. And then I get upset. Not majorly upset, but kind of.

Instead of just doing what I can do to make whatever it is the way I'd like it to go and then letting go and enjoy with what is happening in the moment, I get caught up with how it isn't matching up with what I had expected. I am getting better and not doing this, rememberting that things will be what they will be, but that is so hard to remember sometimes.

I'm wondering if you do this too? Do you have a hard time managing your own expectations, with conrtolling the way things should go?

ŠiStockphoto.com/Alxpin 

 

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (31-35):
lizzig
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 4:22 PM

 i realized a long time ago i had to let go of my expectations of life because you can never make it into what you want it to be.  life is full of compromises & detours.  it's kinda like maneuvering down rapids, sometimes you just have to go with the flow, no matter how much you want to fight against it & try to control it.

SlightlyPerfect
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Just imagine how much people could accomplish after they accept that there is no god. No god to blame. No god to thank. No god to praise. No god to grant or deny requests. No predetermined plan. Just imagine the possibilities that would come with that one realization that people have to take ownership of themselves, their choices, and their moral obligations.
Yesterday at 10:57 AM
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 4:23 PM

Is versus Ought is a shitty struggle, for sure.

slightlyperfect

delanna6two
by Gold Member on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:59 AM

I try my best to take a little in at a time...a day at a time to try to cut down on the stress and pressure.

JoanahLee
by Member on Apr. 15, 2013 at 5:48 PM

One of the hardest lessons ive had to learn as a parent is that no matter how well I plan things It's not up to me how well it goes. 

I used to be one of those people that planned down to the second, had everything lined up on a schedule and had no fun at all if things did not go perfectly.   

Iv'e had to let that go a bit. LOL.  

teesoloca
by on May. 12, 2013 at 3:26 AM

 no, things dont always go perfect but it is what it is and its an experience either way.

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