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Now I feel that empty feeling....

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:55 PM
  • 19 Replies

As most of you know I just lost a pregnancy. it was not planned and Sadly it was not very welcomed yet. I started to get my head wrapped around the idea of having another, as we were done having children and then I learned I was miscarrying. I was ok with it, but itsproven to be an emotional roller coaster... 

I also lost a little boy at 16wks due to a twin molar pregnany. It was a pregnancy from hell and the aftermath of it was even worse. 2 months of chemo thereapy and I did not want to ever go through that again, I didnt want anymore kids but then I felt empty. I got pregnant with my Daughter a few months later and after I had her, I felt complete..

So now since I have lost this pregnancy part of me is ok with being done, but another part of me feels like I was ment to have another one and maybe somewhere down the road, we could have another baby.... Dh doesnt want anymore, he wants his visectomy and just is done, no negotiation... I know that I dont want to suffer another loss again, no way, but I just feel empty right now.

Is this normal?

by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:55 PM
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by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:41 AM

Very normal.  A loss is a loss no matter what and you begin picturing that life growing inside of you and becoming a part of your life as you were a part of its life.  I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and then another at 18.5 weeks requiring surgery for removal and both occurred around the times of my family's birthdays including the last one around mine and my husband's.  I always wanted 3 kids and have my 2 girls, who I love dearly but I dont feel complete yet.  I planned on stopping having kids when I turned 35, which is less than a month away but after those 2 miscarriages, I am not sure I can or if my eggs are even good enough anymore.  I thought I was pregnant last month since my period was never late but it came a week later and because I never tested, I will never really know for usre whether it was my period or if I had an early miscarriage, which was kinda why I didnt test, so I would never know for sure. 

I have felt empty ever since and at this point, it has been nearly a year later.

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:44 AM

I am very sorry for loss. I think what you are feeling is very normal. Miscarriages can be an emotional rollercoaster and the you will feel empty. I can understand and relate. My mom, my sister, and myself have all had miscarriages. My sister was a twin and my mom lost the other twin while pregnant with her at 2 months. My sister has had two miscarriages and I have had one. You are not alone in this. Hugs hun! Take care and if you need to talk let me know.

by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:26 AM

 i would say that is pretty normal to feel empty right now. i know when i went through menopause i felt the same way. i went through it early. i have three kids and really could not handle another one but it still weighed on my mind. i hope you start feeling better soon.

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:38 AM

Aww hugs

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:20 AM

Very normal. I used to never ever want children. Then we got pregnant using 2 types of protection and everything. Same as you we weren't fully in love with the idea yet, but weren't actually upset either. But then we lost the baby and it was a big eye opener for us. It actually made us want to have children and we started a long road of trying afterwards. I would say give yourself time, a few months at least to make any decisions after a loss because your emotions are all over the place and is hard to know if its actually what you want or if you are making a rash decision based on how you feel at the moment. *hugs* i am so sorry!

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:21 AM
So sorry for your loss . There has to be a lot of emotions happening to be able to heal.
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by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:36 AM

I'm so sorry!  I think what you are going through is very normal.  Even though it wasn't a planned pregnancy, it was still a part of you.  So the loss is still very painful.  Wait a while for the hormones to get out of your system before you decide for the last time if you want one more child or not.  Right now the hormones are still there and they will make you a little crazy  =)  You need to think about what it will mean to your family to CHOOSE to start all over again with a new little one.  Your husband is thinking he doesn't want to start over, that it's a good time to prevent any accidents and enjoy the life you have, so take that into serious consideration too.  Good luck!

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:36 AM
Very normal. Hugs!
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by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 9:18 AM

So sorry for your loss hon,
I would say very normal.
Big hugs to you :)

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 9:23 AM

Definitely normal. I still feel very empty after our loss and it's been 5 years. ((HUGS))

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