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Does being resilient sometimes come with a price?

Posted by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 2:54 PM
  • 8 Replies
Last year I took a ten month trip to Fargo, ND to find work (to break out of long term unemployment). I returned back to the Kansas City area and stayed as a result from a car accident (was meant to be a short trip). While being in Kansas City, I got a fast food job (McD) in Lenexa. I found out that the new job didn't pay me what I had expected (what I was used to) from the Fargo McD job. First, there wasno night differential pay in the corporate store in Lenexa, as well as there is only three people (when there's supposed to be five). Teamwork is not the buzz but lightning speed multi-tasking. The nights are just as busy (but not always) as it is during the day. Two months into the job, I gave my two weeks notice. I was just getting tired of being trapped in a job, doing the job of three people, without any differential pay. This is worse when I get trapped in the early breakfast rush when the day shift does not come in yet, and the might manager never responds to my calls for help (just sits in the office talking, eating, or whatever.

Just after giving my two weeks, my hubby got his furloughs order (sequester), which added to,my cause to quit my McD job for a higher paying assembly job. (I haven't heard from the assembly job HR yet, but checking today. If in case I don't get the job, I'm fully aware and emotionally prepared to move back to Fargo.

My husband is not very resilient toward change and has a temperament toward most jobs. Getting a second job is not a part of his plans. (And he snaps at me whenever I bring up the issue.)

I have a BSBA in technology that hasn't panned (not even in Fargo) because a lack of 3 to 5 years of experience. (I tried to freelance for experience, but was told that it didn't have the dynamics that they (employers) were looking for.

Q: Why does it seem that when I take action to make things better, it does in one area, but is destructive in another area (such as helps out financially but is damaging to my personal life to my husband)?
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 2:54 PM
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by Ruby Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 3:24 PM
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 so sorry to hear all you & your family are going through.  it sucks!!  i know exactly what you mean.  with us it seems when ever we get a step ahead we end up taking 2 back.  it's like fighting a loosing battle with the forces of the universe.  i wish i had some answers for you.

by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 3:27 PM
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It seems like you and hubby have been through a whole series of incredibly difficult financial and employment situations. Is there any way you can sit down together and identify 3-5 personal and financial goals, and then break down steps to meet them? What are your non-negotiables? What are his?

Also, he may just need some time and emotional support with this furlough coming up. I can imagine that he's discouraged and frustrated with not being able to provide adequately for your family, especially since the result of that was you moving several states away in order to make ends meet.

What you are describing sounds like you guys just aren't on the same page about what needs to happen. Before making any big decisions employment or location wise, I'd look for a way to have some honest conversations with him if at all possible. Hang in there! I know you have been really struggling and trying to do whatever is best. I hope you can work something out.

by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 3:51 PM
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I'm so sorry =( Hope your situation improves soon!

by Ruby Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 3:57 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Hugs, and I hope it gets better soon!
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by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 4:00 PM
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HUGS HUGS HUGS..In Feb 2010 dh and I moved from Arizona to Oregon with our 6 kids and pets..We were "homeless" for 11 months..Brian commuted over 65 miles away from where we were..He stayed in his brother's trailer during the week and came to us on the weekends..Then during the summer months, we camped in our 5th wheel until it got cold again..We questioned ourselves many many times..Then in Jan of 2011 we moved into a house and was supposed to be there for 4 years but had to move out by Dec 2011..It's been tough but things are finally coming around...My sister is living in Georgia (moved from Arizona) She's now working 2 jobs to keep afloat and it's just her and her dog..Hope something happens for you and your family and you won't have to struggle..You gotta do what's best for your family...HUGS HUGS HUGS

by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 6:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry. And I understand how a step forward in one area of life can seem like a step back in another. Is there a way to get some outside perspective from friends or family who know your situation? Do you know any couple friends who might be able to sit down with you and offer some encouragement?  

by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Hope things get better for you.I wish I had advice but we are losing our home and have to be out by the end of next month. Lots of hugs and prayers for you

by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry for you and your family! I hope things work for you and your family and you can find a job in your field. Good luck hun and hugs! :)

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