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GRRR call me ungrateful. I dont care..

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 Ok so I made a few posts about my dh niece staying with us. For the ones who dont know. She is 25 has 2 kids (19week old boy 3y old girl).. she has to stay with us cause she got in trouble with DSS.. popping pills, almost lost her kids. So she cant be alone with them...

Now dont get me wrong.. I dont mind her helping. but her helping turns into a taking over MY household.. yes I want her to wash her babys bottles or her dds plate.. but she does not need to wash all of MY dishes 24/7.. I have a few plates in the sink which I plan on washing later in the day.. nope cant do it cause she is already  all in it washing things.. (I like to wash dishes, feels good on my hands)...or I get laundry upstairs to fold.. nope she HAS to do it.. of course not the way I like to have them folded so I have to redo them.... ok Im not OCD by no means. but I have a certain way my pantry  is set up..topshelf are like, ketchup, mustard, bbq sauce, pb, jelly sugar,flour etc.... next one down is rice, noodle, tacoshells, then we have the cans and all the cans are in order (green beans, peas, corn , basically can goods etc) last shelf is breakfast: like hot chocolate, poptarts etc.. and also oil..

I like the way my pantry is set up I can open it and dont have to look around for stuff. Nope She also had to go behind it and rerange stuff...,, now the breakfast is with the noodles ...

My dh is like:you ungrateful she is trying to help.. I keep telling him that I dont need her help Im a big girl.. lol..

Would this aggravate you if someone would come and "taking over" YOUR household???

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Replies (41-50):
slw123
by Shawna on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:05 AM
You weren't the one that posted a few weeks ago about your husband going out partying with the niece while you are at home taking care if her kids are you? If so, she would already be kicked out. If not, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and let her help. Or give her specific things that she takes care of at the house.
mamivon2
by Sandra on Oct. 27, 2013 at 1:23 PM

 

I understand that.. my husband told me I was ungrateful until HE couldnt find something.. Just looked at him and said: idk ask her..if it takes me 20 min to find my cutting bord its bad :)

Quoting decor42:

 I personally think she is trying to show her gratitude for you having her in your home.  We all have our own ways in which to fold laundry, clean, cook and organize.  Try working with her and show her how you would like things done in your home. 


 

mamivon2
by Sandra on Oct. 27, 2013 at 1:23 PM

 

yep that was me.. We cant really kick her out since the DSS is involved..

Quoting slw123:

You weren't the one that posted a few weeks ago about your husband going out partying with the niece while you are at home taking care if her kids are you? If so, she would already be kicked out. If not, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and let her help. Or give her specific things that she takes care of at the house.


 

teesoloca
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 3:09 AM

 i agree! well said!

Quoting nana9106:

Sorry buy I kind of agree with your DH. It sounds like She is trying to be helpful and earn her keep. She doesnt want you to think she is mooching....which is good.
You could make like a chore list...these are the choresyou would like her to do and these are the chores you will do. Tactfully explain to her that you do appreciate her help but please do not rearrange anything. It doesnt sound like she wants to take over it sounds like she appreciates you letting her stay yhere and is trying her hardest not yo be an imposition on you and your family.

 

exhaustedmother
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 4:38 AM

Yes, I like to do things my way too. I can understand how it makes you feel but it is probably just her way of showing  you how thankful she is for allowing her to stay with you!

powow65
by kimmy on Oct. 29, 2013 at 7:21 AM
Nope, I'll let some one else wash my dishes! Lmao!
But laundry...... Don't touch MY laundry (dirty or not!) it isn't yours! In a BIG GIRL (I'm mommy!) I can wash & fold my own laundry!
But everything else, let her! Heh!
powow65
by kimmy on Oct. 29, 2013 at 7:22 AM
Whe did that happen?!

Quoting slw123:

You weren't the one that posted a few weeks ago about your husband going out partying with the niece while you are at home taking care if her kids are you? If so, she would already be kicked out. If not, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and let her help. Or give her specific things that she takes care of at the house.
Luvmybooskies
by Tiff on Oct. 29, 2013 at 7:24 AM

I agree with you.


Quoting lyrick24:

She is probably just feeling grateful that you are letti g her stay and wants to help out as much as possible. You could just tell her that if you need her help you will let her know and that you like doing certain things. I wouldn't make a big real out of it.



jdy9440
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 7:29 AM

Wouldn't bother me...

fudgybuddymom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 7:29 AM

Yes but if she was cleaning esp the dishes I would be grateful & evaluate whether her re-arranging is worth being aggravated over. But then I hate washing dishes!

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