Last week, I was innocently wasting time on Twitter when there was an unexpected knock at the door. The mailman? No. Jehovah's Witnesses? Nope. Girl Scouts? Think again.
It was a friend -- a real life friend -- popping by unexpectedly for a visit. She happened to be in the neighborhood and thought she'd stop by to say hello. Is that ok, she asked? Sure, I nervously laughed. Come on in. It's not that I was unhappy to see her -- not at all. It was that all I could think the whole time was "OMG, what if she needs to use the bathroom and when the hell was the last time I cleaned it?"
Fortunately, she left pretty soon after and did not have to use the restroom during those endless 15 minutes. But the experience got me thinking about all the things I scurry to do when preparing to entertain and how it might be a good idea to start doing them on a regular basis. Things like ...
1. Put my shoes away. It makes so much more sense just to keep a pair (or seven) by the front door, doesn't it? But it doesn't make for the nicest welcome, especially the way my son's shoes smell these days.
2. Stock the fridge. Somehow I do manage to feed my family, but if you come by unexpectedly and want anything to drink other than 1% milk or tap water, you'll be shit out of luck. Maybe there's a rogue juice box ... somewhere.
3. Light a candle. The smell of vanilla sticks or lavender fields is so much more pleasant than the combination of dog, kids, and whatever I cooked last.
4. Make the bed. I mean, really, what's the point? The sheets just get messed up the next night anyway.
5. Wipe down the counters. Because that sticky substance just somehow feels like home.
6. Put my pills away. Not everyone needs my pack of birth control pills staring them back from smack dab in the middle of the table. Except me. I really, really need that reminder.
7. Shut the nightstand drawers. Because whatever's in there should never see the light of day.
8. Put the clean laundry away ... or at least hide it. Who needs a dresser anyway when you can just pull everything you need off the couch? Oh, I'm sorry ... you wanted to sit there?
9. Shower. I do shower daily ... I just usually do it at night, which means if you come by at 3 p.m., there's a mighty good chance I'll be wearing what I have been in since yesterday.
10. Clean the bathroom. With all of the games my boys like to play, I can't for the life of me understand why "Pee IN the Toilet" has never taken off. It's like darts, but with urine! Why aren't they up for the challenge?
So, did I learn my lesson and scrub the toilets after my friend left? Of course not; I had things to do on Twitter. Besides, who wants to encourage unexpected visitors, anyway? Definitely not me.
Can you relate?