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Is it ever okay to stay married for the kids?

Posted by on Apr. 28, 2014 at 8:27 AM
  • 46 Replies

My aunt is so miserable in her marriage but stays for the kids.  We were discussing it this past weekend. I felt so sorry for her and would never want to stay in a bad relationship for the kids  I think it teaches them the wrong message that it's okay to not be happy.

What do you think?

by on Apr. 28, 2014 at 8:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2014 at 8:33 AM
Same as you-sends the wrong message.
oliveoil423
by Member on Apr. 28, 2014 at 8:36 AM
Parents should never stay together if they are not happy with each just for the kids.
mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Apr. 28, 2014 at 9:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it does the kids a terrible disservice. It teaches them that if you have kids with someone you have to be with them, even if you hate each other, it teaches them that a crappy marriage is normal and okay. That's alone makes it not okay.

momma-flynn
by Greta on Apr. 28, 2014 at 9:08 AM
I have a friend who's parents waited to divorce until the kids were grown and out of the house. The kids wished that they had divorced sooner because they saw how miserable their parents were.
psych_mom
by on Apr. 28, 2014 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this

I think that it depends on the situation. I do think that some people can make it work, but if you are completely miserable then it is not a good idea to have kids in that type of environment. Most kids are pretty resilient and do well after a divorce depending on the circumstance, but if they are kept in a tense environment it can do more harm.

mrswillie
by CeeCee on Apr. 28, 2014 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this
It isn't ok. Kids can sense tension and unhappiness.
momofsixangels
by Colleen on Apr. 28, 2014 at 10:04 AM

No if your not happy then the kids wont be so why stay in a bad marriage

othermom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 28, 2014 at 10:12 AM

I think it depends. I don't think in most cases it is a good idea though

IncognitoOne
by Angela on Apr. 28, 2014 at 10:48 AM

 I don't think so. The kids will feel worse seeing them miserable and together than seeing them apart but happy.

conweis
by Member on Apr. 28, 2014 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it depends. People in general no of days give up on marriage.
If there isn't any abuse going on, maybe they just need to rekindle the lost love and romance. Saying "staying because of the kids" could help people get the counseling their marriage needs to build a better stronger marriage. 

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