i helped out at a camp my children did this past week. one of the boys at the camp was very hard to keep in line. to keep focused, on task, etc. 1/2 the time he showed no interest in the camp & didn't seem to listen but when we got him to focus he did wonderful at what ever the task was. me & the other teachers had no idea how to handle him. wasn't till wednesday when his mom picked him up (dad had been dropping off & picking up) that we found out the boy was highly autistic. we all kinda thought it was something like that but since we didn't know we didn't really know how to approach him. after talking to mom & finding out all of his "little quirks" the last two days of camp went really well for him & us adults. when his mom came to the performance yesterday she told us how much her son had enjoyed the week (not an impression we got from the first 3 days) & how she loved how we were with him during the performance. he hates crowds & wouldn't get up in front of the parents to perform so i sat off to the side of the stage with him (where his mom could see him), playing whistle & singing along with him.
all the things we did with him the last two days to keep him focused & engaged we couldn't have done if we had never found out that he was autistic, if we hadn't found out about all his "quirks".
so while i do get why parents don't like to label their children, they do need to inform the people looking after their child, spending several hours a day with them, of any issues they may have. you'd tell a caretaker about any allergies so why not tell them about everything?